How Our Actions Speak

Way back in February, my husband and I were celebrating Valentine's Day a little late at a fine dining establishment. We were stretching the budget to do this but we felt it was important to find some "our" time during the busy month and busy months to come. We really enjoyed our meal and some wine and cocktails to go with it. We were there for a couple of hours having a leisurely date. At the end of the meal, our check came. When the waitress delivered it to our table, she said that she had also been serving a lone young man who had a gift card for the restaurant. It was for an amount more than he had consumed and he told the waitress to put the rest of the gift card to our bill. What a kind and generous gesture!! It ended up covering our complete meal (appetizers, entrées and desserts). All we had to pay for was our drinks. To this day, this young man's "pay-it-forward" action continues to warm my heart.

As a Christian, I am often reminded that our actions reflect our faith. I strive to emulate Christ's love in my daily interactions. I say I strive, because I am human and I do have faults which mean that I am not always successful in showing loving generosity and patience in all situations. I think that the "pay-it-forward" trend is another way that we can make ourselves open to channelling the Holy Spirit if we listen to the nudge that comes from within us. I find when I act on the "internal nudge" of the Holy Spirit (our conscience?) then good things happen. I tend not to be too spontaneous as I fill my day with teaching lessons, chores, family errands and volunteer opportunities. However, when I am spontaneous and drop by a friend's place unannounced as I know they are struggling with life then I am rewarded with a warm glow, a deepened friendship and a day that continues to be fulfilling.

I think of the Good Samaritan story and I reflect that it would be very easy to just walk on by because I would make myself late for an appointment or I would convince myself that I really couldn't help because I'm not qualified (if someone fell for instance). But I also know that I have stopped to help people in the past. Sometimes my act of kindness is rebuffed but I still am filled with satisfaction and warmth. Other times, I may do an act of kindness and forget about it. And then the person who was on the receiving end of that act will mention it to others even years later. We don't know how our small actions may speak to others.

What we consider a minor gift of time, may actually bring tremendous joy and appreciation to someone. We often don't know. In the same way, what may be an instant reaction of impatience on my part, may also linger in a negative way that I am not aware of. I think of passing the homeless people on the street who are begging for money. I'm always uncomfortable passing by them. Am I uncomfortable because I'm ignoring that inner nudge to help? Or am I uncomfortable because I'm passing a harsh judgement on them inside my thoughts? There is one man that has pages of poems that he says he has written and passes them out. They are computer generated and I wonder if they are really his own writings and musings. Did he just copy and print them from another source on the computer? Or are they really his own? I will give him money as he passes it to me because he has taken time to print them off. He's not just standing with a hat in hand hoping for generous donations. He's offering something in return. However, I did pass another gentleman early one morning as he sat on the hard sidewalk in the early summer morning. He was with a couple of friends who also had their hats out on the ground looking for donations. I was on my way to do some shopping and I ignored them. I, again, felt that inner nudge (conscience or Holy Spirit?). I concluded my shopping and as I passed by them again I thought "My life is full, I have family to love me, food in my cupboards/freezer and money to buy wants not necessarily needs". So I dug into my purse and gave each of the 3 men some money. I realize that the money might go to support a habit. But maybe that small amount of money might buy them some food. I don't know but I do know that the "inner nudging" disappeared and I felt a little better as I continued on my way down the main street.

Our actions do speak very clearly about who we are. As I write this, I am reminded of the very generous kindnesses and donation of time that our "hosts" in The Netherlands extended to my husband and I this past July. They didn't need to donate 2 days of their busy lives to showing us around the area where my great uncle was in WWII. But because they did, we saw things that we wouldn't have known about (the significance or the location). It meant everything to my husband and me. We continue to be in contact with them and continue to receive many blessings from them as they have become more than acquaintances.

For me, if my actions are based on "what would Jesus do?", I have a much better day. If that means "paying it forward", then that's what I do. (As I just re-read this, I inadvertently read it as "praying it forward"...for me that is just as beneficial!). If it means taking a few minutes out of a hectic but full life to spend time with someone or help them out, then that's what I should do. Our actions speak more than we know and resonate with others in ways that we don't always comprehend.

Times of Sadness

Throughout my blog, specifically when I was being diagnosed with cancer and then throughout treatment, I have always said that it is alright to embrace each emotion that you feel. Don't wallow in that emotion, but acknowledge it, feel it and move on. I also acknowledged my feelings of grief and sadness during my recent trip to The Netherlands when I was following my Uncle Russell's footsteps in WWII and specifically in Operation Market Garden/Operation Berlin. I am going to share Uncle Russell's story with you in today's post but first I must acknowledge more feelings of sadness and grief.

During my visits to the Cancer Centre for treatments and check ups, I met a woman who is the sister to the wife of a man my husband works with. I met her multiple times and we talked about many things. We shared laughter. We shared our concerns of what the future would hold for us. We shared momentary triumphs and celebrated them in our brief encounters. I was very saddened today to learn that she passed away a few weeks ago. I have cried today for the life of a woman that was cut way too short.  She was so vibrant and funny. I am angry today. I'm angry because this disease called cancer has taken too many people in my life over the years. Of all the people I have known who had cancer, more have died than who have survived. This makes me feel very fortunate and reminds me to live each day to the fullest but it also makes me grieve for friends and relatives that didn't win the battle. So I'm acknowledging these emotions. They run very deep for me today. I WILL NOT linger in them and let them steal the blessings of today away from me.

Thanks for letting me share and now here is a heart-warming (at least for me) glimpse of my great uncle, Uncle Russell.

Lieutenant James Russell Martin

 

James Russell Martin was born on the family farm near the rural village of Bognor, Ontario, Canada on October 10, 1916.  Bognor is located southeast of Owen Sound, Ontario. He was the second youngest child of William and Eliza Martin.  Russell, as he was known, had 3 sisters (Margaret, Bessie and Mary) and 3 brothers (Willie, Dave and Arthur).  All the children were very intelligent but Russell outshone them all and was adored by all his siblings.

The children all attended an 1873 stone one-room schoolhouse located near their home. Russell was a brilliant student. In order for Russell to attend high school in Meaford, Ontario, Canada, William and Eliza had to pay room and board for him as the school was too far from home by horse and buggy or, in winter, when the roads were not plowed, by horse and cutter. During the depression era when few people could afford to attend high school, he not only completed Grade 13 but he was the top student at the Meaford High School. He was also a Captain in the Meaford High School Cadet Corps. As was common at the time, all the children, including Russell, spent many back-breaking hours helping out in the fields on the farm during a time when there was no electricity and cars were not in common use. All the boys helped with ploughing, planting, rock-picking, weeding and harvesting on hot afternoons although in that area there was often a slight breeze to help cool down the sweat-soaked men and boys.  Russell was full of life and always had a twinkle in his eye. He saw humour in every situation. He was quick-witted and brought fun and life to everyone around him. There were enough children in the Martin family that they would get together in the field near the house and play baseball. Fishing was also a favourite pastime that William passed along to his children. Laughter was often heard as Russell would pull harmless pranks and then be the recipient of harmless pranks in return. The Martin family was very close-knit. Russell was also an adventuresome person and was very similar to his sister, Bessie, in this regard. Russell had no interest in continuing the family tradition of farming and he could not wait to experience the world off the farm. Due to his keen mind, his father worked extra jobs brick laying in addition to farming so that Russell could go to university. He enrolled at Queens University in Kingston, Ontario, Canada to study Mining Engineering in 1936.  He graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Mining Engineering (B.Sc.) in 1940. He returned home for Christmas break in December 1939. His family was excited to see him and they all gathered at the family farm with Russell’s brother in-laws and his new nieces and nephew. Everyone brought contributions of food to add to the long tables set with tablecloths and filled with lots of food and jellies. Russell caught two rabbits to add to the table of food. After the Christmas Day feast which also included a stuffed goose, the Christmas candles on the Christmas tree in the living room were lit and the whole family gathered around the piano to sing Christmas carols. Russell’s mother, Eliza Martin, played the piano and was accompanied by Russell’s father, William Martin, who played the violin. All of the Martin clan had good singing voices.

The parents, William and Eliza, celebrated Russell’s visit home when a formal family picture was taken on December 28, 1939 at a photographer’s studio in Meaford. Front Row (Left to Right): Willie Martin, William Martin (father), Eliza Martin (mother), Arthur Martin. Middle Row (L to R): Dave Martin, Russell Martin, Margaret (Martin) Crosskill. Last Row (L to R): Mary Martin, Bessie (Martin) Shields. This was the last family picture ever taken and continues to be a treasure that is shared with the following generations in the family.

While at university, Russell met a girl from Sydenham, a village north of Kingston, who matched his wit, humour and zest for life. They were a perfect match! On November 6, 1940, Russell married Erma Leonard in Pembroke, Ontario.

After the wedding, he called his parents, William and Eliza Martin, to inform them of his marriage and he sent wedding announcements (not invitations) out to family the day before the wedding. His parents were hurt but were happy to hear he had got married in Calvin United Church. The whole family continued to adore Russell, forgave him and warmly welcomed him and his young wife whenever they came to Bognor to visit.

