I have been waiting for an appointment for my chest CT scan. The hospital called the other day and I'm scheduled to have it on June 4 (Monday). Then I will continue to wait for my oncologist appointment to get the results and also at the same appointment have blood work done and a check up in preparation for my upcoming Rituxan maintenance chemo.
Since my last post, I enjoyed a celebratory evening out with my fellow "Grace Notes". These are a couple of friends that I make music with. We performed together back in April and had decided that we would have an evening out together to celebrate our performance. We went out for dinner and then to The Thousand Islands Playhouse see Shakespeare's "The Tempest" which was performed by a local theatre group called The Kings Town Players. A mutual friend of "The Grace Notes" played the lead role. We thoroughly enjoyed our evening.
I have continued to take advantage of the warm, sunny weather to play in my gardens. I have planted my beans, beets and tomato plants in the vegetable garden. I have also planted some kale in containers on my patio. I weeded another section of my flower garden by the patio and transplanted 2 cucumber plants and another tomato plant in that area. I have a garden area that I have kept as a herb garden and also I have asparagus growing in that section. Unfortunately, my sage did not weather the winter well this year. So the other day, I went at it and cut it back. I have hope that it will grow again as there were some green live spots in it.
My asparagus and my rhubarb have been growing well. I am the only one in the house to like asparagus but I do try to cook it differently in an effort to tempt my hubby's (and son's) taste buds. They seemed to like last night's creation which was very simply asparagus laid across the grill on the BBQ. Then I served it with butter, salt and pepper. My rhubarb is very prolific this year and I have made more concentrate to add to my water as well as rhubarb loaf, rhubarb cake and rhubarb crisp. Hubby's preferences so far is my rhubarb custard pie, the rhubarb moon cake, rhubarb crisp and then the rhubarb loaf.
I am looking forward to my son's graduation from university next week and also a visit with my father-in-law. In the midst of all this, there will be the CT scan, a regularly scheduled mammogram and my continued vaccinations.
Hubby and I continue to get out on the motorcycle as much as we can. I am not losing weight and I am feeling good. I love listening to the birds while I sit on my patio in the early mornings and after supper. It is so peaceful and also entertaining to watch the mother birds teach and feed the fledglings that have just left the nest. We have a pair of cardinals that regularly visit our bird feeder. This year we also have a couple of house finches that have been regular visitors so far.
Do I worry about my health? Yes. It is always there in the back of my mind but it is no longer in the forefront. I am now at a point where I am enjoying my yard, my family and my friends. I'm off now to go for a walk with my best friend. Then I will help her divide some hostas and move them around. I also intend to visit another friend's booth at the local farmer's market. If there is time in the late afternoon or this evening, I will cut the grass. If not, I will do it tomorrow. My energy is good. If I do too much, then it takes me a couple of days to recover. So I just try to pace myself.
Wednesday 30 May 2018
Saturday 19 May 2018
Living Life to the Fullest
After weeks of uncertainty and continued waiting and watching, I have finally managed to put the uncertainty to the side and enjoy living again. It probably helps that Spring seems to finally have arrived. I've always enjoyed the simple act of hanging my laundry outside on my laundry line. The morning sun warms up my patio which is sheltered and faces east. When I hang my laundry outside in the mornings, the sun feels absolutely wonderful as it warms me up. As I pin the laundry on the line, I see and hear the yellow finches, blue jays, cardinals, chickadees and grackles. I find the bird songs very soothing and they bring a smile to my face. Some mornings I even hear the local chipmunk scold me as I work on my patio.
I've also been enjoying the warmer weather by digging in my flower garden around my patio. There used to be grape vines around the patio which gave us privacy. I used to pick the grapes in the Fall and make juice and jam with them. However, I pulled the grape vines out several years ago because I wasn't using the grapes and it was a bit of a mess. On the east side of the patio (front of the patio), there was still ground cover (periwinkle/vinca) and an aggressive plant that has purple bell-like flowers. Last Fall I decided that I wanted to pull out all of those plants and put in some hydrangea bushes. I started at the beginning of May to dig out and rip out the roots of these various plants that I no longer wanted. I wanted a fresh slate to work with in that flower bed. It has been hard work and very tiring. I can only work at it for about 20-30 minutes and then I need to rest for about 30 minutes. Early this week, I transplanted a couple of small hydrangea from another area of my garden into this east bed by my patio. I hope they take and thrive but if not, I'll dig them up and buy a couple of hydrangea to put in their place. Also earlier this week, I planted some beets and green beans in my vegetable garden. Timing for that was perfect as the next day we had a soaking rain that will help the seeds grow. On Thursday, I bought a new hydrangea bush to put in the last spot of my garden when I have finished ripping out the old plants. Yesterday morning, I finished ripping out the last bit of plants and roots. The new hydrangea went in and my hope is that the rain today will help it to take root.
