Today was my last day of taking my 100 mg of prednisone. Thank goodness!! I'm so tired from having sleepless nights due to the prednisone. The oral thrush decided to take up residence again so I'm taking my Nystatin again. This medication really makes me feel nauseous even though I take it after eating my meals.
I did go to the chiropractor this afternoon in order to keep on top of the constipation that wants to make itself known. Just that errand was enough to knock me down. I've been cold ever since I got home. I'm wrapped up in 2 afghans, a hoodie and a warm touque which a friend crocheted for me. My cat is also laying on my lap as he seems to know when I'm not feeling well.
A friend from church came by with supper tonight. I couldn't even get the energy to meet her at the door. My son was so helpful. He answered the door, took the food, set the table and served us all. Then he cleaned up everything too. I know that I've said this before, but my family and friends in town are truly God's angels and are helping to keep me in their warm care.
I know that I only have about 5 or 6 more days of feeling poorly. Then I'll be on the upswing for good. This is what is getting me through the low that I'm currently in.
Monday, 30 April 2012
Sunday, 29 April 2012
Day 4 - 6th Chemo Cycle - Quinoa Salad Recipe to fight Thrush
Last night I had trouble going back to sleep after taking my ondansetron (anti-nausea medication) at 1:30 a.m. I tossed and turned as I couldn't shut my brain off. This is the side effect of the prednisone. It gives lots of energy and creates insomnia. On top of that I was plagued with night sweats again. While I couldn't sleep, I was pondering what sort of foods I could eat that wouldn't encourage the growth of thrush (oral yeast infection). So far I've been able to keep the thrush at bay. I discovered that if I drink water with lemon juice, it helps to stop the thrush from progressing.
I found out in my fifth chemo cycle that eating fresh strawberries and cantaloupe help deter the yeast from growing. I read on Friday (2 days ago) that apple cider vinegar is better for preventing thrush and that other vinegars actually encourage the yeast to grow. On Friday, I also read that milk (the lactose sugar) encourages the yeast to grow but that no-fat unsweetened yogurt is full of the good bacteria that combat thrush. Since thrush showed up in my 4th chemo cycle, I've learned that tomatoes, carrots, ginger, garlic, onions, celery, peeled cucumbers, green peppers, apples in small amounts are all good to eat and don't add to the thrush. All this information was swimming in my brain while I couldn't sleep last night. So the next step in my reasoning was, "What kind of salad dressing can I make?". Most salad dressings contain the vinegars that encourage the thrush to grow. So I had a whole conversation with myself mentally. "Why not mix together some plain no-fat unsweetened yogurt with apple cider vinegar?" "But will that cause the yogurt to separate?" "What spices can be added?" "Sugar can't be added." "So let's see....apple cider vinegar originally has apples which makes cinnamon a possibility." "Then what about cardamom? This is an eastern spice that is used in sweet things....like apple pie?" "Since there could be celery in the salad what about celery seed in the dressing?"
Then I thought about eating a quinoa salad. Quinoa is a grain that is grown in South America and is full of protein, lowers cholestrol and is not heavy on the stomach. It is cooked like rice and then can be used in a cold salad just like rice. So as I couldn't sleep, I thought about what vegetables I could mix into the quinoa salad.
Finally I fell asleep. Much too early, it was time to get up and have breakfast so that I could take my prednisone so it doesn't affect my sleep at night too much. I had my breakfast and went back to bed. I fell asleep immediately and then woke up late in order to take my ondansetron. The nauseous feeling woke me up a half hour later than I was supposed to take the last pill. So up I got running for the medication. I don't know if I've mentioned how much I hate taking pills even before this whole journey began in January. After I take the ondansetron, I always need to stay upright for about 1 hour so that it settles and my stomach isn't rolling.
This morning after taking the ondansetron I started looking up quinoa and thrush on the computer. I wanted to see if quinoa would contribute to the thrush or if it is allowable to eat. I was so excited to find out that quinoa is one of 3 acceptable grains/carbohydrates that can be eaten when you have thrush. Just this small activity combined with being tired already, exhausted me and so back to bed I went.