The family were so full of love for Russell and Erma that when Russell shipped out in July 1943 for England, the family had Erma visit in August 1943 and took her on a warm, summer’s day to Harrison’s Park (which is still there today) in Owen Sound for a picnic and then they stayed to listen to a band concert in the outdoor band shell. While Russell was in Pembroke, he was the assistant engineer of the camp with the civil service commission. He held this position for one year.  On October 2, 1941, he enlisted in the Army and due to his university schooling he was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant. According to his military record, he was 5 feet, 11 inches and 147 pounds. This would make him appear long and lanky which is still a Martin characteristic today. While waiting in the line at the recruitment centre in Toronto, Ontario, Russell Martin met another young man waiting to enlist named Russell Kennedy. Russ Kennedy was also an engineer who had studied at Queens University although they did not know each other as Russ Kennedy was a year behind Russell Martin. Due to their very similar personalities, a close friendship was forged as they went to Brockville, Ontario, Canada for training at the Officer Training Centre.  The two men completed their training and moved to the Royal Canadian Engineers training site at Petawawa Training Centre in Petawawa, Ontario. Russell Martin, now known as Russ outside his family in Bognor, and his best friend, Russ Kennedy were assigned together to the Brockville Officer Training Centre as instructors. This was surely a disappointment for Russell Martin considering his zest for life. Their friendship continued to flourish and they were fortunate to be assigned together to Trois Rivieres (Three Rivers), Quebec, then Sussex, New Brunswick to join the 23^rd Field Company of the Royal Canadian Engineers. This was the beginning of their true adventures and active participation in the War. On June 5, 1943, Russell Martin was admitted to the Sussex Military Hospital with acute tonsillitis until June 14, 1943.  He was then granted sick leave from June 14 to June 19, 1943. Russell and his friend Russ Kennedy were shipped out to England on July 17, 1943. According to Russ Kennedy in his book “Boats, Bridges & Valour”, their commanding officer decided it was too confusing to have two lieutenants named Russ so Russell Martin became known as “Jimmy” as his full name was James Russell Martin. Also according to Russ Kennedy in his book “Boats, Bridges & Valour”, the two friends had some leave together and headed to London where they eventually found themselves at the dog races. Neither had ever been to dog races, so Russell Martin eavesdropped on some regular attendees’ discussions and then he and Russ Kennedy placed their bets accordingly. This proved to earn them $60 in winnings. This is another example of Russell Martin’s clever intelligence. The two best friends would continue being in the same company until Russell Martin’s demise in Operation Market Garden/Operation Berlin. According to a sapper from the 23^rd Field Company named Don Sommerville, Russell Martin’s troops really liked him. He was described as a “square man” which means he was an all-around man who knew his job well, spoke well and was well liked.  The night of September 25/26, 1944, Lt. Russell Martin was voluntarily aboard the second storm boat launched from the south side of the Neder Rhine across from Oosterbeek.  He was going to be the officer in charge of organizing the evacuating men onto the storm boats from the north side of the river. According to Don Sommerville, the night was very dark and black with lots of rain and lightning. Unfortunately, Russell Martin’s boat received a direct hit by a German mortar and it killed all four men on the boat (Sapper Leslie Joseph Roherty, Sapper Harold Cecil Magnusson and Corporal William Daniel Ryan). Don Sommerville was told by someone who saw the boat get hit, that they saw a bright flash and the boat disappearing. The Martin family consoled each other when they received word that Russell Martin was listed as Missing in Action. When they received notice that he was officially declared dead, his wife, his parents and all his siblings were completely devastated. They could not talk about Russell for many years after that. Even now, 70 years later, there are mixed feelings of pride and sorrow amongst the Martin descendants.  He was a brilliant young man who was just at the start of his promising career. The world became a darker place for the Martin clan on September 25/26, 1944. The 23^rd Field Company of the Royal Canadian Engineers also grieved the loss of Lt. James Russell Martin. As was their tradition to honour a fallen comrade, they built their next bailey bridge over the Albert Canal in Belgium and named it the Martin Bridge. It stood for 40 years before being replaced with a permanent bridge.

Russell earned 6 medals during his military service.  He received the Canadian Volunteer Service Medal and Clasp, the France and Germany Star, the Defence Medal, the 1939-1945 Star, the 1939-1945 War Medal and posthumously, from the Netherlands, The Bronze Lion, Order of Orange Nassau with Swords. Russell Martin’s younger brother, Arthur also fought as a rifleman during WWII and before he returned to Canada, he visited Russell’s grave in Elst Cemetery.

In 1946, Lt. James Russell Martin’s remains were moved and reburied in Holten Canadian Military Cemetery in Holten, Netherlands. Over the years, it has been mentioned many times amongst the Martin clan that they wished they could see Russell’s grave. Russell’s great-niece, Cathy, and her husband Scott Meyers were the next Martin kin to finally visit Russell Martin’s grave at Holten Cemetery almost 70 years later in 2014.  What an emotional visit that was!! Cathy had mixed emotions of grief and happiness to finally “meet” Uncle Russell.

Living Each Day to The Fullest

I can't believe another month has gone by and that it is almost time for the children to go back to school!! I've continued to live life to the fullest since I've been back home from holidays. I've enjoyed working in my gardens as I try to dig out the weeds and gain control of the gardens. I didn't really plant my vegetable garden this year because I knew I would be away and it would have become choked out with weeds. This was a smart decision because when I came home you couldn't see where I had planted some carrots and a couple of pepper plants or the one lone tomato plant. The first thing I tackled was my vegetable garden.

As I dug out and pulled the weeds (roots and all), I thought about my Uncle Russell (from my mom's side of the family) and how I was going to write an account of his life which included his personality. How do you write about someone and make them come to life when you didn't even know them?! So I pondered this as I pulled the weeds. I thought about my grandma and how much I miss her. I thought about Uncle Russell's other siblings that I knew well into my own adulthood. I remembered the various reunions and how much fun the Martin clan was to play baseball with and the pranks and family love that infused the events. As I pulled weeds out of the vegetable garden and then the first of the flowerbeds, I also pulled up memories of my great-grandmother from when I was a little girl. I remembered her as being in her late 80's as she sat in a rocking chair in my great-aunt's (Aunt Mary) home. The rocking chair was always in the kitchen by the window so that Great-Grandma could be part of the conversations that always took place in the kitchen. She was a small, frail woman when I knew her. It was always hard to imagine that she had seven children back in the early 1900's. Being a fanciful, imaginative little girl, I was slightly afraid of Great-Grandma. She had an old, crackly voice, that I now know as just being from old age, but at the time reminded me of the old witch in "Hansel and Gretel". What I didn't recognize at the time but I do now in my memories, was the gentle smile that often graced her wizened, wrinkled face. If only I could go back in time, talk with her and make the most of the short amount of time I knew her. However, being a child, I didn't recognize the importance of knowing her. I do remember her being sick once when we came to visit Aunt Mary and my sister and I were given permission to go upstairs to visit Great Grandma. We crept up the stairs quietly because we didn't want to waken her if she was asleep. I remember Great Grandma being awake and in a big bed with lots of covers and pillows. She motioned us in and we spent a little bit of time with her beside her bed. This is one of the last memories I have of Great Grandma because she died not long after. In hindsight, she looked a lot like my grandma as my grandma got older. I've been told that I look like my grandma. Although these memories of Great Grandma are hazy, I do remember a sense of warmth and love when I put aside my childhood imaginings.

So as I've spent the last month working in the gardens and pulling up weeds and memories, I've been working on a project for the Co-ordinator of the Visitors' Centre at Holten Canadian War Cemetery, Mr. Gert Jan van Holt. When we were there in July, he asked me to write up an account of Uncle Russell's life including who he was as a person. It's taken me 3 weeks as I've interviewed Uncle Russell's nieces and nephew who would have known him personally. Of course, these family members were only 4 or 5 years old when he joined the Canadian Army as part of the 23rd Field Company of the Royal Canadian Engineers. So through the telephone interviews, I've received diaries from 2 of his sisters and various memories from his nieces and nephew. I've also received pictures of Uncle Russell and his wife, Aunt Erma. As I've sorted through all the information, I was surprised to discover that I could see his personality emerging. I was flabbergasted and stunned with the type of person he was according to family accounts and memories! My oldest brother has a sense of humour and personality that we always wondered where it came from. His sense of humour was not like my dad's and not like my maternal grandfather's. What I recognized was that my brother's sense of humour and personality is very much like what Uncle Russell's! Now my project was becoming much easier to write. I finished it a couple of days ago but have spent the last 2 days editing it. I finished it last night and it is now sent off to the Netherlands.

This has been such a treasure and joy to work on. I can honestly say that I have smiled with warmth and humour but I have also shed tears of grief as I've learned who Uncle Russell was. If he hadn't died in WWII, I would definitely have known him well as I did his siblings.

