I find it interesting to see how my outlook and mood has changed in the last month. Despite how Advent has been difficult in years past due to health issues and dealing with the grief associated with the loss of family members and my employment capabilities, I still find Advent a time of comfort and uplifted spirits. I have learned that we can experience the hope, peace, joy and love of the Advent season while at the same time experiencing heavy burdens.
This year, as I mentioned in my last post, I have been praying for several friends and acquaintances who are struggling with their own health issues. I have struggled with my own emotions as I am reminded of my health journeys during past Decembers. I have been experiencing grief for those who have passed away recently. As I've mentioned in the past, it is easy to turn away or forget about God during the good times. It is in the dark times that I find myself walking closer to God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit. As I have been grieving and feeling down myself, I found myself turning to my favourite Psalm that has been there for me since I was 10 years old! Psalm 31: 1-5 really spoke to me again this year.
"In you, Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness. Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me. Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. Keep me free from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hands I commit my spirit; deliver me, Lord, my faithful God."
This passage gave me a great deal of comfort and I felt safe during this Covid-19 pandemic as numbers of cases has climbed and I have been confined to my house. I no longer help with any of the grocery shopping. I was feeling useless as I watched Hubby work long hours and then take on all the shopping as well. The above passage has been my prayer and I truly believe it has been answered. I have been knitting for the homeless. It makes me feel useful, productive and lifts my spirits ("Keep me free from the trap that is set for me"). I have continued reading to my elderly friend over the telephone. As he was struggling with his own situation, I made arrangements to meet him outside his home. I wore my mask and stood 12 feet away with jingle bells attached to my left hand. I sang his favourite Christmas carols to him. I sang some fun Christmas songs to him. His smile and enjoyment lifted my own spirits. I followed the advice "Into your hands I commit my spirit; deliver me, Lord, my faithful God." I was delivered! I felt so happy and joyful during a depressing time!
As I thumbed through my bible looking for inspiration to help support my various friends, I came across a couple of passages that really spoke to me. Isaiah 41 v. 10 was the first passage I found. My eyes were drawn to it repeatedly. To me, it spoke directly about circumstances when cancer was ravaging my body in the past and the fear of its eventual return. "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I interpreted this passage to mean that my cancer (or my friends' cancers) will not be removed but that God will strengthen me and be right by my side as I go through whatever rigours will happen in the future. My emotions, my mind and my body will be held and comforted.
I mentioned another passage that I found. It is on the same page of my bible but is Isaiah 40: 29-31. "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Again, I find this passage reinforces that as I (or my friends/acquaintances) go through the ravages of a disease or end of life, God will give us strength to meet our challenges. Will I grow weary and disgruntled with my "lot in life". Probably. But....when I stumble with weariness and get physically weak, emotionally weak, and psychologically weak, I can turn to my faith in God to support me and help me be strong enough. Strong enough mentally to lay in weakness and be comforted by His or Her presence. Strong enough to soar mentally like eagles...lifting me out of my doldrums. This Advent season, my spirits have been lifted and they are soaring. God has blessed me with the upcoming addition of a new daughter (in-law). This addition may not happen for a couple of years and probably depends on the fallout of Covid-19 but I have something else to look forward to. And I am looking forward to it!! I am so excited!! I already love this young woman and this love will only deepen as time passes and we get to know her even better.
Hope......Peace.....Joy.....Love....these are definitely evident to me as Advent has progressed and Christmas is not just a couple of days away. It will be a different event here as with many other families and individuals. But for me, God has helped me to anticipate with eagerness and peacefulness the coming celebration of Jesus' birth. I definitely feel the strength and support of God. And as I have acted on the urging of The Holy Spirit, I have been blessed with hope for the future, peace of mind, a deep-seated joy in my being and love. So Merry Christmas and I really do mean "Merry" even in the midst of Covid-19. May you all feel a sense of peace in the quiet darkness.
