Day 1 - The downslide begins

I had some nausea in the middle of the night and needed a supplemental nausea pill. I did not enjoy my breakfast this morning and my appetite was slightly decreased as the day wore on.

This morning, I had the routine medicals prods and checks. I am being given 2 hours of saline solution every morning now for the next little bit. So this morning, I spent my time knitting and walking until lunch time.

I had my lunch which was light and sat well with me which was nice. Then this afternoon, it was wonderful to have visitors. One arrived right after lunch and then just as he was leaving another couple of friends arrived and stayed until close to dinner time. Then Hubby arrived and shared dinner time with me.  After dinner, we spent some time playing cribbage and chatting although we also did a few laps of the floor so that I could walk out the swelling that is still in my abdomen and upper legs.

Today, along with the decreased appetite, I was having plenty of trips to the washroom. This will be watched closely by the staff and there is a plan in place to deal with it all. I don't like this part of the process and it is only starting. I have been assured that I will have meds to help with it all at the appropriate time.

Hubby was here for the night change in the nursing shift. After the new nurse had checked all my vital signs and left, Hubby got his things together and went home. It is garbage night and our cat, Frodo, is needing his nightly cuddle time.

Stem Cell Transplant Day - Called Day 0

With all the heavy rain and some anxiety about today, I didn't sleep very well last night. This morning I was given 2 hours of IV saline solution before heading down to the Stem Cell Unit for my transplant.

Hubby and I walked to the elevators and went down to the Stem Cell Unit. The transplant was pretty uneventful and a bit of a anti-climax. I was given Benadryl through IV and in no time, I was falling asleep. The nurses did their best to keep me alert and awake. I was back in the elevators heading up to my room with Hubby by 2:30 and then I slept for a couple of hours.

The stem cells were preserved using some kind of corn mixture and so now I am emitting the smell of creamed corn from my pores. This will apparently continue for about 2 days. I don't notice it but the nurses and hubby did.

This morning while on the IV saline solution, I did deliver a few pairs of socks for the upcoming Hospital Auxiliary Bazaar at the end of November. And I have started another pair of small size socks (the first sock) which will also go to the bazaar.

I'm on a high protein, high calorie diet to get me through the phase where I will lose weight. I'm struggling to eat everything that is added to my order by my nutritionist. Tonight, she added Ensure as well as a night time snack of cheese and crackers. I managed to eat my supper but the Ensure was my night time snack. I will probably have the cheese and crackers in the morning as breakfast is always served a little later here.

Thank you to all my friends and family that have been sending words and cards of encouragement as well as comments after these posts. It helps to know there is all this support. I have a great health care team working with me and friends that have been and will be coming to visit. Thank you is not adequate to express myself but there it is.

Day Minus 1 - Trying to Pass the Time

Overnight last night, I had a disrupted night. I am battling some constipation due to the anti-nausea drugs that I am on. I am bloating and swelling due to the constipation but also due to the liquid + saline IV that I was on for the last 4 days.

To reduce the swelling, I have to walk. To move my bowels, I have to walk and drink lots of liquids and I am doing that. This morning, I was a little unsteady on my feet so while I was alone, I stayed on my floor and walked laps. Once Hubby arrived to visit for the day, I could leave the floor with him walking with me. We continued to explore the hospital and walk as briskly as I could. My ankles were less swollen but my stomach to my knees are still swollen. So I continue to walk.

Our (Hubby and I) day was spent walking, playing cribbage, eating lunch, more walking, sitting and chatting in my room and more walking. I have a good view of the Queens soccer field and it was interesting to see soccer and rugby games being played in the pouring rain.

Late this afternoon, my nurse came in and chatted and visited with us. We got to know more about each other and it helped pass the late afternoon lull that we were experiencing. She's a lovely young lady and I thoroughly have enjoyed her as she has worked with me today. A sense of humour goes a long way to making a stay a bit better.

I finished the second sock in the large pair that I was knitting so this pair is ready for the Bazaar. Hubby left just as my dinner arrived. He took my laundry home to wash for me. It needs to be washed twice in hot water to kill the chemicals that I am emitting from my pores. He will bring it back tomorrow for me. Last night I found it hard to walk to the end of the hallway as he left. The walk back to my room seemed very lonely. Tonight we just said goodbye in the room. Because I'm toxic, he can't really touch me but we do say goodbye with a fist bump.

I'm hoping I may have visitors tonight still. A couple of very good friends are employees here and may come to visit during their break. Definitely, tomorrow my very best friend will be coming to visit me in the morning. She most likely will arrive to see me hooked back up to IV fluid in preparation for my stem cell transplant tomorrow at 12:30.

This evening I may pass the time working on my Sudoku book, Crossword book or colouring in my colouring book.

Day Minus 2 - Swelling, Walking, Visiting

The swelling from yesterday has continued. It started to reach my hands but then I started knitting again and the moving of the fingers has helped reduce the swelling in my fingers. At about 1:30 p.m. I was disconnected from the IV and this allowed me to walk more easily and be up and down and moving. The swelling is still there but I'll be working on moving around to reduce it. As was asked after yesterday's post, the swelling is due to all the saline solution and fluids that have been constantly pumped into me since Wednesday night.