I have been reminded again constantly the importance of living life to the absolute fullest. So I've taken time in the last few weeks to play some golf and continue with my golf lessons. My husband and I have been able to continue our enjoyment of lingering beers and food on the local restaurant patios on Fridays after work. We've included our son in these too. Unfortunately, our daughter has to work on Friday nights. But I've spent time with her as we've gone to the mall and had lunch out. I had promised her at the beginning of the summer that we would go for sushi together for lunch at her favourite sushi restaurant. We did this and had a very enjoyable time. She laughed at my attempts to use chopsticks. Throughout my life, I've tried to use chopsticks occasionally and I'm never successful. My daughter patiently showed me and I ate my full meal using chopsticks!

As I've been grabbing life with both hands and enjoying the ride, my husband and I have been going out on his Honda Goldwing. We try to go out every weekend and sometimes even during the week. Last weekend, we drove to visit friends who we haven't seen in about 10 years. They dropped by our home while I was in chemotherapy but I didn't seem them because I was having a rough day. Our visit was truly enjoyable and full of love and warmth even though we drove through heavy rain on the bike to get there. We played cards, stayed overnight, had a wonderful breakfast, saw both their children who are about the same age as our's, and then visited a bird sanctuary. It was a weekend full of love, warmth, good friendship and positive vibes. I truly am blessed!!

In my humble opinion, this is what life is about. Filling each day with positive experiences and creating warm lasting memories, truly is what make life fun and vibrant. Sure we have careers and responsibilities but we do not need to let the drudgery pull us down. As I've read the diaries as part of my research of Uncle Russell, I saw that the women who wrote them had full days of hard labour on the farm during a time when there was no electricity or "gadgets" to make life easier. But despite the long hours of hard work, they made time to visit with family and friends in the community to have fun. I learned from reading these entries about playing cards and going to dances at the local community centres. I think our society has lost our ability to BE a community and involved. We, myself included, are more prone to individual pursuits and isolation. I truly believe that living each day to the fullest is tiring but so well worth the effort. I like nothing better than to fall into bed at night fully satisfied and joyful from connecting with the people around me. I find it helps fill my life with love and warmth.

In a future post, I will post my account of Uncle Russell's life. Have a super weekend!!

Until We Meet Again Holland

At the end of last week, we spent time exploring the Mookeheide by foot.  What an enjoyable day it was and a nice break after all the emotional two days before that.  It was very warm as we walked and hiked but once we were within the shade of the trees in the Mookeheide, it was cool and refreshing.  Thursday, July 24 we went back to Oosterbeek to visit the Airborne Museum and then on to Arnhem to visit the small but surprisingly thorough Arnhem Museum.  The Airborne Museum was very interesting and in the bottom floor, there was a display with live sounds and shouts to make you feel you were there in the midst of the battle and evacuation.  The Arnhem Museum was good but there was no one there to give us a tour in English so we were loaned a guide book with the labels of the artifacts in English.  We saw a German mortar gun and shell which is most likely similar to what hit my uncle's boat as he went across the Neder Rhine.  I found the museums brought forth quite a bit of emotion again and by the end of the day, I was exhausted.

On Friday, July 25, we decided to do something totally different.  We went to the Krohler-Muller Museum of Art which was recommended to me by a friend of mine here at home.  To get to the museum, we drove through a nature reserve/park and we were very surprised to see a desert area complete with sand dunes.  The Krohler-Muller Museum was full of orginals of Dutch painters, Vincent Van Gogh and a special exhibit of Seurat paintings.  After going through the museum, we wandered through the grounds which was another exhibit area of sculptures.  It was very interesting.  After our tour of the museum and sculpture exhibit, we borrowed two bikes from the bike loan area and went for a short tour through the surrounding parkland by bike (on the bike paths of course).  This was fun although I know that scared a lot of the other bikers around us as I haven't been on a bike regularly in over 30 years.  I was a little wobbly and so when I met people on the paths or they were passing me, I would deliberately go off the path so I wouldn't wobble into them.  I obviously need practise but I think I could get into riding a bike again.  It was a day of wonder and something completely different to what we had been doing in Holland up to that point. When I arrived back at our cottage/house, I immediately went to work on doing laundry so that I wouldn't have mountains to do when I arrived home in Canada.  It made for a very late night.

On Saturday morning, we said good bye to our "home" and set off for Amsterdam as part of our travels home to Canada.  We arrived in Amsterdam too early to check in at the hotel, so we decided to drive to Zaanstreek as this was also on our "to do" list while in Holland.  We parked the car and enjoyed a stroll through the area.  I loved all the old windmills, sawmill, cheese house and various boutiques.  This is obviously a tourist area but we did enjoy it.  Then we headed back to Amsterdam to our hotel where we checked in.  Our breakfast for the next couple of days was a combination of the herbed gouda cheese and clementines that we had brought with us from our "cottage".  On Sunday, we took the train into Amsterdam and spent the day there.  I really enjoyed seeing all the old architecture as we took a canal tour by boat.  The boat tour started out as an adventure.  While we waited onboard for the captain to be ready to go, we were banged with quite a jar from another boat.  Thank goodness these tour boats are built to withstand such abuse.  It really did make me wonder about the qualifications of the people they hire for "captains".  However, once we were underway, it was an enjoyable tour.  After the tour, we had some lunch at a café terrace and then we walked to the Anne Frank House where we had a tour booked for 2:30 p.m.  I found the visit to the Anne Frank House very poignant and I could almost feel the terror of the residents of the "house" because as we walked on the wooden floors, the slightest step would create a creak which would definitely be heard down below in the warehouse. The house is deliberately not furnished so that we have a sense of what Anne Frank's father witnessed when he returned after the war.  The living area had been completely ransacked and emptied out by the Germans.

After our visit to the Anne Frank House, we wandered the streets making our way back up to the train station.  We enjoyed a lovely dinner on a terrace that overlooked the canals.  It was interesting to notice the smell of marijuana as people walked by enjoying their smoke. We made our way back to the train and once on the train, we were seated opposite a young couple from Wisconsin.  We chatted and before we knew it, we had arrived at our stop at the Airport.  Our hotel was directly beside the airport.

On Monday morning, we had a leisurely morning and caught the hotel shuttle to the airport so we would be there for our check in time of 1:00 p.m.  There had been thunder storms throughout the early morning but our flight indicated it was still on time.  However, this was not to be.  Due to the storms in the morning, everything was backed up.  Our flight from Amsterdam to Frankfurt ended up being delayed by 3 hours.  This meant we missed our connecting flight from Frankfurt to Toronto.  We were treated very well though by Lufthansa (the airline) who put us up in a Ramada Inn for the night and included a dinner buffet for Monday night as well as a breakfast buffet for Tuesday morning.  The agents at the airport found a new way for us to get home.  We would catch the United Airlines flight from Frankfurt to Newark, New Jersey and then catch a connecting United Express flight from Newark, New Jersey to Toronto and then on the last flight from Toronto to our hometown.  So off we set on Tuesday morning with the hotel shuttle to make our way home.  All the flights were running on time so this was a good omen for us....or so we thought.  We got on the flight from Frankfurt to Newark, New Jersey and before it took off, we were informed that we were upgraded to Business Class (first class).  What a bonus!!!  I had positively been drooling with envy when we walked through the Business Class area to get to our Economy Class seats.  I ended up with a tremendous amount of leg room.  The seats could be fully reclined to make beds! We had complimentary and unlimited drinks (alcoholic or non-alcoholic) as well as a three course meal!  Oh the luxury!!  I loved it!!! This certainly helped pass the 8 1/2 hour plane trip in comfort!

When we arrived at Newark, New Jersey, we had to go through "Passport Control" (customs) and then pick up our baggage and re-check it to continue on to Toronto.  Ooops....our enjoyable glow from our Business Class experience came to an abrupt end.  The line up was tremendous and the United States government had only 4 kiosks open.  We stood in line for 1 1/2 hours to get through "Passport Control".  We missed our connecting flight to Toronto!  Now we had to wait for another flight which was 3 hours later. We finally made our way home and arrived in our house at 1:00 a.m. this morning.  We literally dropped our luggage in the living room and I fell into bed.  We had been up for more than 24 hours and I was exhausted.

I'll spend the next couple of days getting back into this time zone.  This has been the trip of a lifetime even with the glitches in the air travel. I'm a little numb but there are some definite highlights to the trip.  I'll get adjusted and then I hope to organize my self and memories.  I took tons of pictures which always nudge open the door of my memories. My pictures will help me feel and remember this wonderful trip.

Cathy Conquered Cancer Living List (Bucket List)

These last two days in Holland have been incredible!  This trip to Holland was one of the major items on my Cathy Conquered Cancer Living List which I made while I was undergoing chemotherapy in 2012. The activities I've engaged in are the culmination of my husband's research into my Great Uncle Russell's demise during Operation Market Garden in WWII.  My husband's interest was peaked throughout the years as I always recount the stories my grandma and my mom would tell me about Uncle Russell.  Of course, I never knew him as I was born many years after WWII.  My mom was very, very good in keeping his memory alive by showing me pictures and telling me how he died.