The act of ripping out the plants and roots in my garden has been very therapeutic. There's such an irony and parallel to my health situation. How I wish that I could just go in and rip out the enlarged and growing spots that we all believe are some lymph nodes. If only I could dig them out, rip out the roots and keep it from growing back. At this point in time, this can't happen. The doctors have deemed it too risky for me. So there I have been, ripping and digging in my garden in the same manner I wish I could do to myself. Like I said, this has been very satisfying and therapeutic. Working with the sun on my back and listening to the birds while I work has been enjoyable. It was very satisfying yesterday to dig out and pull out the last of the roots. I'm very happy with how my flower bed is now looking. Let's hope the two small hydrangeas will take and grow. As of yesterday afternoon, there were a couple of green little leaves at the base of each plant so I'm hopeful.
For the last couple of weeks, I have been thoroughly enjoying my asparagus and my rhubarb that grow in my gardens. I love this time of year when the new growth appears and I can hardly contain myself as I wait to get the first taste of my garden. I love both asparagus and rhubarb. Last week, I made my rhubarb cake which didn't last long in our house. This may explain why I have been gaining weight as I have not denied myself the pleasure of my rhubarb in its various forms. I've been eating stewed rhubarb, rhubarb infused water and my first rhubarb custard pie of the season. The rhubarb custard pie is Hubby's favourite. Unfortunately, with me being at home, I was tempted and indulged that temptation by eating his pie. I'll just have to make another one in this coming week.
This is my birthday weekend and Hubby always takes me away on the motorcycle for the weekend. On Thursday night, he had cut the grass in the front yard. I know his plan was to cut the grass in the back yard on Monday when we arrive back home. He has been such a huge support and rock for me throughout this last year. So I decided to make his life a little easier and cut the grass in the back yard yesterday morning after working in the garden. I really struggled to finish cutting the grass. I was to meet Hubby for lunch and when he saw me, he knew that I was exhausted. I must admit that I did too much yesterday morning. I was very sore and slow moving for the rest of the day.
I must back up and mention a birthday celebration I had with my best friend on Wednesday night. For several years, we have been celebrating our birthdays together as they are within a week of each other. She hosted our birthday celebration and I supplied the dessert. I made my grandmother's pecan pie which served topped with a scoop of butterscotch ice cream with a drizzle of Cabot Trail (a maple cream liqueur). My best friend created a lovely menu with a Hawaiian theme. We had a great time!
As I read what I have written, I think that I have every reason to be tired this weekend. I must admit that as I climbed on the back of the motorcycle yesterday, my muscles were very sore. Hubby planned our weekend away and we rode for 2 hours straight to our destination. When we stopped at the park on the St. Lawrence River, I warned Hubby that this was not going to be a graceful dismount for me. Normally I can climb on and off the bike without making it wobble too much. I always keep my weight centered so it is easier for Hubby to hold the bike upright. Not early last night. I was stiff, sore and very unsteady as I climbed off the bike. Hubby really did feel the bike wobble back and forth. We both wandered around the park briefly as we stretched out our muscles. Hubby then told me to get back on the bike and off we went to our rental accommodations for the weekend. It is a lovely little home. Although it is in the village, we feel secluded by the fence, trees and shrubbery that surround the house. There are several bird houses around and lots of bird traffic.
I packed lightly for this trip due to lack of space in the bike. As a result, it did not take long to unpack and settle into our accommodations. Our hostess was so kind! She left a little container of home made cupcakes for our enjoyment. She also left us some fresh eggs and some milk for our use. After exploring our home for the weekend, we put together a small grocery list and went for a walk to the local inn for a pub dinner. On the way, we shared our memories of coming to this village for my obstetrician appointments 24 and 21 years ago. There has been some growth in the size of the local plaza in that time. At the inn, Hubby and I both had fish and chips. Hubby had a local craft beer called Rurban and I had a Guinness. After dinner, we walked to the plaza and Hubby bought some beer for the weekend and we bought some groceries for our weekend.