Hubby came by to spend the afternoon and part of the evening with me. Last night I started having trembling and shaking in my hands and a feeling of trembling inside my body. As a result, I need to have someone walk with me at all times until this trembling/shaking is gone. The nurses are afraid it my attack my knees and I could collapse. We're not sure what is causing the trembling. At first, we thought it was fatigue but it doesn't appear to make a difference. Then we wondered if it was low blood sugar near mealtimes and snacks. That doesn't seem to make a difference. We're keeping an eye on it. So I got off track a little. Hubby was my walking companion. We have been exploring different areas in the hospital and learning about the history of the hospital. The days can be long. When hubby and I return from our walks, he checks Facebook and I go back to knitting with my feet up. Today hubby brought a deck of cards from home for me to play solitaire by myself when I have no one here. Tonight, we played "Go Fish". We haven't played this for many, many years and it took some time for the rules to reassert themselves in my mind. Tomorrow hubby is going to bring the cribbage board and we can play cribbage together.

This morning I received a really nice phone call from my daughter. She had only a small amount of time to chat but it was really lovely to hear her voice and have a brief visit. Speaking of visits, I had a very good friend who works at the hospital come by on her break to visit. We had a lovely time and caught up on how all our various children are doing. Hopefully, she will be able to visit again tomorrow and maybe have one of her daughters with her. This family is a lovely, warm and caring group. I've known them for several years and always enjoy seeing them. Visitors help make the time here go by more quickly

I am now on a high protein and high calorie diet after having met with the nutrition yesterday. This is in an effort to keep my weight up and also help my red blood cells and platelets rebound after the transplant on Monday. I'm a little concerned about the next week to 2 weeks and how bad I will feel. It's a good thing I'm in the hospital as the nurses are taking wonderful care of me. I have a great health care team. I see a doctor or a resident doctor every day. The nurses are very caring and attentive. This relieves the worries in my mind and helps me stay calm. I truly feel like I am on a ride and we'll see where it takes me. Does it take me down into the low valleys? Then will the ride travel along in the low valley for a week? Does the ride take a steep climb up to the regular level or does it take a slow, gradual climb up the steep hill? However the ride goes, I'm in good hands. I'm in God's hands. I'm in the hands of my health care team. Perhaps it is God working through the health care team and they are God's hands. I like that thought and I feel calmed.

It's now getting close to my bedtime so I must sign off and start my bedtime routine which includes a mouth rinse that I need to do at least 4 times each day. This will help to keep the mouth sores (canker sores inside the mouth). It was hard to say good bye to my hubby tonight. I'll see him tomorrow though.

High Dose Chemo Minus 3

I noticed last night and again throughout today that my lower legs, ankles and toes are swelling. Yesterday I had to sit all day due to the length of the high dose chemo. Today's dose was only 45 minutes long. So after my last chemo session (hopefully the last one ever) and then after my medications and my lunch, I went for a long walk throughout the hospital. I'm keeping my legs raised and going walking in the effort to lessen the swelling. I dropped in and visited with my old volunteers in the Tuck Shop and also some regular customers. I walked over to the chemo lab in the Cancer Centre to say hello to the nurses who looked after me earlier in this journey of cancer. Only one nurse I knew was there. She smiled at me as she worked with her current cancer patient. I was attempting to walk briskly and was running out of breath quickly. My hubby was with me and suggest I could slow down. I want to get myself back into shape and keep walking even as I was tiring. I did receive some encouragement from one of the porters that I know from working at the hospital. I dropped in to see the volunteers in the Gift Shop. I then returned to my room. I did go for another couple of shorter walks later on in the afternoon.

I met with the nutritionist who works on the floor that I'm staying in. I am on a high protein diet. I get to choose my menu for my lunches and my dinners. Tonight I had a high fiber Tilapia dinner with wild rice, steamed broccoli and corn. I noticed that a high protein snack was added to my meal for later. It is peanut butter and crackers with a 2% milk.  The hospital food isn't that bad. Maybe this is because I'm not tired of it yet.

I'm on constant IV fluids to keep me hydrated and my potassium and magnesium up to where they need to be. There is a chart in my room to compare my blood levels every day. This means that blood is taken from me everyday to check the levels and I will be able to see when they go down. I have been told that it is normal for people to get blood transfusions to bring up the red blood cell counts and the platelet counts.

I apparently will feel good this weekend but by next weekend, I will be feeling ill and will go downhill after that for another 7-14 days before my counts rebound.

I am tired and bored. However, I do have things to occupy my time. So far I've continued knitting my socks and reading in the evening before bedtime. I have some colouring books and pencil crayons but I haven't coloured yet. I also have some magazines that I could read. I'm sure I'll get to doing these activities before I leave the hospital.

High Dose Chemo Day Minus 4

As it was explained to me this morning, my stem cell transplant on Monday is considered Day 0. The days before that day are in the minuses. Today is Minus 4, tomorrow is Minus 3, etc.