My husband started researching Uncle Russell's movements from 1939 onwards. He contacted the Canadian Government and various internet sites dealing with Operation Market Garden. Uncle Russell was part of the Canadian Royal Engineers 23rd Field Company. My husband has been in touch with various people who have helped him with his research through the last several years.  One gentleman from one of these sites suggested my husband should contact another gentleman named Lt. Russell Kennedy who was also part of the Royal Canadian Engineers 23rd Field Company. As it turned out, Lt. Kennedy lived in the same city that we were living in! My husband called him up to make an appointment to meet with Mr. Kennedy. You must realize that this was more than 60 years after the end of WWII. My husband asked Lt. Kennedy if he had known Lt. Russell Martin. What a gift to us it was to have Mr. Kennedy (who actually had retired from the military as a Colonel) say that Uncle Russell was his best friend!!

After reading and researching, my husband was contacted by a lady in Holland who was also researching the seven men from the Royal Canadian Engineers 23rd Field Company.  She is trying to make sure that these seven men who died during Operation Market Garden are not forgotten.  She is trying to give each man's name a picture and story to go with it.  To make a very long story a little shorter, she offered to be our "host" if we ever came to Holland.  So for the last two days, Alice van Bekkum has very generously and graciously been our guide as we wanted to visit the various places where Uncle Russell had been.

My husband found a house to rent for 10 days. It is surrounded by a conservation area which during WWII saw intense fighting as the Allied Forces clashed with the German forces to try and take control of the area. My Uncle Russell was not involved with this part of the campaign. The living room in this house has a complete wall that is one huge picture window.  As I sit inside the house, I feel like I am outdoors.  I can see the various coloured birds flitting around and I can hear their chirps and bright songs.  I can hear the breeze rustling through the leaves of the trees. These same trees have witnessed the fighting that took place here 70 years ago!!  But I digress from my adventures of the last 2 days. Two days ago, Alice arrived at our location to pick us up and lead us on a very grand and emotional adventure.  My husband had been in touch with her via email but he'd not met her or talked with her on the phone before. I was a little nervous but very quickly was at ease with Alice. What a delightful woman with such an abundance of energy and drive!  Our first stop was at the Nationaal Bevrijdingsmuseum 1944-1945 (Liberation Museum). This museum is divided up into three sections which told the story of Holland and how the Germans invaded and occupied Holland, then how Holland was liberated by the Allied Forces and then post war Holland.  This museum has a Memorial Hall that is a separate building.  It has been built to look like a parachute and contains all the names of those men in the Allied Forces who were killed during the liberation of Holland. There was a book with the emblem of the Royal Engineers mounted on the wall above it.  Alice's husband went into the Memorial Hall, while my husband and I were still in the museum, and opened up the book to Uncle Russell's name.  This hall had soft classical music playing in the background which was very soothing. There was a place to leave a message on a piece of paper. As I sat at the table to write my message, my heart was overcome with emotion. I had a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes as I hung my message on the hook with the other messages. I was overwhelmed because there were so many names in all the books in this room. These are not just names but each name was a person and has a story with family behind the name. Each name has generations that have not been able to know them. Each name is an "Uncle Russell"!

After the Bevrijdingmuseum, we drove to a road called Klein Amerika (Little America) where there was a field with a monument showing the dropping zone of the 82nd Airborne. The day was wet and gray so we were unable to get good pictures of the monument. My husband and I may return there in the next couple of days to get a picture as it isn't far from where we are staying.  Alice had a wonderful itinerary set out for us. Due to the amount of time we took in the first museum, we had to forego the Airborne Museum.  My husband and I will go there on our own in the next couple of days. Alice then took us to Oosterbeek where we enjoyed a nice lunch before continuing on our way to Westerbouwing.  This was an area of very high ground on the Neder Rijn (Rhine River) across and down river from where Uncle Russell died. Alice showed us approximately where Uncle Russell's boat would have been launched from on the other side of the river (but upstream). As I looked at the view upstream, my heart was full with emotions. The rain had stopped briefly but it was overcast.  All I could think was that Uncle Russell had been doing this in the dark of night, in very wet, windy and cold conditions.

Next on our itinerary was a visit to an old church where the British and Polish paratroopers had hidden waiting for the Royal Engineers (British and Canadian) to rescue them and help them evacuate. The stone walls on the outside of the church still have the bullet holes that were from the Germans shooting at the paratroopers. The house beside the church was owned by a woman who helped look after the wounded British and Polish paratroopers. Alice mentioned that this lady died a number of years ago as she was hit by a car while she tried to cross the road in front of her house.  The road is a highway and there are some very tight curves right at that spot. We had to be careful ourselves as we crossed the road to get back to Alice's car. Before we left the church/house, Alice showed us the path that the paratroopers would have taken to run through gunfire to get to the rescue boats that came to evacuate them.

Our next stop was to the Engineers Monument in Driel/Arnhem. This was a very emotional time for me!! At this location, is where my Uncle Russell would have helped unload the storm boats and carry them across the fields and two dikes in order to get to the Neder Rijn (Rhine River).  I stood on the road where the truck carrying him would have driven and stopped. As I looked downstream, I could see Westerbouwing where I had just been on the high ground. This is also where the Germans had been (at Westerbouwing) and where the mortar or 88mm shell (no one will ever know for sure which one was used) was launched from that made the direct hit on Uncle Russell's boat. As I write this I again feel the very strong emotions of grief but also a close feeling to Uncle Russell as I stood where he walked and worked.  It was time to move along as the drizzle started to get a little heavier.  Our next stop was in Elst which is a small village downstream.

We went to a small Dutch General Cemetery (community cemetery) in Elst. On the edge of the river at Elst is where Uncle Russell's body was found. He was then buried in this General Cemetery for a brief time before he was moved to Holten Cemetery.  Alice showed us the space where Uncle Russell had been buried. It is an area where there are is a military grave, then a space (big enough for another grave) filled with flowers and an evergreen shrub and then another military grave.  So the garden area is flanked on either side by 2 military graves. Near the graves was a very old tree and again, I had a moment of emotion as this tree would have witnessed my Uncle Russell being buried. Thus ended our first day with Alice.

Yesterday morning, we met Alice at her home.  The only thing on the agenda was a visit to Holten Cemetery to see Uncle Russell's grave and then a nice dinner out with Alice and her husband.  A small way to thank them for their wonderful hospitality.  We left their home and drove to Holten via a route into Germany. We had a small lunch in Holten at Bakkery Nijkamp and then I bought some flowers (red and white roses) to leave with Uncle Russell. In preparation to visit Uncle Russell's grave, I had contacted my mom, uncle and aunt to see what messages they wanted left on Uncle Russell's grave.  The Dutch Legion sells wooden poppy crosses that you can write a message on and leave on the grave.  I had bought a Canadian flag at the National Bevrijdingsmuseum so that I could leave that at the grave as well. After buying the flowers, off we went to Holten Cemetery.  It is located outside of the village and to get there we drove through a beautiful country lane/road that meandered through the woods.  The cemetery is very impressive.  We found his grave.  I had six poppy crosses with messages. Five of these were from Uncle Russell's immediate nieces and nephew. I inserted them in the ground along the base of his headstone. My own cross with the message, I placed in front.  I felt that I am a great-niece and should be that one generation removed, hence my cross was not place right next to the headstone.  I inserted the Canadian flag on the left beside the headstone.  I pushed the stems of the red and white roses into the dirt on the right beside the headstone so they looked like fresh flowers in a vase.  Alice had brought along a beautiful candle in a red pillar holder with a gold metal top.  I lit the candle and placed it in front of everything else.  After all the various pictures were taken, I took a number of moments to sit and pray and "commune" with Uncle Russell.  How I wish I had been able to know him. I felt close to him at that moment.  With my throat tight, my eyes full of tears, it was time to go.  I was off to the Visitors' Centre at Holten Cemetery to meet a gentleman named Gert Jan van Holt who is attempting to collect pictures and the family story of each soldier that is buried in Holten Cemetery.  I met Mr. van Holt and have promised to write as full an account of Uncle Russell as I can.  Not so much his military movements, which my husband has researched, but more the personal, family background. After meeting Mr. van Holt, we toured the Visitors' Centre and watched a movie which was narrated by Mr. van Holt.

We ended our day with Alice and her husband by taking them out to dinner to a restaurant of their choice.  Alice is very involved with the Legion and has just joined the Canadian Legion in Holland as well.  She has been to this restaurant for meetings but had never been for dinner.  It was called Canadian Restaurant Mondani and is located in Lochem.  We enjoyed a lovely dinner and the food was excellent.  The two husbands had buffalo steak, Alice had Pacific Cedar Planked Salmon and I had a venison steak with Saskatoon berries.  It was all very good and we shared much laughter.  A new friendship has been born these last couple of days with Alice.

