Friday, 16 March 2012

Day 2 - 4th Chemo Cycle

Today I haven't felt too bad.  As long as I keep up with the anti-nausea medications then I don't feel too nauseous.  After breakfast, I noticed I was already getting the metallic/ugly after taste.  This normally doesn't show up until a bit later (like Day 3 or 4).  So I had lots of water to wash it away.  It didn't help.   It always helps to brush my teeth so I brushed again.  This was the second time already today and it was only after breakfast.  I've been tired which is par for the course so I've taken it easy by knitting and watching television.  I had a small lunch and then the after taste happened again.  I had another visit with my toothbrush when I noticed white patches were showing up on my tongue.

I called my primary nurse at the Cancer Centre to describe what was going on.  I'm glad I did because it ends up I had the beginnings of thrush.  This is a side effect of the prednisone.  So now I'm on some more medication to treat that.

I feel like one big chemical cocktail.  I'm on 6 stool softener pills a day, 3 pills a day of ondansetron (anit-nausea meds), 2 pills a day of prednisone, 4 doses of nystatin (to treat the thrush), 1 pill a day of ezetrol (cholestrol med), 2 pills of senokot (to fight constipation), 2 doses of lactulose (if the Senokot doesn't work) and more pills of a supplemental anti-nausea medication if needed.  All this when I normally do not take pills and I hate taking pills!!  There I have had my rant!

I noticed today that I was rather grumpy.  My husband is convinced that it is a side effect of the prednisone.  In taking some quiet time to think this afternoon, while I knitted, I think the ripples of anger may be coming from a feeling of helplessness.  This isn't helplessness about looking after myself but more of a helplessness about what's going on inside my body.  I know that my body is continuing the fight against the cancer cells.  I also know my body is reacting to the chemicals that have been injected directly into the blood stream.  But I am helpless as to how my body reacts to all these agents invading it.  I just have to ride this out for the next week.  Anyway, the grumpiness of all this is coming out at my family around me in little comments.  I'm not really upset with my family.  They have been supportive in their own ways.  As I read my "The Frienship Book 2012" today, it quoted the author, Margaret Lee Runbeck.  Here's the quote as quoted from the Friendship Book.  ""Apology," she wrote, "is a lovely perfume; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift"."

Needless to say, today I was apologizing more often than I have in previous days.  If my husband is correct about the prednisone, then it will be a rougher ride for my family until about Monday.  I hope it won't be.

Last night it was nice to be reminded by family and friends that I'm now two thirds of the way through my treatments.  I'm just going to focus on one day at a time for now.

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