Saturday, 4 February 2012

Day 3 - Second Chemo Cycle

I slept well last night up until 2:00 a.m.  My stomach was gurgling and rolling.  I laid there until 3 and then gave in and took the supplemental anti-nausea medication.  I wasn't due to take my regular dose until 6 a.m.  Then I slept through until 8 and immediately had to take my regular dose as my stomach was what woke me up.  Thank goodness it is only nausea that I'm feeling and not actually being sick.

I didn't start to perk up at all until about 2:00 this afternoon.  I've had  a quiet day where I've had to force myself to eat and drink.  Nothing has appealed.  Scott made supper tonight and once I started eating my appetite was slightly there.  He's making me rice pudding tonight to try to tempt my taste buds.  We'll see.

My hair continues to fall out.  There is still just a little bit left.  I caught a look at myself in the mirror and felt the tears start to prick my eyes.  I look so old and ill.  I know my hair will grow back and I thought I was prepared for the changes but it is difficult to see so much hair on my pillowcase.  The rest of it will most likely come off in the shower tomorrow morning.

I am catching up on movies that I've been too busy to watch over the years.  This afternoon I watched "Steel Magnolias" from 1989.  It was one of the many movies I've wanted to watch in the theatres over the years.  Perhaps I'll make my bucket list of movies that I've missed and to try to see them over the next few months.

I also knitted while I watched the movie on television.  Tonight I'm hoping to finish my 9th pair of socks for the "In From The Cold" homeless shelter.  This morning I finished my second book "The Scottish Prisoner" by Diana Gabaldan.  It was very good as her books always are.  Now I can't wait for her next book to be published in "The Outlander" series.  My next book that I'll be starting tonight is "The Search" by Nora Roberts.

I'm always amazed at the Godcidences that happen.  Today when I was feeling quite low, ill and despondent, I received a phone call from a very good friend.  Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling well enough to answer the phone, but just to hear from my daughter that my friend had called helped me feel like I was being carried while I was too weak to care for myself.  At one point this morning all I could think of was a quote I heard from Gloria Vanderbilt "One breath at a time, one moment at a time, one step at a time".  That is how I felt this morning..."one breath at a time".

Anyway, another Godcidence was a handwritten letter from a very good friend who has been such a support for me right from the beginning of this journey.  Her note had been dropped off in our mailbox and her note helped carry me this afternoon while I struggled with tears.  And not long after that, another card was dropped off in my mailbox from a student and his family.  Again I was lifted up.  After this third Godcidence, I now had some strength breathed back into me.  I was perking up.  Then I was blessed with a fourth Godcidence in one day!!!  I received an email message from a flute student who I taught 20 years ago!  Her message was so empathetic, encouraging and uplifting!

God really does help us when we're down.  Thank you to all of you.  Everyone says they just feel the need to send me a message.  Thank you for listening to the gentle urging of God to contact me.  These all seem to arrive when I most need the support.  I'll end by saying that faith, love and hope are what helps us meet insurmountable challenges.  That and the support and love of family.  God uses us all in what seems like small ways but add up to very large ways.

1 comment:

  1. Love the word 'Godcidence'. Thank goodness for those moments; they help us keep going. Looks like the good Lord is looking out for you. He is always there when we need Him most.