When next I awoke, it was time for lunch. I had a little bit of leftover turkey chili which was very mild. Now that I was awake and fed, I was excited to experiment with making the salad dressing that I had thought about during the night. It was a little tart because I can't add any sugar or sweetness to it as this would encourage the yeast to grow. So I used yogurt, apple cider vinegar, cinnamon, cardamom and celery seed. My husband cooked up the quinoa. It's just like cooking rice with a 1:2 ratio (1 cup quinoa to 2 cups water) for 20 minutes. I diced up celery, tomatoes, peeled cucumber, green onions, green pepper and apple (skin on). I also included some whole blueberries. I mixed it all together with the quinoa and then added enough dressing to moisten the dish. I let it sit for 2 hours so the flavours could blend together well.
Again, this burst of energy drained me and so I laid down and read a book for the rest of the afternoon. For my supper, I put 2 romaine lettuce leaves on my plate. I used the romaine leaves because I had also read that they are good for thrush. I then put the quinoa salad on the romaine lettuce leaves and rolled them up. I thought it turned out very well but my taste buds may also be off. Anyway, it worked for me. The quinoa salad was light on my stomach and helped to settle it.
Tonight, I've watched a preview program on the Relay For Life event on June 1-2. After watching it, I'm sure it is going to be a very emotional night. The program showed clips of last year's Survivor's Walk (which I will do this year) and also clips of the Luminaries which line the track. Luminaries are bags with messages in memory of family members or friends that have lost the battle to cancer. There are also luminaries with messages in honour of survivors. They have a Luminary Lighting Ceremony at dusk. I hope that I will continue to have the emotional strength to get through the event. I struggled just to watch this program tonight. As my husband pointed out, I will be surrounded and supported by my team members which will help me get through the night. I will also be supported emotionally from afar by my family and friends who have donated to me. I'm looking forward to the event and I'm just glad to be able to help raise funds for research and the programs that support cancer survivors.
I found out in my fifth chemo cycle that eating fresh strawberries and cantaloupe help deter the yeast from growing. I read on Friday (2 days ago) that apple cider vinegar is better for preventing thrush and that other vinegars actually encourage the yeast to grow. On Friday, I also read that milk (the lactose sugar) encourages the yeast to grow but that no-fat unsweetened yogurt is full of the good bacteria that combat thrush. Since thrush showed up in my 4th chemo cycle, I've learned that tomatoes, carrots, ginger, garlic, onions, celery, peeled cucumbers, green peppers, apples in small amounts are all good to eat and don't add to the thrush. All this information was swimming in my brain while I couldn't sleep last night. So the next step in my reasoning was, "What kind of salad dressing can I make?". Most salad dressings contain the vinegars that encourage the thrush to grow. So I had a whole conversation with myself mentally. "Why not mix together some plain no-fat unsweetened yogurt with apple cider vinegar?" "But will that cause the yogurt to separate?" "What spices can be added?" "Sugar can't be added." "So let's see....apple cider vinegar originally has apples which makes cinnamon a possibility." "Then what about cardamom? This is an eastern spice that is used in sweet things....like apple pie?" "Since there could be celery in the salad what about celery seed in the dressing?"
Then I thought about eating a quinoa salad. Quinoa is a grain that is grown in South America and is full of protein, lowers cholestrol and is not heavy on the stomach. It is cooked like rice and then can be used in a cold salad just like rice. So as I couldn't sleep, I thought about what vegetables I could mix into the quinoa salad.
Finally I fell asleep. Much too early, it was time to get up and have breakfast so that I could take my prednisone so it doesn't affect my sleep at night too much. I had my breakfast and went back to bed. I fell asleep immediately and then woke up late in order to take my ondansetron. The nauseous feeling woke me up a half hour later than I was supposed to take the last pill. So up I got running for the medication. I don't know if I've mentioned how much I hate taking pills even before this whole journey began in January. After I take the ondansetron, I always need to stay upright for about 1 hour so that it settles and my stomach isn't rolling.
This morning after taking the ondansetron I started looking up quinoa and thrush on the computer. I wanted to see if quinoa would contribute to the thrush or if it is allowable to eat. I was so excited to find out that quinoa is one of 3 acceptable grains/carbohydrates that can be eaten when you have thrush. Just this small activity combined with being tired already, exhausted me and so back to bed I went.
When next I awoke, it was time for lunch. I had a little bit of leftover turkey chili which was very mild. Now that I was awake and fed, I was excited to experiment with making the salad dressing that I had thought about during the night. It was a little tart because I can't add any sugar or sweetness to it as this would encourage the yeast to grow. So I used yogurt, apple cider vinegar, cinnamon, cardamom and celery seed. My husband cooked up the quinoa. It's just like cooking rice with a 1:2 ratio (1 cup quinoa to 2 cups water) for 20 minutes. I diced up celery, tomatoes, peeled cucumber, green onions, green pepper and apple (skin on). I also included some whole blueberries. I mixed it all together with the quinoa and then added enough dressing to moisten the dish. I let it sit for 2 hours so the flavours could blend together well.
