Saturday, 10 March 2012

Day 17 - 3rd Chemo Cycle

Overall, I had a quiet day today.  As always, I checked my email this morning.  An email, from a friend of mine in PEI, was waiting to greet me this morning.  It always lifts my spirits to see her unread emails in my inbox.

For a change of scenery, I rode around in the van while my husband ran a couple of errands.  It was nice to get out.  Once we arrived home, I decided to check my gardens.  It has been so warm lately that my forsythia bushes have little buds on them.  I even noticed that my peonies in the west facing flowerbed have shoots starting to push through the earth.  This is much too early especially when we received some snow yesterday and the temperature dropped overnight.  I hope the new growth doesn't get frozen.  I did enjoy the fresh air as I walked around the yard.

Once I was inside, I settled down with my knitting to watch the Brier this afternoon.  I'm again watching it tonight as I knit.  I'm very tired since we got back from the errands this afternoon.  My stamina is not very good.

It could also be that I'm tired because I've been awake since 5 a.m. because I was having night sweats.  This could just be age related.  However, that's what I thought throughout the Fall and then I found out it is a symptom of lymphoma.  I'll be mentioning this to my doctor when I see him on Wednesday.  It's so confusing because a lot of the symptoms of the lymphoma are also symptoms of my age and peri-menopause.

I'm doing a lot of knitting today because I'm also getting anxious about the next round of chemo. The knitting distracts me from my anxiety.  I really don't like the chemo.  I am almost dreading the next "bad" time.  However, when I have these thoughts, then I talk to myself and say that "without the chemo, I could have already been put in the ground at any time from now until June".  I'll do the chemo and I will survive the side effects.  I have too much to live for and the chemo will cure me.  It really is a waste of time to fret about the next round.   To fret about Thursday (my next treatment) robs me of my good time now and worrying doesn't stop the treatment day from arriving.

I'm hoping to go to church tomorrow, but if I'm as tired as I have been for the last 6 hours, then I won't be going out.  I would also like to watch my son play in the playoffs of his curling league tomorrow afternoon.  It all will depend on how I feel.

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