A Tired Day (Wed.)

I struggled today.  I've been fairly active and able to do more around the house lately.  On Sunday I realized that this week was going to be a real test of my ability to get things done and prioritize.  I had a function to attend tonight in support of my husband.  I was looking forward to this event as I do every year.  To me it was not an option to miss the event so it was a priority.  Today I also had some laundry to get done, some grocery shopping to do in preparation for the long weekend and I wanted to clean my bathrooms in preparation for family who are coming to visit and attend our son's graduation.  I don't know if it is the pressure of getting prepared for graduation and the long weekend, but I was already overtired before the day even began.

I was able to get the shopping done with my son's assistance.  My mind and memory were not working well today at all.  Even with writing things down to remind myself, I kept forgetting.  My son helped me keep it all straight and on track.  I got the laundry done and hung outside.  And then I ran out of energy completely.  I felt dizzy and nauseous which still happens when I have done too much.  It was only 12 noon.  I still had the bathrooms that I wanted to clean but I knew I did not have the energy to do it.  I also knew that I still wanted to support my husband at his event tonight.  So I decided to put the bathrooms off until tomorrow and I laid down to rest.  I slept for two hours!

When I awoke, I did not feel refreshed.  I was still really tired.  I got myself ready for the evening and as I brushed my teeth, I struggled with my gag reflex and the memory of struggling to brush my teeth during the days immediately following my chemo.  I sat on the patio and read a book until it was time to head to my husband's event.  I was a little more alert but still feeling dragged out.  I'm assuming it is my body being tired after I've had three consecutive good and busy days.

I went to the "party" but I did not have enough energy to stand and mingle at the beginning.  So I found the table where we were seated and sat down.  People were really understanding and came over to visit.  I enjoyed myself and I also enjoyed the meal.  While the speeches and presentations took place, I was very proud of my husband and glad that I had attended the event.  He has been such a rock for me throughout the last eight months and in the process he still did an amazing job at work and received a promotion.  I'm always happy to see him in his element at these functions as he appreciates and applauds the employees and volunteers.  However, at about 8:45 p.m. I started to tire quickly.  The formal part of the evening finished around 9:45 and I tried to mingle with the others out on the terrace and in the main room.  Unfortunately, I started to feel unwell.  By this I mean, I started feeling dizzy and ill.  I said my farewells and made my way to the van.  The drive home seemed to take a long time as I concentrated on the road.

It was so nice to be out and see people that I haven't seen since this time last year.  Everyone was so supportive and encouraging.  People were complimentary about the blog and how insightful it has been for them and how they were able to walk with me every step of the way.  These comments came at a time when I've been questionning whether to keep the blog going.  When I started the blog, I decided I would write it from the time that I discovered the lymphoma through to the time that I was cured of the lymphoma.  Although I'm in remission, I'm not deemed cured until five to seven years from now when I'll be cancer free for the whole time.  The blog will still meet my need to express how my body continues to get stronger as well as any setbacks.  The blog still helps me keep life in perspective.