I can now put a big check mark beside "Trip to Holland" on my Cathy Conquered Cancer Living List.  It might be interesting to now do a trip from Normandy where Uncle Russell landed and travel in his footsteps up through Belgium into Holland. Hmmmm....I think I had better add this to my Living List.

Arrival in Holland

We arrived in Holland yesterday.  Our house (it is listed as a cottage but it is definitely a bungalow house) is located beside a conservation area.  We have neighbours on one side but the other three sides of the house are surrounded by woodland.  It is a haven of calm and peace.  The woodland surrounding us saw fighting in WWII.  Apparently, the trees still have shells in them and local people do not like cutting them down as it wrecks their chainsaw when the chainsaw hits a leftover bullet.


Last night we went for a brief walk in the woods just as dusk was settling in.  This morning we enjoyed our breakfast on a patio that surrounds three sides of the house.  The weather has been hot and humid...so hot that it was difficult to sleep last night.  It is so humid that you are immediately drenched just by sitting. Apparently, this is out of the ordinary for this region.  Anyway, this morning we were enjoying sitting and chatting after breakfast, when I heard rustling from the woods in front of us.  There was a young male buck (deer) ambling through the bush, grazing on the fronds of ferns that he came across.  I had my camera close by and managed (with the zoom setting) to get a beautiful shot of him.  He looked fit and his antlers were not very big yet which makes me assume he was young.  What a beautiful start to the day.


As I sat on the patio this morning, I could imagine the ghosts of soldiers flitting from tree to tree and quietly advancing through the forest.  My imagination was probably enhanced by the fact that we visited the Mook War Cemetery last night.  This is a Commonwealth cemetery and I felt a heaviness of heart as we looked at all the stones with the names, rank, age and regiment listed.  It is so sad to think that these men died so far from home and so alone.  The Dutch look after the graves so well.  There are lavender bushes at each end of the rows.  I couldn't help but think that lavender is used to help us rest well.  There are flower gardens all along the row of stones and are tended regularly as there are no weeds to be seen.  There was a guest book to sign.  I was so overcome with emotion that it was hard to put my thoughts into words.  I thanked "them" (the Dutch) for looking after our men so well.  This was especially important for me as I realized that none of these men have family nearby who would be able to come and visit regularly.  LEST WE FORGET.


This trip to the Netherlands is not just a vacation but an opportunity for me to be close to where my great-uncle battled and was killed in 1944.  I never knew him but my grandmother and my mother made sure I knew about him.  My mother and her brother do remember him.  I'm looking forward to seeing his grave, the memorial that is in place near where he died and the various museums in the area.  I'm not a huge history buff but I do feel emotional when I think of my great-uncle.  I must confess to feeling that my grandma, my great-grandma (who I did know) and my great-uncle are close with me in spirit.  I felt their closeness before I even left Canada.

Travelling Adventures

Vacations are always times to look forward to travelling and planning your trip.  Everything was planned out and we left the house to catch our flight to Toronto and then our connecting flight to Edinburgh.  The day we left, the sun had been shining all day but with storm warnings for later in the day.  As we arrived at our home airport, we discovered our flight was delayed 3 hours.  This mean we were going to miss our connecting flight to Edinburgh.  Air Canada was very good and booked us on a later flight from Toronto to Dublin, Ireland where we switched flights and flew from Dublin to Edinburgh.  Our original itinerary had us arriving in Edinburgh at 7:00 a.m. on Wed. July 9.  Our adjusted itinerary had us arrive in Edinburgh at 2:30 p.m.  We had also pre-booked and paid for our rental car so that we could just arrive and pick it up at 7:00 a.m. (our original itinerary).  When we actually arrived at the rental car desk, we discovered that they had given our car out to someone else....they only hold it for 3 hours despite cancellations and weather interruptions!!  After some discussion and scrambling (because they didn't have any small cars in the lot at all now), we ended up with a larger Mercedes Benz.  At this point we had been up for 30+ hours!  So we got the car, packed our luggage in and off we went.  My husband wanted to drop in on his uncle and aunt so we did that before going to the cottage that we had rented for our time in Scotland.  We had a lovely dinner with family and then made our way to our rental cottage.




My husband found the cottage online on a site where you can rent homes and cottages for days at a time.  I love this cottage.  It appears to have been built sometime in the late 19th century. I much prefer accommodations such as this to a hotel or even a bed and breakfast.  As I am at a stage in life of  not sleeping well through the night, the cottage affords me the luxury of being up and able to read in another room without bothering anyone else.  The cottage has a dishwasher, stove, modern double door fridge/freezer and a washer/dryer combination machine.  The backyard of the cottage has some lovely gardens along with a clothes line.  There is a rustic gazebo which gives a beautiful view across the fields.  There is also a large patio as well with loungers, a table and chairs and also an umbrella.  Beyond the back gate at the end of the garden path, there is a path that wanders throughout the woods and brings you to various campsites.  The inside of the cottage has the original wood floors and wood doors.  There is a wood/coal combination fireplace but we haven't needed to use it for heat at all.  There are also radiators throughout the cottage for heating during the colder weather.  The radiators' heat is provided by the fireplace as well.  If the fireplace is on and the doors are kept closed, this will cause the radiators to heat up.  If we keep the fireplace doors open, it will only heat the sitting room.  There is a space heater in the full bathroom to take the chill off the air during the night and early mornings.  So we have been very happy to call this our home base while in Scotland.




We've been to Edinburgh on the train and visited Holyrood Palace as well as the abbey ruins and the gardens.  We've been to Edinburgh before, so we did not visit Edinburgh Castle this time.  Instead we wandered The Royal Mile and enjoyed a pub lunch.  We always enjoy a visit to Princes Street Gardens.  It bring back memories for my husband of previous visits with his mother when he was young.  This visit, we sat on the grass and enjoyed watching young couples and families relax in the park.




About 2 months ago, we booked tickets to go on a 3 hour dinner cruise on The Firth of Forth.  What an enjoyable evening this was!!  The evening was very calm or as the captain told my husband "it was a cracker night".  Our dinner was barbecued beef on a bun with salad.  There was also a live Scottish folk band that played all night long.  Not only did we see some stunning views, we even recognized some of the tunes and we were able to sing along, clap our hands and enjoy the evening.  I would love to do that again sometime.  The company also offers a similar tour but with jazz music.


We went to The Falkirk Wheel the other day.  I had not heard about this before but it is an amazing feat of engineering which brings boats from the lower Forth/Clyde canals to the upper Union Canal that leads to Edinburgh.  There are many paths to walk and climb in the same area.  When we arrived, we bought our tickets for the next tour boat to go through the Falkirk Wheel.  Then we had time to go for a walk through the paths.  The skies looked threatening so we had our raincoats with us "just in case".  Good thing because as we were walking a mist started.  That was fine, we continued to walk along.  Then the mist turned to a drizzle so out came our raincoats.  But then the drizzle became a steady rain.  So we retraced our steps and went into the gift shop to wait for our boat ride.  It was enjoyable even if it was raining.  I forgot to mention that when we first arrived, we saw a swan with 5 cygnets (babies).  The cygnets were getting fairly large but they were still covered in their fine, fluffy and brown down.  The Falkirk Wheel runs on hydraulics and use the same electrical energy as 8 tea kettles.  My husband tried to explain to me how the wheel worked but I had trouble understanding it until I saw it in motion.  It is truly amazing!  The Falkirk Wheel spins on a central tube.  There are two chambers one on each end of the wheel where the boats are moored while the wheel moves them from one canal up or down to the other canal.  The boat chambers are also on rails with wheels so that they stay horizontal throughout the trip.  I thought for sure that the boats would feel some sideways movement from the water as the chamber slowly moves.  But there is no feeling of movement in the boat at all.  If you closed your eyes, you wouldn't even know that your boat was being turned around the wheel.  I really believe this must be seen in order to fully comprehend how it works.




Yesterday, we went for a drive up into the Highlands in order to see a second cousin on my dad's side.  When I was a child, I would see this lady with my parents fairly regularly as she and my father were more like brother and sister rather than cousins.  She moved to Scotland several years ago.  I called her up to see if she and her husband would like some visitors from Canada.  I hadn't seen her in over 30 years!!  We made the drive up towards Inverness.  I had forgotten how much I love the Highlands.  If I were to move to Scotland, I would live in the Highlands for sure.  In order to get to my cousin's home, we drove on major highways (4 lanes), two lane highways and highways (more like country roads) that were barely two lanes.  Some of these more remote roads had sheep that were grazing right beside the road and could even wander across the road.  We toured the Dallas Dhu Historic Distillery on our travels this day as well.  It's always nice to have a dram of whisky at the end of a tour.  We spent a lovely afternoon with my cousin and her husband.  It was a time of much laughter and very good food as we ate at The Mosset Tavern.  Much too soon, it was time to head south back to our cottage.  My heart was truly warmed and bursting with love as we finished our day.