Last night, we expected today to be a very wet and rainy day. Our plans were to just hunker down in our "home" and read. This morning I awoke at 5:30 to see the sun shining and the birds singing. Of course, I had to turn on the television and watch the wedding of Prince Harry and Megan Markle. When Hubby woke up about an hour later, he joined me and we watched the wedding. Then Hubby made me a lovely breakfast. The sun was still shining so we decided to go hunt for some geocaches in the village. We walked about 2 to 3 miles by the time we arrived back to our "home". We found 3 of the 4 geocaches that we decided to look for. The village seemed to be having a "Garage Sale Day" throughout. There were many garage sales including one at the local Anglican church. Just as we approached the last of the geocaches, the rain drops started to fall sporadically. Our thoughts were that if we got soaked, we would just throw our clothes in the dryer that is at the house. We found the last geocache and then walked back to the park on the St. Lawrence River. We decided to have our lunch at the food truck there. The rain had stopped so we ate our lunch at the picnic tables that overlooked the river. The temperature dropped and the wind definitely was colder than when we started out this morning. Our first geocache that we found this morning was in this park. I found it somehow satisfying that we ended our long walk in this same park while we enjoyed our lunch. Just as we walked up the driveway to our accommodations, the rain drops started to fall again. The rest of the afternoon has had a steady rain. Hubby watched the Toronto Blue Jays game while I had an afternoon nap. As I write this, the Jays have lost their game 5-4. Hubby is now having a nap. We will have a steak dinner. Hubby will barbecue the steaks and the potatoes on the supplied propane barbecue and I will cook up the two cobs of corn that we bought at the local grocery store.
As I finish up this long post, I am enjoying a hot cup of earl grey tea. I mentioned to Hubby this morning that by digging in the garden and thoroughly enjoying the outdoors this past week, I have finally managed to put aside the uncertainty and fear of my health situation. Hubby and I are living life fully with no regrets. I did have a pulmonary function test on Tuesday. This was to test my breathing and lung function. I had one at the beginning of October 2017 in preparation for my stem cell transplant. This time, I did notice that I was coughing at the end of each phase of the test. I am still waiting for the chest CT scan appointment to be booked. My hope is that I will continue to enjoy each day and this beautiful warm weather. The all encompassing beauty of nature has always been a balm to my soul. Spending time with my friends and family is also a healing salve that helps me enjoy life fully each day. I have a busy social calendar again this coming week but in the meantime, I am enjoying my birthday weekend away. I believe tomorrow and Monday will be sunny days so I expect that we will hop on the bike and explore the surrounding area while we hunt for geocaches. Carpe Diem....truly.
I've also been enjoying the warmer weather by digging in my flower garden around my patio. There used to be grape vines around the patio which gave us privacy. I used to pick the grapes in the Fall and make juice and jam with them. However, I pulled the grape vines out several years ago because I wasn't using the grapes and it was a bit of a mess. On the east side of the patio (front of the patio), there was still ground cover (periwinkle/vinca) and an aggressive plant that has purple bell-like flowers. Last Fall I decided that I wanted to pull out all of those plants and put in some hydrangea bushes. I started at the beginning of May to dig out and rip out the roots of these various plants that I no longer wanted. I wanted a fresh slate to work with in that flower bed. It has been hard work and very tiring. I can only work at it for about 20-30 minutes and then I need to rest for about 30 minutes. Early this week, I transplanted a couple of small hydrangea from another area of my garden into this east bed by my patio. I hope they take and thrive but if not, I'll dig them up and buy a couple of hydrangea to put in their place. Also earlier this week, I planted some beets and green beans in my vegetable garden. Timing for that was perfect as the next day we had a soaking rain that will help the seeds grow. On Thursday, I bought a new hydrangea bush to put in the last spot of my garden when I have finished ripping out the old plants. Yesterday morning, I finished ripping out the last bit of plants and roots. The new hydrangea went in and my hope is that the rain today will help it to take root.
The act of ripping out the plants and roots in my garden has been very therapeutic. There's such an irony and parallel to my health situation. How I wish that I could just go in and rip out the enlarged and growing spots that we all believe are some lymph nodes. If only I could dig them out, rip out the roots and keep it from growing back. At this point in time, this can't happen. The doctors have deemed it too risky for me. So there I have been, ripping and digging in my garden in the same manner I wish I could do to myself. Like I said, this has been very satisfying and therapeutic. Working with the sun on my back and listening to the birds while I work has been enjoyable. It was very satisfying yesterday to dig out and pull out the last of the roots. I'm very happy with how my flower bed is now looking. Let's hope the two small hydrangeas will take and grow. As of yesterday afternoon, there were a couple of green little leaves at the base of each plant so I'm hopeful.