Last night I went to bed at 10:30. The nurse had to take my vitals (temperature, blood pressure and heart rate). She had to do this again around 4 a.m. when she hooked me up to a saline solution to enter me through my picc line. I also had the on call doctor come in during the night (maybe midnight?) to check me over as part of the admissions process. When she entered my room, it scared me and I yelled out. Also during the night, there was an announcement for the whole hospital regarding a Code White. This woke me and startled me. Needless to say, it was a disrupted night's sleep. I am well aware that I will have disrupted sleeps while here because the nurse has to check my vital statistics every 4 hours to make sure I'm not coming down with an infection.

So this morning I had to go for a chest x-ray so they have a baseline to show and compare if I get an infection. As I waited for my breakfast and my chest x-ray, I started another pair of socks. This time I'm knitting a large pair (size 9-10). I had my breakfast of a bowl of cornflakes with milk, 2% milk, raisin scone with margarine, a serving of cheese and a coffee. After breakfast, the porter, who I know, took me down for my x-rays. We chatted about the Kingston Frontenacs all the way down. I had my x-rays done and on the ceiling in the x-ray room was a painting of Calvin & Hobbes. I mentioned to the x-ray technician that I love Calvin & Hobbes. She admitted that she painted the tile using a projector. She admitted that she has done some other paintings on the ceilings in the hospital. As she took me back to the area for me to wait for the porter, she pointed out other drawings on the ceilings that have been done by child patients and their families. There were hand prints and feet prints that have been painted to look like elephants and giraffes and zebras. It was so cool to see these paintings. Anyway, I knew the porter that took me back up to my room. As we were navigating the hallways, I kept seeing other employees and volunteers that I knew. The porter was nice enough to stop and allow a short hello conversation.

After getting back to my room, I was hooked up to IV liquids and given some anti-nausea pills (Ondansetron, Emend, Dexamethasone) and Benadryl an hour before the chemo was to be injected. The chemo didn't start until 2 p.m. It is an 8 hour session, so even as I blog this tonight, I'm still have chemo pumped into me.

I've spent my day knitting and sitting quietly with my hubby in my room. I've enjoyed a surprise visit from my co-workers and volunteers where they presented me with an absolutely beautiful prayer shawl that has hearts and a cross and an angel attached at the ends. It's very soft and very warm. What a lovely gift that means so much! Just as that group was leaving another volunteer that I worked with arrived to visit briefly. She had been volunteering today in another area of the hospital and stopped in on her way home. What a thoughtful thing to do when she was tired.

I'm tired tonight. I've knitted most of the day. I'm ready to go to sleep but the chemo still has 30 minutes to go before it's done. Today's been a good day. I do need help to change because my picc line will have an IV in it that my shirt needs to navigate around and then my nightgown sleeve needs to navigate around the picc line and IV. I'll be getting the nurse to help me.

The nurses believe that I won't start feeling poorly until next Thursday or Friday. We'll see.

Admissions Day

I awoke this morning and waited by the phone while I knitted my socks. I was waiting for the phone to ring and tell me that a bed was available for me at the hospital. I knitted and watched television while I waited for the phone to ring.

A friend contacted me to see if I wanted company. I said "Sure, come on over. I'm waiting for the hospital to call me." As soon as she indicated she was on her way, the phone rang. It was the Admissions Department of the hospital telling me there was a bed available. I asked if it was a private or semi-private room. I lucked out and got a private room. I had to report to the hospital after supper.

Hubby and I had decided that we would have our "last supper" at Darbar if the hospital called during the day. I had most of my belongings packed and ready to go. My friend arrived and we visited for the afternoon. It really was nice to have her there and make the time go faster. When she left, I had about an hour before Hubby would be home from work to pick me up. I ran through my checklist and was pretty sure I had everything packed that I would need. I then called my sister and caught her just before she started teaching her kickboxing class. We had a brief visit but I was glad to talk to her before leaving for the hospital.

Hubby arrived home and we carried out my "luggage" and locked the door. Then we went for dinner. As always, I enjoyed my meal and savoured every bite. We got an overwhelming surprise when we went to pay for our meal. Someone had paid for our meal and bought us a gift certificate. On the gift certificate under "From" it said "Everyone who loves you."  Both hubby and I were speechless! What a gift and we don't even know who to thank! Whoever it was, thank you from the bottom of my heart. It touched both hubby and I deeply.

We then made our way to the hospital and I was admitted. I am settled into my private room which overlooks the soccer field at Queens University. I have a small bar fridge in my room so I will be able to have gingerale and my flavoured club soda kept cold. I will also be able to have some yogurt and space for a small container of my quinoa salad. Here's hoping all this will help to boost my blood cell counts.

So a tentative plan is in place and now it's just a matter of getting through the next two weeks. Tonight, the nurse has taken blood from me to test my levels. My vitals have been taken and I have had an ECG. I'm just waiting now for the doctor who is on call for the overnight shift to come in and see me. I've been told she will check me over physically to see how I'm doing.

The final ride has begun.