Saturday, 9 June 2012

A Full Day

Today was a very busy day.  I didn't sleep that well last night because my hips were aching from all the walking I did yesterday.  My elbows and forearms were also aching through the night because of my working on the hedge.  I know they are aching just because the muscles are all out of shape.  I hope that my hips are aching because of muscles but I'm also a little worried that the hips may be a result of the prednisone that I was on during treatments.  I will be seeing my oncologist for a check up in about 2 weeks and I'll be asking him about the soreness in my hips.

Despite not sleeping well last night, I had good energy and the outdoors were calling my name.  I decided to work on the hedge.  I finally finished trimming the tops off the whole hedge!!  I had started this project back in March or April. Once I finished trimming this morning, I felt a real sense of completion and satisfaction.  I looked up the length of the hedge and....the first half that I had done back in the beginning of April (I think) is overgrown and in need of another trim.   So I started on it again.  As I worked on the trimming it, I realized that this time it is going much quicker.  I also hadn't trimmed the sides of the hedge the first time.  I worked on it for about 1 hour in total today.  My arms and hands were very sore and stiff by the time I finished.  So that was it for the day.  Or so I thought.

My son had a batting practice up at the ball field at noon.  My husband had to umpire at 1:30.  My daughter was at a sleepover.  My husband, son and I loaded up the van with all the trimmings from the hedge.  We dropped my son off for his practice and then my husband I continued on to the city composting site.  We dropped off the compost and then I dropped my husband off for his umpiring duties.  I returned home with the intention of having some lunch and quiet time before picking my son and husband up.

The best laid plans always go awry.  I should have learned over the last several months that plans are not important and to just go with the flow.  I do go with the flow but I still find it a little difficult to let go of my "plans".  I was warming up some leftovers for lunch when the phone rang.  I had a wonderful visit with my in-laws.  While chatting with them, my daughter called to inform me that she was staying at her friend's place for dinner and I was to pick her up at 7.  I called my in-laws back and we continued our visit.  By the time I hung up, it was 3:30.  I still hadn't had my lunch and it was still sitting in the microwave but now it was cold.  I reheated it again and just as I was pulling it out of the microwave, the phone rang.  My husband was ready to be picked up from the ball field.  I just hung the phone up and my son came in from his practice.  They were both ready to have some supper and my husband had to still go back to the ball field for another game this evening.  I picked my husband up and then threw together some supper.

Needless to say the day ended up being filled from the time I got up straight through to tonight.  One of the things I wanted to change in life was the constant running on the treadmill of activities.  I think I will have to make sure that I greedily snatch some quiet time every single day just for me.  I found myself getting grumpy because I felt rushed all day long.  My husband had to be there for 5:15 or so.  I had offered to drive my son to his girlfriend's house for 6:30.  My daughter needed to be picked up at 7.  I wanted to watch my husband umpire his game.  So I had about thirty to forty-five minutes between dropping my husband off and dropping my son off.

I took that time to quietly dead-head my peonies and my cranesbill geraniums.  This time was so peaceful as I felt I was rejuvenating my flowers and at the same time listening to the birds.  The repetitive motion of plucking off the spent flowerheads seemed to calm my inner turmoil and restore me to a peaceful sense of balance.  I really love nature and the peace it gives to my soul.  Today reinforced for me the fact that I really don't like racing through my day from one activity to another in an effort to be supportive to all the members of my family.  I really do like supporting them but I find it very overwhelming and chaotic to go non-stop.  I have to find a way to get off this whirling carousel of life.  It seems to go faster and faster.  I'm going to have to realize that I need some balance and that sometimes I'll have to say no or stop volunteering to drive as often.  I'm very tired tonight as a result of the very busy day I had today.

I know this sounds like I'm complaining but it is more a realization of what needs to change.  I'm still figuring out how I'll manage to implement the changes that I'm wanting.  I did manage to make it to my husband's game that he was umpiring and I really enjoyed watching the game.  I hope tomorrow will be a little less hectic.  I am hoping to go to church in the morning and then that is it for the day.  I am ready to have a full "day of rest" to let my sore muscles and tired body rejuvenate.

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