Day 14 - 4th Chemo Cycle

Today was a rest day because my body is tired.  Unfortunately, my mind is bored.  I'm tired of knitting, watching television and reading.  I felt the cold too much today to try to prune my grape vines.  I may have been feeling the cold because my body is tired.

I had seen a cooking program on Monday, March 26 (Day 12 - 4th Chemo Cycle) where a chocolate pecan layer cake had been made.  I got the recipe and have been wanting to try and make it since Monday.  I finally dragged up some energy to make it this afternoon so the kids could have some dessert.  For supper, I did reheat some macaroni and cheese that friends from Avonmore had delivered a few weeks ago.  Between the macaroni and cheese and a slice of very sweet cake, I'm very full tonight.  I've eaten too much and now I'm even more tired as my body tries to digest a heavy supper.

Today as I read today's entry in "The Book of Awakening", it spoke to me very distinctly.  It talked about "The Gift of Shedding".  By shedding dead skin cells, our skin is renewed.  The entry asked the reader to consider what area in their life could be shedded and make way for renewal of thoughts or actions.  As I read the entry, it became very clear to me that I need to "let go" some thoughts that I hold on to regarding some very annoying neighbours.  This is going to be an ongoing challenge but it will be my next area of "shedding".  I didn't do a very good job of it today as my thoughts regarding these people didn't change.  I do recognize that I need to change my thinking pattern because it really is like a shackle and is holding me back from totally enjoying life.  If I can "shed" this dislike and the resulting thoughts, then I believe the renewed thoughts and actions will lead me to be an even happier person.

Certainly, this whole lymphoma experience has given me more time for reflection and allowed me to improve my inner self.   Reflection only occurs when we make time to be still and get to know ourselves.  Our society does not make it easy to be still and thoughtful.  We, as a society, are always on the run from one activity to another and we tend to neglect our inner thoughts and souls.  Hopefully, once I am well again, I will make changes in my life so that I have daily time for reflection and communing with my soul.