Again, this burst of energy drained me and so I laid down and read a book for the rest of the afternoon. For my supper, I put 2 romaine lettuce leaves on my plate. I used the romaine leaves because I had also read that they are good for thrush. I then put the quinoa salad on the romaine lettuce leaves and rolled them up. I thought it turned out very well but my taste buds may also be off. Anyway, it worked for me. The quinoa salad was light on my stomach and helped to settle it.
Tonight, I've watched a preview program on the Relay For Life event on June 1-2. After watching it, I'm sure it is going to be a very emotional night. The program showed clips of last year's Survivor's Walk (which I will do this year) and also clips of the Luminaries which line the track. Luminaries are bags with messages in memory of family members or friends that have lost the battle to cancer. There are also luminaries with messages in honour of survivors. They have a Luminary Lighting Ceremony at dusk. I hope that I will continue to have the emotional strength to get through the event. I struggled just to watch this program tonight. As my husband pointed out, I will be surrounded and supported by my team members which will help me get through the night. I will also be supported emotionally from afar by my family and friends who have donated to me. I'm looking forward to the event and I'm just glad to be able to help raise funds for research and the programs that support cancer survivors.
Saturday, 28 April 2012
Day 3 - 6th Chemo Cycle
Today has been not so good a day. I've been feeling nauseous and very tired. While I was napping this afternoon, I missed seeing some very good friends from out of town who dropped by. Thank goodness my husband happened to come home while they were still in the driveway. They dropped off some bird seed to brighten my days when I feel good enough to be on the patio again. They also brought a beautiful plant to brighten up my day. It did lift my spirits but physically I'm still struggling today.
One more day is crossed off the calendar. One less day to feel lousy. One day closer to being better for good!
One more day is crossed off the calendar. One less day to feel lousy. One day closer to being better for good!
Friday, 27 April 2012
Day 2 - 6th Chemo Cycle
So on the journey goes. I slept well early during the night (8 p.m. to 1:30 a.m.) because of the benedryl and the anti-nausea medications that I had taken earlier in the day. After taking my ondansetron pill (anti-nausea) at 1:30 a.m., I was plagued by night sweats and just not able to go back into a deep sleep.
My day today was spent watching the clock to make sure I didn't miss any doses of medications. The good news is I have not had to use the supplemental anti-nausea medication yet. I do feel the beginning of thrush developing. So I've adjusted what I eat today to include more of the foods that combat thrush. That includes lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and I'm drinking water with lemon juice in it as lemons are supposed to be good for fighting thrush as well.
I've been tired today but also have bursts of energy due to the prednisone. I've done well not to do too much. I use the excess energy to work on my knitting while I watch television. I've also had multiple hot flashes today so needless to say I'm dressed in layers that can come off quickly as the hot flash begins. Then the layers go back on once I'm cooled down and too cold.
My taste buds seem to be working well today and as a result my appetite is good too. I just find that I'm eating smaller snacks and meals. This helps with keeping the nausea under control along with the medication.
So one more day crossed off the calendar until I can feel better for good. I remember in December a friend telling me that she got through her own cancer treatment by going appointment to appointment. I find it has been a similar process for me too. I seem to have been getting through this journey physically and mentally with the help of going from appointment to appointment, from moment to moment in the rough times. I should start to feel better around May 6 or 7. Today I received the date of my CT scan which will tell my doctor that everything is clear and back to normal. My CT scan happens on May 11 and then I'll see my doctor on May 16. My prayer is that everything is clear.
I'm receiving pleasure in the amount of support that people are showing for the Relay For Life. The link for donating online is:
http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR?fr_id=10558&pg=pfind
People can donate using my personal name or people can donate to the team name Cathy Conquers Cancer. If you don't want to donate online, feel free to go to your local Canadian Cancer Society office and indicate you want to donate to the Relay For Life event in Kingston. If you know me well, you may contact me by email or phone and I can instruct you how to get a donation to me.
