Sunday, 4 March 2012

Day 11 - 3rd Chemo Cycle

I woke up this morning at 4:00 wide awake.  I was still awake when everyone else started rousing at 7:30.  I felt really good so I decided that I would go to church this morning.  I haven't been to a Sunday morning service since December 11, 2011.  Choosing clothing was not difficult.  Choosing what to wear to cover my head was more challenging.  Anyone who knows me well, knows that I do not like to fuss with my hair.  Since there is almost no hair, this translates into not liking to fuss with hats, scarves, touques, etc.  I started off with a lighter weight touque which a friend gave me and I dressed it up with a scarf I had bought in February.  My daughter has a very good sense of style, so I modelled it and asked her opinion.  She thought it looked good.  I showed my husband and he said the same thing.  But....each time I looked in the mirror I saw "Aunt Jemima".  The scarf wound around the edge of the touque and knotted at the top of the middle of my forehead.  I couldn't get past the "Aunt Jemima" look.  And I was sweltering! So off came the ensemble with only 30 minutes before the service was to start.  Back to the drawing board.  The same friend that gave me the light weight touque also gave me a filmy blue scarf with sliver thread woven throughout.  I picked it up and tried different ways of tying it around my head like I had seen on Youtube awhile ago.  Each one looked like a 5 year old had done it.  In frustration, I tried one more way of using the scarf.  This was my own last ditch effort not seen anywhere before. looked good.  My daughter loved it.  My husband loved it.  We left for church before I could rethink it.

I was emotionally overwhelmed by the reception of everyone at church when they saw me.  Everyone was so supportive and caring!  They liked my "hat".  They commented on how pink my cheeks were.  I enjoyed the service but part way through I started to tire.  I noticed I was a little wobbly getting up for one of the hymns.  I didn't want to leave because I was receiving so much from the prayers, the music, the reflection and scriptures as well as my "church family".  So I stayed sitting through the rest of the "standing" moments in the service.  My intention was to leave right after the service.  How nice it was to be surrounded by friends who wanted to tell me how nice it was to see me out at church.  One teenager, who I have always been able to joke with, couldn't wait to tell me that she's currently working on learning "Fur Elise" and "Moonlight" Sonata by Beethoven.  She wants to play it for me so I suggested she tape it and put it up on Facebook for me to see.  I'd love to hear her.  I just couldn't this morning as I was getting very tired.

As I was leaving the church, I realized how tired I was.  My knees got weak as I was going down the stairs to leave the church.  I went to the van and waited for my husband to join me.  I looked in the vanity mirror on the passenger side and realized that my scarf arrangement reminded of the hat that Clark Griswold wears in the attic in "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation"! When Scott climbed into the van, I mentioned this to him.  We both had a good laugh.  Scott also noticed that I was going quite pale.  We got home and I enjoyed a small bowl of soup and immediately went for a nap.

I've knitted and watched the early draws on tv of the Tim Hortons Brier (curling) this afternoon.  I'm still constipated but I don't currently have an achy abdomen.  My appetite is coming back.  We had maple spareribs for supper tonight and I was able to eat a good portion.  A church friend dropped off some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for us today.  I tried one and realized my taste buds aren't totally right yet.  I normally love these cookies but not at the moment.  Oh well, my children will really enjoy them unless my husband eats them first.

Today was such a good day!  I'm hoping to plant some seeds indoors tomorrow in preparation for spring planting.


  1. I'm so happy to read that you made it to church yesterday! Your faith and fortitude are inspiring. xoxo.

  2. This was such a lovely post, Cathy. I was so happy to read about you getting to church, and the warm reception you received, which is not surprising.

    Spring is on its way with all its glory, which will help lift your spirits, give you hope and brighten your day. There are better days waiting for you up ahead. I know it. God is keeping an eye on you.