Today, I believe we will head for St. Andrews and perhaps have another pub lunch there.  Every time I visit Scotland, I always feel like I have returned home.  My great-grandfather emigrated to Canada from Edinburgh when he was finished university.  It almost feels like his blood runs through my veins and when I visit Scotland, I really do feel a warmth and the comfort of returning home.  I always feel settled here.  I love the rural feel of Fife and north into the Highlands.  The area does remind me of the area of Ontario where my great-grandfather settled which was also where my grandparents lived.  I was even born in that area of Ontario.  It is very, very similar to Scotland.




In addition to visiting St. Andrews, we also want to make our way to Loch Lomond.  When we came to Scotland for our honeymoon many years ago, we visited Balloch and really enjoyed it.  We returned there on our last visit when we had our children with us.  It would be nice to make a trip to Balloch again before we leave to continue our travels.  This holiday is not overly scheduled and we have a list of wants that we are working through but at a leisurely pace.  We are also visiting with my husband's uncle and aunt on an almost nightly basis.  They are always such fun and again we leave their home with our hearts full.

And the Celebratons continue....

A dear friend of mine, who has accompanied through the highs and lows of the last decade, travelled with me to the Kitchener/Stratford area.  We decided back in the late winter that we would celebrate our decade birthdays together by attending the Stratford Festival.  We ordered our tickets back in March, made arrangements to stay with my brother and his wife in Kitchener and eagerly awaited the arrival of this past weekend.


What a glorious weekend it was!  The warmth of friendship made the drive very delightful as we travelled.  When we arrived at my brother's home, we were met by the joyous tail wagging bundle of energy called Maxi.  She is 11 years old but she still has the energy of a puppy.  Next to meet us was my sister-in-law with a huge smile on her face as she welcomed the weary travellers into her home.  This is what I love about my brother and sister-in-law.  They welcome friends and family into their home with grace, laughter and love.  My brother had met my friend once before about 10 years or so ago.  My sister-in-law had never met my friend but that didn't matter.  Her arms were open wide to receive us with all our belongings.  Due to my brother's work schedule, we didn't see him when we arrived.  Regardless of this ,my sister-in-law took us downstairs where we enjoyed some snacks, water and getting to know each other.  The television was on as we started watching an old movie with Errol Flynn and Maureen O'Hara.  I was so tired, I don't even remember the name of the movie!  And you know what?  The movie didn't matter.  What sticks in my memory is the warmth and love of friendship and family.  As my friend and I were quite tired (I was nodding off during the conversation and movie watching), we retired to our beds earlier than I normally would.


Saturday morning dawned nice and bright.  We three women again enjoyed each others' company as we had our cups of tea and coffee and then breakfast.  My friend and I then enjoyed a leisurely walk with Maxi around the neighbourhood.  We heard the birds singing, saw lots of other people walking or jogging with their dogs and children playing at the local playground.  All the happy sounds and bird songs made for a very relaxing start to the day.  Unfortunately, there was a phone call from my mom with some sad news.  A good family friend had passed on in the night from a heart attack. Outwardly, I continued on but inwardly, my heart was burdened.  This family friend was a man of great faith and I have no doubt that he is with his Saviour. He is also reunited with his own parents and his daughter who tragically died many years ago when she was in her early twenties. My heart has been aching for his widow although she will also be comforted with her own faith in Jesus. My prayers continue to be with this family. As I said, outwardly I continued on with my day. My friend and I drove to Stratford for the matinee showing of "King Lear" starring Colm Feore as King Lear.  As we arrived at the Festival Theatre with time to spare, we enjoyed a stroll alongside the Avon River and over the pedestrian bridge to the island and back.  We thoroughly enjoyed our time together and the show was spectacular. The time passed very quickly.  Then we hopped in the car and drove downtown to the Avon Theatre where we found parking.  A quick walk of a block or so and we were at our dinner destination which was The Annex Room.  I loved how our day was entwined with threads of affection, friendship and appreciation of the "finer things in life".  We enjoyed lots of conversation and laughter as we dined on some fabulous food.  Within, I had decided that I would not have dessert.  But....when the dessert options were listed from memory by our friendly waiter, I could not pass up my favourite dessert of crème brulee.  I have not found one that comes close to the crème brulee offered up at Chez Piggy but at The Annex Room it was just as good. This is a huge compliment!  My friend and I enjoyed our desserts (she had a trio of sorbets) along with cups of peppermint tea.  We did not feel rushed but our waiter was certainly unobtrusively attentive.  After our dinner, we made our way to the Avon Theatre.  We still had time so we browsed through the Theatre Store.  Then off we went to see "Man of La Mancha".  Again, it was a tremendous show.  Just before the first act ended, there was a scene that was so intense, it shot like an arrow right through to my core.  I felt anxiety, fear, and worry about the female lead.  What a well done job of acting and choreography.  As the lights went to black and then the house lights came up for intermission, I felt very unsettled.  I truly believe it is a true compliment to all who work on the or in the show that I would feel so deeply.


My friend and I were both weary and tired by the end of the day.  Thank goodness, my brother's home was only a 30 minute drive away.  As we drove down the highway through a rural area, we could see an orange glow to the right. Oh no....this is never a good thing to see in the country!  My heart plummeted.  Then I remembered that we had seen a controlled brush fire on the way to the Stratford Festival earlier in the day.  I've watched the internet for new regarding a barn fire but there's been nothing.  I hope it was only the brush fire which had raged out of control.  As we drove by, I could see the silhouette of the barn back lit by the flames.  There were fire trucks and personnel there battling the flames. My friend was driving, so I was able to see all this in an instant as we drove by. We arrived at my brother's home and again we were welcome with open arms, warm love and the excited wagging of Maxi's tail.  My brother was awake and it was the first time we saw him.  My friend had a cup of peppermint tea and I shared a glass of red wine with my brother and sister-in-law. It was an emotional day and I was glad it had started with the love of family and friends and then ended with the same positive warmth of love.


Yesterday, we all had a leisurely start to the morning. As we all arose at various times, we congregated on my brother's deck. It is a wonderful oasis of shade, birds and privacy. As we sat around my brother's patio table, we sipped on coffee and tea as well as just chattered and enjoyed some more warm fellowship. At one point, there was a chickadee hopping around the railing of the deck as we sat and admired him (or her?). Next we were visited by various sparrows. Nearby in the the neighbour's tree, a cardinal sang with a clear beautiful voice. We then decided to rouse ourselves from this beautiful location and go out for breakfast where we enjoyed more laughter and conversation.  The kernel of the idea of celebrating our birthdays by visiting the Stratford Festival, grew and popped into a full fluffy popcorn filled with love, appreciation and so much more than "just" going to a play or two.


My friend and I drove home feeling weary but I was filled with an inner joy and was sad to see the adventure end.  However, now I will be looking forward to the next adventure on the road of life.

"Companions on the Road"

My church has a theme this month called "Companions on the Road".  For me this has so many meanings!  Of course, there is the physical companions of family, friends and pets who always are there during our times of darkness and brightness, grieving and celebration.  As I thought about this, I realized that my memories and the essences of my deceased family members and childhood friends who I've lost contact with are always companions with me as I travel this journey through life.  Whenever I bake a pie, I truly feel my grandmother's presence as I mix the dough and work it.  I used to watch her when I was a child and she would get working the dough with her hands in her metal enamel-lined bowl.  Her essence travels beside me as I'm an adult and she is physically long gone from this world.  But as I work the pastry dough, she's there beside me, travelling with me.


I don't know if it is turning 50 this year, but I am missing my dad more than ever.  He died of lung cancer when I was 26.  I find his memory is at the fore of my thoughts as I go through each day.  Of course this happens every year on Father's Day but this year, my dad's essence has been with me constantly since just before the anniversary date of his death.  He's walking beside me and I am not alone.  Perhaps this is also God's way of reminding me that I am never alone.


I know that it is much easier to "feel" God's presence when I've had the rough times in life. But when life is going along with no particular bumps in the road, I find it more difficult to keep God close.  That's when I tend to take God for granted.  Just like we do our friends and acquaintances.  As I ponder why I'm being inundated with memories of friends from long ago, I realize that it may be because of the two anniversaries that I went to in April.  One for my Senior Public School and one for my church.  Again, I have "companions on the road" in the form of memories of a former ministers and even student ministers who obviously impacted me as I remember them many, many years later and wonder where they are now or are they even still alive.  Again, various companions that walked physically with me over the years and who may not even know how their lives intersecting with mine made such an impact.  Likewise, I've been remembering friends from my childhood.  I have reconnected with a high school friend in January and we keep in touch sporadically via email.  I also reconnected with another childhood friend from church in April.  I need to call her!  Just this week, I found another childhood friend who I haven't seen in 20 years!  We will be starting to reconnect through email.  These are all friends and people that I have fondly thought of over the years and wondered how we grew apart and lost touch.  Companions.  The warmth of friends, family and people we have known over the years is such a gift.


