Saturday, 18 February 2012

Day 17 - 2nd Chemo Cycle

I had a good day but was quite tired.  I always seem to be a little more tired the day after I've been out or done something.  So as a result of being out at a hockey game last night,  I didn't do much today.  I did do a load of laundry and went for a brief visit to the mall with my husband this afternoon.  That was enough to totally wipe me out.  Today is my son's birthday and I was going to make him a cake.  Because I'm feeling so dragged out today, Scott has stepped up and is making the cake.

I found when I went to the mall earlier in the week that I was too warm while wearing a touque in the mall.  So today I decided to wear a baseball cap.  Because it doesn't cover my whole head like a touque, I felt somewhat exposed.  I was worried that people would be able to see the bald patches that I have.  I still have some hair but it's quite thin and patchy.  Anyway, I kept checking myself out in the mirror before we left and finally decided it was OK.  That was until we were walking into the mall and then I felt the need to grab Scott's hand for support.  In that moment, I felt very insecure and lacked confidence.  I shared what I felt with Scott at the time and then as he held my hand and we continued through the mall, my confidence returned.  I was in Zellers and was about to look at hats when I saw a man walk by with his finger up his nose and mining then wiping it on the hats.  It turned my stomach and I couldn't even bother to look at the hats.  At that point, I didn't want to touch anything in the store, or in the mall.  EWWWWWWW is the only thing that comes close to being able to express what I felt.

It was nice to get some fresh air today, but I'm tired.  I want to go to church in the morning, but I also want to make sure I have energy for going out for dinner with the family tomorrow night.  I'm discovering that I have energy for one activity and then it takes a full day to recover from that.  Scott is concerned about what I do and is wanting me to make sure that I'm not overly tired coming into this next chemo treatment on Thursday.  I, too, am trying to make sure that I'm not overdoing it.  When I'm tired, then the side effects feel even worse.  So I'll go out for dinner tomorrow night.  Monday I won't do anything.  Tuesday I have an appointment to go to.  Wednesday I have my doctor's appointment and then my daughter is performing in Kiwanis. Wednesday night  I'm hoping to be able to make a brief visit to hear my chamber music friends practise because I won't be able to hear them at Kiwanis.  Their performance is during my week of not feeling well.  They will understand if I'm too tired to hear them play on Wednesday night, but I'm hoping I will have enough energy to hear them. Then on Thursday I have my 3rd chemo treatment.  That will be the halfway mark of my full treatment.

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