For the last couple of weeks, I have been thoroughly enjoying my asparagus and my rhubarb that grow in my gardens. I love this time of year when the new growth appears and I can hardly contain myself as I wait to get the first taste of my garden. I love both asparagus and rhubarb. Last week, I made my rhubarb cake which didn't last long in our house. This may explain why I have been gaining weight as I have not denied myself the pleasure of my rhubarb in its various forms. I've been eating stewed rhubarb, rhubarb infused water and my first rhubarb custard pie of the season. The rhubarb custard pie is Hubby's favourite. Unfortunately, with me being at home, I was tempted and indulged that temptation by eating his pie. I'll just have to make another one in this coming week.
This is my birthday weekend and Hubby always takes me away on the motorcycle for the weekend. On Thursday night, he had cut the grass in the front yard. I know his plan was to cut the grass in the back yard on Monday when we arrive back home. He has been such a huge support and rock for me throughout this last year. So I decided to make his life a little easier and cut the grass in the back yard yesterday morning after working in the garden. I really struggled to finish cutting the grass. I was to meet Hubby for lunch and when he saw me, he knew that I was exhausted. I must admit that I did too much yesterday morning. I was very sore and slow moving for the rest of the day.
I must back up and mention a birthday celebration I had with my best friend on Wednesday night. For several years, we have been celebrating our birthdays together as they are within a week of each other. She hosted our birthday celebration and I supplied the dessert. I made my grandmother's pecan pie which served topped with a scoop of butterscotch ice cream with a drizzle of Cabot Trail (a maple cream liqueur). My best friend created a lovely menu with a Hawaiian theme. We had a great time!
As I read what I have written, I think that I have every reason to be tired this weekend. I must admit that as I climbed on the back of the motorcycle yesterday, my muscles were very sore. Hubby planned our weekend away and we rode for 2 hours straight to our destination. When we stopped at the park on the St. Lawrence River, I warned Hubby that this was not going to be a graceful dismount for me. Normally I can climb on and off the bike without making it wobble too much. I always keep my weight centered so it is easier for Hubby to hold the bike upright. Not early last night. I was stiff, sore and very unsteady as I climbed off the bike. Hubby really did feel the bike wobble back and forth. We both wandered around the park briefly as we stretched out our muscles. Hubby then told me to get back on the bike and off we went to our rental accommodations for the weekend. It is a lovely little home. Although it is in the village, we feel secluded by the fence, trees and shrubbery that surround the house. There are several bird houses around and lots of bird traffic.
I packed lightly for this trip due to lack of space in the bike. As a result, it did not take long to unpack and settle into our accommodations. Our hostess was so kind! She left a little container of home made cupcakes for our enjoyment. She also left us some fresh eggs and some milk for our use. After exploring our home for the weekend, we put together a small grocery list and went for a walk to the local inn for a pub dinner. On the way, we shared our memories of coming to this village for my obstetrician appointments 24 and 21 years ago. There has been some growth in the size of the local plaza in that time. At the inn, Hubby and I both had fish and chips. Hubby had a local craft beer called Rurban and I had a Guinness. After dinner, we walked to the plaza and Hubby bought some beer for the weekend and we bought some groceries for our weekend.
Last night, we expected today to be a very wet and rainy day. Our plans were to just hunker down in our "home" and read. This morning I awoke at 5:30 to see the sun shining and the birds singing. Of course, I had to turn on the television and watch the wedding of Prince Harry and Megan Markle. When Hubby woke up about an hour later, he joined me and we watched the wedding. Then Hubby made me a lovely breakfast. The sun was still shining so we decided to go hunt for some geocaches in the village. We walked about 2 to 3 miles by the time we arrived back to our "home". We found 3 of the 4 geocaches that we decided to look for. The village seemed to be having a "Garage Sale Day" throughout. There were many garage sales including one at the local Anglican church. Just as we approached the last of the geocaches, the rain drops started to fall sporadically. Our thoughts were that if we got soaked, we would just throw our clothes in the dryer that is at the house. We found the last geocache and then walked back to the park on the St. Lawrence River. We decided to have our lunch at the food truck there. The rain had stopped so we ate our lunch at the picnic tables that overlooked the river. The temperature dropped and the wind definitely was colder than when we started out this morning. Our first geocache that we found this morning was in this park. I found it somehow satisfying that we ended our long walk in this same park while we enjoyed our lunch. Just as we walked up the driveway to our accommodations, the rain drops started to fall again. The rest of the afternoon has had a steady rain. Hubby watched the Toronto Blue Jays game while I had an afternoon nap. As I write this, the Jays have lost their game 5-4. Hubby is now having a nap. We will have a steak dinner. Hubby will barbecue the steaks and the potatoes on the supplied propane barbecue and I will cook up the two cobs of corn that we bought at the local grocery store.