As we travel through life, we collect "things" and we work hard to afford "things".  In the process, we get caught up in working that we forget the importance and warmth of the intangible "things".  A life altering experience, such as illness or the death of a loved one, can make you change the priorities.  I find that now my focus is on maintaining relationships and enjoying each minute of my journey on this earth.  My challenge is to spend time with all my friends and family either in person or via the internet and spend time enjoying this beautiful planet that we live on.  Companions on the road.  I certainly enjoy this phrase literally with my husband and our friends that have motorcycles.  It is exciting to ride on the back and smell the fresh rain, the fishy smell as we pass by a lake, the smell of fresh cut hay in the country or the smell of somebody barbecuing their dinner as we ride by.


I think that God has provided us with memories and opportunities to meet people so that we have constant companions on our road through life.  Sometimes these companions are there for just a short time such as the lady that I met on our street when we first moved into our neighbourhood 13 years ago.  She invited my children and me to go for walks with her and her children.  She showed me around the neighbourhood.  She showed me where the library was.  She showed me the shortcuts to take to get to the mall.  She showed me the various parks and playgrounds for the children.  Then she  moved away.  She was my companion on my road which led to a new place where I'd never been.  I truly felt like God provided an opportunity for me.  I could choose to take it or ignore it.  In accepting an invitation to go for walks, I had a companion who assisted me on my own road of transition.


Do you have any "companions on the road" from your past who helped you then and maybe inadvertently help you now?

Celebrations!!

What a fantastic, full week it's been!  It all started off with Mother's Day on May 11 which was my last post.  Then I went to the Cancer Centre for my 6 month check up.  Great news!!!  I've graduated to check ups once a year now.  That was on May 14.  The next day, my husband took me on a holiday to Las Vegas to celebrate my 50th birthday!  I am not bothered by the number at all.  I am so happy that I've reached this age.  That I survived!  That I can continue to live life to the absolute fullest!  So off to Vegas we flew.  Now you must know by now from following my blog that I am at peace and feel as one with nature when I am surrounded by the soothing quiet of birds, water and nature.  My husband planned this trip along with our friends from around the corner.  Her birthday is five days before mine.  We celebrated our milestone birthdays together in Las Vegas.  We met up with them there.  In my mind, I was celebrating my continued good health as well as my birthday.


We arrived Thursday and got settled in.  We stayed at the Flamingo Hotel.  That night we went on the newest attraction in Las Vegas which is a huge ferris wheel called The High Roller.  Instead of seats, it has pods that are enclosed in Plexiglas and can hold up to 40 people.  The pods move very slowly.  From the ground when you look up at the top of The High Roller it looks like it isn't even moving.  But when you look at the pods closest to the ground, you can see them moving slowly.  Anyway, what a view of the Las Vegas strip!!!  From the top, you could see all the hotels and all the lights of the strip.  It was breath taking!!  On Friday, we met our friends for breakfast at the restaurant in the Flamingo.  This would become our habit as the food was very good and satisfying.  We had a quiet afternoon wandering the strip and playing some slots.  Then off we went to get ready for our birthday dinner at the Homestead Steakhouse in Caesar's Palace.  I normally wear jeans or pants but for this celebration I had decided back at home that I was going to get "dressed up".  So I wore a long skirt (that can handle the wrinkles from packing and not show them) along with a short sleeved jacket over a tank top.  I felt wonderful!!  The dinner was fantastic!  After our dinner, we made our way to Fremont Street.  The last time I was there, it was overly crowded and I had a bad experience.  I'm sure I blogged about it in August of 2012.  Anyway, on Friday night it was a much different experience and I fully enjoyed it.  There were buskers and outdoor band concerts.  My husband bought me and my friend gold bottles full of an alcoholic slushy.  It was very good on a warm night.  We thought it was fitting that the gold bottle fit our 50th birthday celebration.  I think I made it back to my hotel room at 1 a.m. where I fell into bed exhausted.  Only to be suddenly wakened by a loud fire alarm!  What a rude awakening!!  Thank goodness it was a false alarm.  Saturday was spent wandering the strip as we went in and out of the various hotels and shops.  Saturday night, we went to see Rod Stewart at The Colliseum in Caesar's Palace.  What a great show he put on!  We were pleasantly surprised considering he is 69 years young.


Sunday (the 18th) we went on a bus tour to the Hoover Dam and the south rim of The Grand Canyon. For me this was a highlight of the trip!  My husband and I decided to take the option of being dropped off at Mather's Point and we walked the 1 1/2 hour trip to Bright Angle Lodge where we met the bus to come back to Vegas.  I took tons of pictures in an effort to capture the magnificence of the view.  I never felt so close to God!  I will always cherish these memories of my visit to The Grand Canyon.  It was a long day as the shuttle to the bus picked us up at our hotel at 6:30 a.m. and then we were dropped off at 9:45 p.m.  I must say it was fantastic to see The Hoover Dam all lit up at night as we returned to Las Vegas.


On Monday, we visited The Bellagio Hotel and saw an amazing conservatory within the hotel that was full of flowers, ponds, and birds.  There was also a chocolate shop with a huge chocolate fountain that was at least 2 stories tall.  Monday night, we went for dinner at the Las Vegas Hotel (LVH) for dinner at Benihana and then we went to a musical called "Raiding The Rock Vault".  It was again a wonderful evening of food, entertainment and friendship as we shared this event with our friends.  We all really enjoyed the dinner and show at a very affordable $90 which included the dinner and show.


Our friends left on Tuesday.  My husband and I wandered The Miracle Mile Shops associate with Bally's Hotel.  Amazingly, with visiting and looking at all the stores, I didn't buy anything!  I was looking for some jewelry but nothing jumped out at me.  Tuesday evening, we went to Harrah's for dinner at Toby Keith's I Love This Bar.  After dinner we went to the show at Harrah's called "Defending The Caveman".  This was a hilarious one-man comedic play.  If ever you get to Las Vegas, you need to see this reasonably priced show.  It talks about and explains the differences between men and women and why we aren't the same.  My husband and I laughed quite hard.


We came home on Wednesday (21st).  Our children met us to take us home from Toronto and when they saw me, they ran and gave me a huge hug at the same time.  I felt so cherished and loved especially because our children are teenagers and young adults.  It really warmed my heart.  Our celebrations were not finished.  My husband surprised me with a dinner out with the family on Saturday night at one of my favourite restaurants.  It was an evening full of laughter and good food.


As I transition into being a parent of adults, I had my first instance of a shared story from my children that I knew nothing about.  Apparently when they were much younger, my son had some fun with his little sister by convincing her that there were fresh water sharks in the lake near our home.  This now explains why she was afraid to go swimming!  We all roared with laughter.


So life is great and full of blessings which are reasons to celebrate.  Bring on life to the fullest!

Mother's Day Weekend 2014

I had a wonderful Mother's Day Weekend.  My daughter has been busy in the last 2 weeks working backstage and preparing props for their high school musical "Grease".  This is one of my favourite musicals.  I have a "Grease" music book for piano which I bought when the film version with Olivia Newton John and John Travolta had first been released way back.  My daughter found the book which had long ago fallen apart and I had it rebound in a spiral binding.  I've been listening to her play the piano which fills my heart with joy.  So on Friday night, my husband and I went to the school for one of the performances.  Despite the uncomfortable folding chairs, I really enjoyed the performance.  My daughter's role was one of being backstage.  The actors performed very well.  Their singing voices and acting were amazing.  Not just teenage acting but there were several people who's charisma resonated out through the audience.  There was some very fine acting and singing.  Not forced singing or straying off key but legitimate fine vocal performances.  During the intermission, my husband bought me some carnations for Mother's Day which were being sold as a fundraiser for Multiple Sclerosis.  At the end of the show, I was wishing I had something to give my daughter in appreciation for her role in the production.  I gave her my carnations.  She was so appreciative and then generously gave one of them to her best friend who was also working backstage.  That was Friday night.


