Moving Forward

Last February, I planted seeds and then watched them sprout and grow into healthy plants.  As I have healed and grown stronger, my tomato plants and pepper plants have also grown stronger.  We had a very dry summer and my husband took it upon himself to regularly water the tomato plants that I had transplanted into the garden.  The symbolism of the plants growing was very important to him.  They are now bearing lots of fruit.

Over the last couple of days, I have been excitedly harvesting the ripe tomatoes.  Yesterday I made tomato juice and canned it for use later on in the winter.  I was very proud of myself for being able to have the stamina to make the juice and can it yesterday afternoon.  I was very tired afterwards so I had a short nap because my husband and I were planning on attending a fundraiser last night.

I'm glad I had the nap because it refreshed me enough that we were able to go out and enjoy some of the live music at the memorial benefit concert in  memory of Taylor Allan.  This was an event to raise money to add to the Taylor Allan memoria bursary that is administered by the Limestone Learning Foundation.  The evening also included a live auction and a silent auction.  I enjoyed myself but felt myself tiring as the evening went on.  When we returned home around 10:30 p.m., I went straight to bed as I'd had a full day.

A couple of days ago, I was hoping that today we'd be able to make a family trip to the Avonmore Berry Farm and go apple picking.  I have apples growing in my back yard, but they've been too small and wormy to use for freezing in order to make pies and apple crisp in the winter.  Anyway, I wanted to go to Avonmore early this morning, go to my old church and visit with old neighbours and friends as well as go apple picking.  I was really looking forward to doing this today.  Unfortunately, my body didn't listen to my mind and I slept through until 9 this morning.  I struggled to be alert this morning.  Finally my husband suggested that we hop on his scooter and drive to our new minister's open house that she was having at her new home this afternoon.  This sounded like fun, but I was still tired.  He left to go and pick up the items he had won at the silent auction last night.  While he was gone, I got myself going but was still dragging.  When my husband returned, he suggested that getting out of the house might be just what I needed.

So we hopped on the scooter and enjoyed the 50 minute drive to the open house.  We sped past the Bombardier plant where you could see the light rail system and a train that they use for testing purposes.  We drove up and down hills and around curves throughout the rural area.  Being on the scooter, you get to experience the trip in a very different way than by automobile.  As we drove by swampy areas, I could smell the musty vegetation and stale swampy water.  As we drove past farms, I could smell the fresh cut hay even before I saw them cutting it.  I could also smell cattle and horses as we passed by the various farms.  Sometimes I could even smell the unpleasant smell of old roadkill or the odd skunk.  Once we arrived at our destination, it was heartwarming  to see so many people from the church!  They were all so caring and solicitous to both my husband and I.  Our minister's husband made fresh scones and they were cut in half.  Some scone halves were topped with butter and our minister's homemade strawberry jam or grape jelly while others were topped with clotted cream and the strawberry jam or grape jelly.  This was all served with tea or lemonade.  It was a wonderful way to spend the afternoon which passed by much too quickly.  The scooter ride back home seemed to take less time than on the way there.  However, by the time we arrived home, I was very stiff and feeling a little chilled.   I have an opportunity to go and watch my husband and son play softball tonight, but I think I will choose to stay home and go to bed early so that I can handle the teaching tomorrow.

I am a little apprehensive about starting teaching tomorrow because I'm not sure how my stamina will hold out.  I'm also excited to be returning to teaching.  This is another indication of my return to health and moving forward in life.  I've travelled through a difficult year and I'm ready to move on.  I'm wanting to move forward but every time I look in the mirror, I see myself with my very short hair.  It is a constant reminder to me of everything that has happened.  Part of me is proud of surviving lymphoma and my image in the mirror reinforces that pride.  Another part of me sees that woman in the mirror staring back and it feels like a chain that is holding me back from moving forward.  The woman with the short hair (it's too short to do anything with yet) is a constant reminder of everything I want to forget.  But...despite it all I'm excited to be finally moving slowly forward in life.

Today has been a great day.  I've celebrated my return to health with my church family and I've enjoyed the great outdoors as I've zoomed along as a passenger on my husband's scooter.  I'm looking forward to the adventure of this coming week as I see students that I haven't seen since last December.