As I finish up this long post, I am enjoying a hot cup of earl grey tea. I mentioned to Hubby this morning that by digging in the garden and thoroughly enjoying the outdoors this past week, I have finally managed to put aside the uncertainty and fear of my health situation. Hubby and I are living life fully with no regrets. I did have a pulmonary function test on Tuesday. This was to test my breathing and lung function. I had one at the beginning of October 2017 in preparation for my stem cell transplant. This time, I did notice that I was coughing at the end of each phase of the test. I am still waiting for the chest CT scan appointment to be booked. My hope is that I will continue to enjoy each day and this beautiful warm weather. The all encompassing beauty of nature has always been a balm to my soul. Spending time with my friends and family is also a healing salve that helps me enjoy life fully each day. I have a busy social calendar again this coming week but in the meantime, I am enjoying my birthday weekend away. I believe tomorrow and Monday will be sunny days so I expect that we will hop on the bike and explore the surrounding area while we hunt for geocaches. Carpe Diem....truly.
Saturday 5 May 2018
CT Results and Next Steps
I had my appointment with my oncologist on Wednesday, May 2. The results of my abdominal CT scan on April 25 shows that "The Spot" in the right side of my abdomen has grown. It still is not going to be accessible for a biopsy. The CT scan also showed I have a new spot in the left side of my abdomen. It is too small to get a biopsy yet so we are still in the "Watch and Wait" mode. Once this spot on the left side is big enough, the radiologist believes he/she will be able to access it by going through my back with an IVR (guided needle using ultrasound/CT technology) to get the biopsy. However this spot needs to get bigger before this can be done.
Physically, I am feeling good for the most part. I am feeling very tired and I am breathless with very little exertion. This concerns my doctor so he has ordered a chest CT scan for me. I am currently waiting for the notification of that appointment. In the meantime, I continue to live life fully and as completely as I can. I had a great visit with a friend of mine on Friday morning. I am enjoying doing errands such as grocery shopping. Today an old friend of mine, from out of town, dropped by for a visit. This afternoon, Hubby and I went out on the motorcycle for the first time this season. We rode along some of our favourite backroads and visited Westport before returning home. Tonight, we're having our best friends (couple) over for the evening. I made a goat cheese, avocado and bacon dip for the chips as well as a jug of white wine sangria for my friend and I to share. The temperature has been dropping as the afternoon goes on, but I am determined to have our first little campfire tonight. I've warned our friends to dress warmly. Life is too short and I'm determined to enjoy my favourite things right now.
Although I received disappointing and worrisome news about my health this past week, I will enjoy the warmer weather now. I will continue to fully live in the moment and fill my life with my favourite activities. I will surround myself with the warmth and love of friends and family. I will be digging in my gardens and sitting on the patio reading my books. I will do all these things until I am physically unable to. I believe that my physical health will not deteriorate so quickly that I can not enjoy my summer.
I continue to fund raise for the Relay for Life which will be held June 22. If you wish to donate click on the following link.
http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL_ON_even_?px=4345136&pg=personal&fr_id=23710
Physically, I am feeling good for the most part. I am feeling very tired and I am breathless with very little exertion. This concerns my doctor so he has ordered a chest CT scan for me. I am currently waiting for the notification of that appointment. In the meantime, I continue to live life fully and as completely as I can. I had a great visit with a friend of mine on Friday morning. I am enjoying doing errands such as grocery shopping. Today an old friend of mine, from out of town, dropped by for a visit. This afternoon, Hubby and I went out on the motorcycle for the first time this season. We rode along some of our favourite backroads and visited Westport before returning home. Tonight, we're having our best friends (couple) over for the evening. I made a goat cheese, avocado and bacon dip for the chips as well as a jug of white wine sangria for my friend and I to share. The temperature has been dropping as the afternoon goes on, but I am determined to have our first little campfire tonight. I've warned our friends to dress warmly. Life is too short and I'm determined to enjoy my favourite things right now.
Although I received disappointing and worrisome news about my health this past week, I will enjoy the warmer weather now. I will continue to fully live in the moment and fill my life with my favourite activities. I will surround myself with the warmth and love of friends and family. I will be digging in my gardens and sitting on the patio reading my books. I will do all these things until I am physically unable to. I believe that my physical health will not deteriorate so quickly that I can not enjoy my summer.
I continue to fund raise for the Relay for Life which will be held June 22. If you wish to donate click on the following link.
http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL_ON_even_?px=4345136&pg=personal&fr_id=23710
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