My day today was spent watching the clock to make sure I didn't miss any doses of medications. The good news is I have not had to use the supplemental anti-nausea medication yet. I do feel the beginning of thrush developing. So I've adjusted what I eat today to include more of the foods that combat thrush. That includes lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and I'm drinking water with lemon juice in it as lemons are supposed to be good for fighting thrush as well.
I've been tired today but also have bursts of energy due to the prednisone. I've done well not to do too much. I use the excess energy to work on my knitting while I watch television. I've also had multiple hot flashes today so needless to say I'm dressed in layers that can come off quickly as the hot flash begins. Then the layers go back on once I'm cooled down and too cold.
My taste buds seem to be working well today and as a result my appetite is good too. I just find that I'm eating smaller snacks and meals. This helps with keeping the nausea under control along with the medication.
So one more day crossed off the calendar until I can feel better for good. I remember in December a friend telling me that she got through her own cancer treatment by going appointment to appointment. I find it has been a similar process for me too. I seem to have been getting through this journey physically and mentally with the help of going from appointment to appointment, from moment to moment in the rough times. I should start to feel better around May 6 or 7. Today I received the date of my CT scan which will tell my doctor that everything is clear and back to normal. My CT scan happens on May 11 and then I'll see my doctor on May 16. My prayer is that everything is clear.
I'm receiving pleasure in the amount of support that people are showing for the Relay For Life. The link for donating online is:
http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR?fr_id=10558&pg=pfind
People can donate using my personal name or people can donate to the team name Cathy Conquers Cancer. If you don't want to donate online, feel free to go to your local Canadian Cancer Society office and indicate you want to donate to the Relay For Life event in Kingston. If you know me well, you may contact me by email or phone and I can instruct you how to get a donation to me.
Thursday, 26 April 2012
Day 1 - 6th Chemo Cycle
Finally!!!! I had my last chemo injection this morning. My veins have always been large and easy to insert needles into. In the fifth chemo injection, they had trouble getting the needle in as the vein rolled away. This morning for the sixth chemo injection, they tried on my right arm (as it was always in the left arm) and again the vein rolled away and it took a while to get the IV put in.
Once the IV was in, I took my pills which I always take before the chemo starts flowing. I took 2 benedryl, 2 tylenol, 2 prednisone, and 1 ondansetron. Then the chemo started. The benedryl really made me tired today. I kept falling asleep throughout the session. It finished about 1:15 and it was with great satisfaction that I rang the bell clearly and loudly to announce to the world that I'm finished my chemotherapy....at least going to the chemotherapy lab. I still have to take the ondansetron and prednisone over the weekend. My last pill of prednisone will be on Monday. When I rang the bell, the nurses all clapped and cheered. The lady that always booked my chemotherapy appointments waved and wished me well. They all invited me to drop in for a visit but not for chemotherapy.
I was home by 1:30. On the way home, I even fell asleep in the van. At that point, Scott pointed out that I looked like I have cancer. I was very pale and waxy looking. I've had an afternoon of quiet resting. I ate some soup for supper. I can feel a headache coming on which is a side effect to one of the chemicals. I'll be taking a tylenol to dull it and then off to bed.
When I first woke up this morning, I felt like I was heading to the gallows. But a really good friend called me and gave me a pep talk. By the end of the phone call, I was smiling and laughing again. So now I just have to ride out this next week or so and then life can only go up. I'm finding that watching my tomato plants and red pepper plants grow continues to lift my spirits. It also lifts my spirits and gives me a sense of satisfaction to see the online donations that are coming in to our team "Cathy Conquers Cancer" for the Relay For Life. Once I'm feeling better in 10 days, I'll be able to use the pledge form I have to look for donations face to face.
The nurse I had today was telling me that people have bbq's at the event and fun activities such as games to participate in. There's also supposed to be live bands and music playing all night long too. It sounds like a fun time. If anyone's interested in donating online just click on the link below.
http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR?fr_id=10558&pg=pfind
Once the IV was in, I took my pills which I always take before the chemo starts flowing. I took 2 benedryl, 2 tylenol, 2 prednisone, and 1 ondansetron. Then the chemo started. The benedryl really made me tired today. I kept falling asleep throughout the session. It finished about 1:15 and it was with great satisfaction that I rang the bell clearly and loudly to announce to the world that I'm finished my chemotherapy....at least going to the chemotherapy lab. I still have to take the ondansetron and prednisone over the weekend. My last pill of prednisone will be on Monday. When I rang the bell, the nurses all clapped and cheered. The lady that always booked my chemotherapy appointments waved and wished me well. They all invited me to drop in for a visit but not for chemotherapy.