On Saturday, my church was holding a Mother's Day Tea and Silent Auction.  I had not signed up to volunteer at this event because I had thought I was going to be driving my daughter to an appointment during that time.  She announced on Friday night that she changed the appointment to another day.  This meant we could attend the Mother's Day Tea.  After a leisurely morning spent enjoying some coffee and breakfast on the patio while I watched the birds and squirrels play in the yard, my daughter, my son, my husband and I set off for the church.  What a transformation the organizer achieved at the church!!  We walked in and there were 15 card tables set up covered by lace and embroidered table cloths.  There was a fountain surrounded by flowers in the middle of the space.  At the entrance where tickets were being purchased and collected, there was a dispenser of limeade along with a tray of tiny shortbread discs.  We were all offered a little drink and biscuit as we found a table.  On the table was a plate of fancy finger sandwiches which reminded me of my grandmother as she used to make these in support of her local Women's Institute group.  We sat down and a server (volunteer from the church) came and asked us if we wanted orange pekoe or flavoured tea.  As a family, we chose the orange pekoe tea.  The server went away and we listened to students performing on the piano as nice background music to this beautiful atmosphere.  Our server came back with a pot of tea for our table.  She announced that spring salads would be forthcoming and we were to help ourselves to the enjoyment of the sandwiches.  What a really nice time I had with my family sitting, chatting and laughing together.  This doesn't happen often as our children are their own individuals with work schedules and busy social calendars.  The salads came and were thoroughly enjoyed.  After finishing her salad, my daughter waited for me to finish savouring my own salad and then asked if I would go and browse through the silent auction items with her.  We left my son and husband visiting with each other and off we went.  I know this is a small thing but it was one of those moments that creates wonderful, warm memories to hold us through the trials and cold moments of raising children.  I thoroughly enjoyed my time with my daughter.  When we came back to our table, my son asked if I would go up with him to look at the silent auction items.  Off I went with my grown son while in the background the soft piano music continued to play such soothing songs.  If I had a film version of this Mother's Day tea, it would be softly muted with filters but very bright and cheery.  This is how I remember my time at the tea.  My son saw an electric tea kettle at the silent auction and shyly asked if I would put a bid on it as he could use it in his first apartment in September.  I ended up not wining any of the bids but that was OK.  This was fundraiser for the church but more importantly for me, it was a time to reconnect with my family.  After the tea, we went home and my daughter went to play "Grease" music on the piano.  A little while later she asked me to play some of the music for her.  This then led to us playing some piano duets together.  What a balm and joy to my aching heart!!  My heart is still full a number of days later as I write this.  The best moments in time do not require money to be spent.  Just time spent enjoying each other doing something that we both enjoy is enough.  That was my Saturday and what a gift it was!


On Sunday which was Mother's Day, I awoke early and put on the coffee, emptied the dishwasher, put on a load of laundry and had a bowl of cereal so I could be ready for church.  I then went out to the patio to enjoy the warmth of the bright sun and watch the birds.  My husband, knowing I like to listen to Jigs and Reels with Danielle Butt on OZFM on Sunday mornings, brought out his IPad and tuned it in for me.  I hung up the laundry to dry outside and when it was time, I went off to church.  When I came home, my husband had a very nice lunch ready for me with soup, sandwiches and homemade rhubarb punch.  We ate and my children gave me a very sentimental Mother's Day card with their own additions.  Their own sentiments touched and added to my already overflowing full heart.  Needless to say, when this happens my eyes fill with tears that slowly overflow and roll down my cheeks.  It was a wonderful gift! Due to the busy week of rehearsals, performances and then a late-night cast/crew party, we excused my daughter from the next planned activity.  My son and husband took me golfing on a local Par 3 course.  I've had one golf lesson so far this year.  I had a great afternoon playing golf.  In the past, I could always throw the ball farther and straighter than I could hit it.  In the past, it was the norm for me to have holes where it would take me 10 to 15 shots to get the little white ball in the hole.  With just one lesson, I was able to keep up with my husband and son until I started to tire at the last few holes where once again I was back into the double digits.  I don't remember my score, but I do remember enjoying the warmth of the sun, the camaraderie between us, the birds and the sound of the running water as the little river was full.  My Mother's Day ended with my husband making me a prime rib dinner complete with Yorkshire pudding.  He even made a rhubarb lunar cake for the dessert.


This past Mother's Day weekend has provided me with many warm memories and moments worth hanging onto.  I will pull the memories out during difficult times like little precious gems.  At those times, I will handle them like rolling smooth stones in my hand.  I will admire the memories just like admiring those smooth stones.  Then I will tuck the memories back into my heart for the next time I want to cherish them.  I truly am blessed!

Blessings are the Clouds' Silver Linings

I can't believe a month has elapsed since I last posted!!  Where did the time go?  It's been a month of warm blessings and challenging times.  On April 5, my senior public school held their 50th Anniversary.  I attended with my husband and my brother and sister-in-law.  What a wonderful weekend this was!!  I saw old pictures from almost 40 years ago!  I saw acquaintances and friends that I had lost contact with.  It was absolutely wonderful to meet up with an old friend that I hadn't seen since 1989!!  We had lost contact with each other and to meet up again was such a source of warmth and love!  We've exchanged contact information and I'm hopeful that we will be able to stay connected over the miles.  It was a great day which brought back many memories.  The school hadn't really changed over the years and it didn't take long for me to find my bearings and remember the classrooms that were mine in those 2 years of Grades 7 and 8.  I even found a room that had the attendance records all the way from the beginning!  What a treasured visit this was.  After open house at the school, we went to a local restaurant for more connecting over dinner.  It was a fabulous day and as always, I had the warmth of my brother and sister-in-law's love as we stayed at their home.


The day after the school reunion, we went to visit my mom.  We started going through old toys and books in her basement.  What treasures we found!  I found a Children's Prayer Book that was given to me for Christmas from the church Sunday School in 1967!  My mom then mentioned that the church was celebrating it 60th Anniversary on April 27.  Hmmmm....I had just enjoyed a warm and fuzzy day at my old school, why not  make the trek to Kitchener again for my childhood church's anniversary!


Of course, in between these events there was the Easter too.  My son came home from university for Easter but had to return to his school for one last exam before coming home for the summer.  We enjoyed our Easter weekend with him and I was able to fuss and create a feast for 4 our Easter dinner.  He did return to school, wrote his exam and he is now back at home for the summer.  I am enjoying having my whole family under one roof again.


As the title of this post suggests, there have been some very challenging times in April as well.  My health is still really good.  The challenging times have been difficult.  Sometimes, I've been questioning God on why.  Why can't I have some long term peace in my home and around me?!  I've met the challenge of cancer and still relied on You.  I've continued my daily prayers and enjoyed the warmth of knowing You.  I've continued to praise, worship and be thankful for this world around me.  Why do You still send me so many challenges?!  As I've asked these questions of God, I've also realized that throughout these challenges my family is there beside me.  I am still surrounded by not only God's love but the love of family and friends.  These are the silver linings of the clouds or storms in my life at the moment.  And....not only have I been faced with some major challenges, but God has also given me many blessings.


Twice now, in April, my husband and I have gone for some motorcycle escapes in the surrounding areas.  They've been great fun and another way to enjoy God's world.  We were driving on a back county road when I heard a waterfall.  Over to my left was a  huge waterfall pouring down the rock face beside the road on my left.  All the snow melt was causing this rush of water.  It was beautiful!


This past weekend was the church anniversary.  I made the trek to Kitchener on my own as my son was helping a friend move from her apartment, my daughter was working and my husband was supervising the home front.  Once I had heard about the church anniversary, I had made contact with a lady that I used to sing in the church choir with.  I made arrangements for my sister and me to sing in the choir for the Anniversary service.  In that process, I was asked to provide some memories of my time at the church which I would present during the luncheon after the church service.  I agreed but then in the midst of the busyness of life, I forgot.  On Saturday night, I was at my brother's home and the phone rang.  It was the lady from the choir asking about my participation in the memory portion of the day.  OOPS!!!!  I had forgotten!  I agreed to do it and then promptly got a piece of paper from my brother so that I could write down some key points to jog my memory.  I have forgotten to mention too, that when I had been home and going through my mom's basement, I had come across an old mobile that she had hanging there.  It was a mobile I had made when I was a child of 6 or 7 (I think).  My memory isn't that clear of the age.  Anyway, the Anniversary service was very special as my sister and I sang in the choir just like we did as teenagers.  There were a few choir members from those years and we met many new choir members who opened their ranks and allowed us to join in.  The anthem and the hymns spoke to my heart!  I felt the warmth of the Holy Spirit as I sang.  As I looked out over the congregation, I recognized people from my childhood.  What a special day it was!  My mom, my siblings and their families took up a whole pew.  It was so nice to be together for the day.  After the service, there was the luncheon and then the sharing of memories.  I made sure that I ended my contribution with heartfelt thanks for the support of my church family from afar when they sent me the prayer shawl while I was going through chemotherapy.  The church building has been there for 60 years, but the church is more than just the physical building.  The church really is the caring human beings who taught me that the building is God's house and as such we can laugh, cry, grieve, disagree and learn that it's OK to agree to disagree and move on in love just like we do in our friends' and families' homes.  My childhood church truly did give me that foundation that God likes to hear us laugh in His home.  God is very much willing to comfort us as we grieve and cry in Her home.


My challenges are still very much here but the silver linings of these storms are definitely the blessings of reconnecting with old friends and having the support of my extended family and church families.  Despite the current storms, life continues to be great!  I pray each day that God will see me through these challenges.


As I write this, I am also getting ready for a fundraiser this weekend for my Relay For Life team.  Each year it is harder and harder to raise the funds.  The first year as I entered the team while I was still in chemotherapy and many friends and family donated.  As I remain in remission and the duration since my illness lengthens, it is more difficult to reach the same monetary goal that was reached in that first year.  I would ask that you please consider donating using the following link to help us reach our goal.  The money goes towards research which gives more people fighting cancer the opportunity to  beat this terrible disease.  The money raised also helps run support programs for cancer patients and their caregivers.  The link is as follows: http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR?pg=team&fr_id=14852&team_id=308559