I was home by 1:30. On the way home, I even fell asleep in the van. At that point, Scott pointed out that I looked like I have cancer. I was very pale and waxy looking. I've had an afternoon of quiet resting. I ate some soup for supper. I can feel a headache coming on which is a side effect to one of the chemicals. I'll be taking a tylenol to dull it and then off to bed.
When I first woke up this morning, I felt like I was heading to the gallows. But a really good friend called me and gave me a pep talk. By the end of the phone call, I was smiling and laughing again. So now I just have to ride out this next week or so and then life can only go up. I'm finding that watching my tomato plants and red pepper plants grow continues to lift my spirits. It also lifts my spirits and gives me a sense of satisfaction to see the online donations that are coming in to our team "Cathy Conquers Cancer" for the Relay For Life. Once I'm feeling better in 10 days, I'll be able to use the pledge form I have to look for donations face to face.
The nurse I had today was telling me that people have bbq's at the event and fun activities such as games to participate in. There's also supposed to be live bands and music playing all night long too. It sounds like a fun time. If anyone's interested in donating online just click on the link below.
http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR?fr_id=10558&pg=pfind
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
Day 21 - 5th Chemo Cycle
So today is the last day of the 5th chemo cycle. I'll be going in for my LAST chemotherapy treatment tomorrow morning at 9:30. I had a checkup at the doctor this afternoon. I mentioned to him the swelling near my collarbone on the left side. I mentioned that my voice is more hoarse again just like in November. He asked me if I have developed a cough. And yes, I've had a nagging cough since Friday (5 days). I've been really tired again since Friday.
My doctor checked me over and is positive that the lymph node in my neck has not gotten bigger. My blood levels were all well in the normal range. He said that my body is just showing the effects of all the chemotherapy it's been receiving. I have been cleared to receive the chemotherapy treatment tomorrow. My doctor wants to see me again in 3 weeks time. He is hoping that I will have a CT scan in about 2 weeks time and he will have the results when I see him next. He reassured me that the lymphoma is gone. It only has a 15-18% recurrance rate and that would be in the first 12-18 months after treatment. He is convinced that we have it beat.
This morning my minister came to visit me. I was honest with her and stated that I was full of anxiety. Anxiety about tomorrow's treatment, anxiety about what I thought was the lymph node possibly growing, etc. While visiting with her, I felt a real cloak of peace fall over me and it has stayed with me throughout most of today.
I'm very pleased with the generosity that has been shown so far in my team's quest to raise funds for the Relay For Life. If you're interested in donating online, just go to the following link:
http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL_ON_even_?px=4345136&pg=personal&fr_id=10558
Here's hoping we can all celebrate the end of my treatments with donations. I'll be remembering all who donated as I walk on June 1.
My doctor checked me over and is positive that the lymph node in my neck has not gotten bigger. My blood levels were all well in the normal range. He said that my body is just showing the effects of all the chemotherapy it's been receiving. I have been cleared to receive the chemotherapy treatment tomorrow. My doctor wants to see me again in 3 weeks time. He is hoping that I will have a CT scan in about 2 weeks time and he will have the results when I see him next. He reassured me that the lymphoma is gone. It only has a 15-18% recurrance rate and that would be in the first 12-18 months after treatment. He is convinced that we have it beat.
This morning my minister came to visit me. I was honest with her and stated that I was full of anxiety. Anxiety about tomorrow's treatment, anxiety about what I thought was the lymph node possibly growing, etc. While visiting with her, I felt a real cloak of peace fall over me and it has stayed with me throughout most of today.
I'm very pleased with the generosity that has been shown so far in my team's quest to raise funds for the Relay For Life. If you're interested in donating online, just go to the following link:
http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL_ON_even_?px=4345136&pg=personal&fr_id=10558
Here's hoping we can all celebrate the end of my treatments with donations. I'll be remembering all who donated as I walk on June 1.
Tuesday, 24 April 2012
Day 20 - 5th Chemo Cycle
Today I registered my team for the Relay For Life. This is a fundraiser for the Canadian Cancer Society and the money goes to support the programs for those living with cancer. Some of the money also goes towards research. For those who may be interested in donating on my behalf you can go to the following link:
http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL_ON_even_?px=4345136&pg=personal&fr_id=10558
All I can think is that the donations in the last 20 years helped fund the lymphoma research. If I had been diagnosed with lymphoma 20 years ago, my husband would be attending my funeral and adjusting to life as a widower at much too young an age. Because people have been generous with their donations in the past, I am looking at a 80% cure rate. My hope is that I can help raise funds so that somebody in the future is given the good news that their cancer is curable. Just think what it would be like to live in a world where all cancers were beatable!
Today, I was also very anxious about my upcoming treatment. What if the lymph node in my neck is growing again. I have been fighting some hoarseness since Friday. There also seems to be some puffiness in the area where the tumour was orginally located. Logically, I tell myself this could be caused by the trimming of the hedge. I was using manual hedge shears. The fearful part of me says it could be the tumour getting ready to grow again. I'll be mentioning the hoarseness and the puffiness to my doctor tomorrow.
My husband remembers the doctor telling us that if there are still enlarge lymph nodes after the sixth treatment, then I can still have two more chemotherapy treatments. The extra treatments would interfere with my being able to participate in the Relay For Life and also another weekend that I have planned as a reward for myself. I don't want to have to go through anymore chemotherapy treatments. My anxiety has been causing me to feel a little nauseous again. I've also had trouble sleeping although that is being caused by night sweats.
I'm feeling grumpy and out of sorts. I'm tired of the treatments. I know that this is probably the last one but I really don't look forward to next week when I'm tired, nauseous and food tastes sour and terrible. I also don't like seeing the IV bags hanging on the pole and watching the chemicals go down the tube into my arm. The worst chemical is the third one that is red. I hate seeing the red liquid come down the tube and then into me. That's why I bring a book to read so I don't have to watch such unnatural chemicals pump into me. I don't like how my body smells of chemicals afterwards. I want my body to be back to normal. I want to be able to have energy to work in my garden. I want to be able to go for long walks and not be exhausted. I want to be able to talk for hours and not have any hoarseness.
The good news is that my team Cathy Conquers Cancer is now able to start raising funds online and offline. I managed to get this organized and registered before my next treatment. People can be fundraising while I'm recuperating from my last treatment. Hopefully, I'll feel better in time for my birthday. That would be nice.
http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL_ON_even_?px=4345136&pg=personal&fr_id=10558
All I can think is that the donations in the last 20 years helped fund the lymphoma research. If I had been diagnosed with lymphoma 20 years ago, my husband would be attending my funeral and adjusting to life as a widower at much too young an age. Because people have been generous with their donations in the past, I am looking at a 80% cure rate. My hope is that I can help raise funds so that somebody in the future is given the good news that their cancer is curable. Just think what it would be like to live in a world where all cancers were beatable!
Today, I was also very anxious about my upcoming treatment. What if the lymph node in my neck is growing again. I have been fighting some hoarseness since Friday. There also seems to be some puffiness in the area where the tumour was orginally located. Logically, I tell myself this could be caused by the trimming of the hedge. I was using manual hedge shears. The fearful part of me says it could be the tumour getting ready to grow again. I'll be mentioning the hoarseness and the puffiness to my doctor tomorrow.
My husband remembers the doctor telling us that if there are still enlarge lymph nodes after the sixth treatment, then I can still have two more chemotherapy treatments. The extra treatments would interfere with my being able to participate in the Relay For Life and also another weekend that I have planned as a reward for myself. I don't want to have to go through anymore chemotherapy treatments. My anxiety has been causing me to feel a little nauseous again. I've also had trouble sleeping although that is being caused by night sweats.
I'm feeling grumpy and out of sorts. I'm tired of the treatments. I know that this is probably the last one but I really don't look forward to next week when I'm tired, nauseous and food tastes sour and terrible. I also don't like seeing the IV bags hanging on the pole and watching the chemicals go down the tube into my arm. The worst chemical is the third one that is red. I hate seeing the red liquid come down the tube and then into me. That's why I bring a book to read so I don't have to watch such unnatural chemicals pump into me. I don't like how my body smells of chemicals afterwards. I want my body to be back to normal. I want to be able to have energy to work in my garden. I want to be able to go for long walks and not be exhausted. I want to be able to talk for hours and not have any hoarseness.
The good news is that my team Cathy Conquers Cancer is now able to start raising funds online and offline. I managed to get this organized and registered before my next treatment. People can be fundraising while I'm recuperating from my last treatment. Hopefully, I'll feel better in time for my birthday. That would be nice.
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