One Year After Stem Cell Transplant

Where do I begin?! I have so many blessings!! I have energy for DOING! Where do I begin? So I describe my week chronologically and try to remember the thoughts and emotions that were interspersed  with the activity.

Early last week, I decided to plan my annual Halloween dinner and also have it coincide with my first "birthday". I wanted to hold this dinner tomorrow, October 30. Unfortunately, it is during the work week and was going to be difficult to truly celebrate with friends. So after much discussion, Hubby and I decided to hold our annual Halloween dinner this past Saturday (October 27). I didn't get to have the dinner last year as I was in hospital. A year ago, I was feeling ill and awaiting my stem cell transplant. A year ago, I was filled with FEAR and ANXIETY of the unknown. Would I die? Would this process kill me? I am still here and now able to live life fully. I do know there is no cure but I'm feeling healthy now and that is what is important. So...back to earlier last week. I finally had a date for my dinner. Now to make the menu.

I always serve something made from meatloaf. In the past, I've made murdered meatloaf men or an amputated meatloaf foot. I was bored with those ideas. I wanted to make something different. So I came up with making individual bowls of chicken pot pie with a pastry hand with black olives for fingernails rising out of the bowl. Now this piqued my interest and excitement!

Now I needed to think about a potato side dish that would be spooky. I've sculpted a skull using mashed potatoes before but I didn't really want to try that again. So....what about mashed potato ghosts?! I've done that before but used caraway seeds for the eyes and I didn't like that. So what about making the mashed potato ghosts using green peas for eyes. Yes!!! Insert happy dance here as I was having fun thinking and creating.

So...now I have to think about appetizers. In the past, I have always made a jack-o-lantern cheese ball. Boring and predictable. What can I make that would be different? I know....I used the same cheese ball recipe but made individual cheese balls with dark tortilla chips and black olives to make "bat bites". Yes! They'll taste good and hopefully look like bats. Although after I made them and was putting them on the plate, I thought they looked a little like the storm trooper fighter ships in Star Wars. Oh well, too bad. They do look like bats.

Now while planning this meal, I really thought I should include some healthy options. So what's easier than a vegetable tray with some dip. Normally my vegetable dip is made with mayonnaise, shredded onion, honey and a few drops of hot sauce. This time, I substituted mashed avocado with a small amount of mayonnaise instead of all mayonnaise. I worked well and was very tasty. I had a plastic rat with red eyes that I had out as a decoration on Saturday. My friend moved the rat to sit by the avocado dip and voila.....you have rat barf. This was hilariously fun!! Of course, as I was plating the vegetables, I used beet juice from my pickled beets to draw lines in the crevices of the cauliflower to make them look like brains. This was so much fun to plan and execute!

The last item on my menu was a cocktail punch. I didn't have any idea what to make. I looked online for recipes for cocktails and nothing caught my attention. Then I came across a pamphlet that I had of various kinds of cocktails. I knew I wanted vodka to be in the punch. Didn't I find a recipe for a vodka cocktail that used pineapple juice and another kind of liqueur that I didn't have. I really didn't want to make the punch too strong so I decided to substitute orange juice for the liqueur. That would go well with the pineapple juice. Great! I have my punch planned. But......when I made it on Saturday night before my friends arrived, I tried it. Ooooohhhhhhh!!! It was too strong on the vodka!!! So I added frozen pineapple chunks to dilute and soak up some of the alcohol. Then I saw that I had some frozen blueberries. So I added that. I felt like I was over a cauldron (the punch bowl) adding a little bit of this and that. So I added the frozen blueberries just as our friends arrived on Saturday night. When I glanced at the punch bowl, I could see streaks of red throughout the punch coming from the blueberries that I had added. Yay!!! Very ghoulish!! My friend called it Bloodclot Punch. The floating blueberries really did look a little bit like blood clots.

I had lots of fun but this meal took lots of preparation and planning days in advance. I was exhausted by the end of the evening. And...we forgot to include and celebrate my "first" birthday as part of the evening. I knew I had another full day the next day, on Sunday. Weeks ago, I had agreed to make an announcement at the morning church service and also to provide 3 dozen cookies for the Covenenting Service for my new minister in the afternoon. I was very tired and exhausted by late yesterday (Sunday).

My plan for today was to rest. Take a breather after the many days of activity, fun and busyness. My plan was to sleep in. Somehow that never happens. I was awake early. By mid-morning today, I noticed the rain had stopped and there were leaves on the yard that needed to be raked. So I bundled up in several layers and went out to rake the leaves. I made sure that I wore one of my masks and had gardening gloves on. I'm sure the wet leaves would have some bacteria and mold on them. Once was outdoors raking, I did notice the leaves were full of moisture and very damp. Some were downright wet! I got the majority raked by mid-day but I was overheated and tired. I took off the top jacket (I still had 3 more layers under the jacket). I put away my rake and put the 2 bags of leaves in the garage. I will take them to the city composting depot tomorrow.

I then sat on the patio and enjoyed the coolness of the day. While sitting on the patio, I could hear the leaves audibly dropping onto the ground. I saw blue jays in the trees and could hear their raucous screech as they communicated. Then I saw one feed another. It was beautiful! The brilliant contrast of their blue and white plumage was breathtaking. The one blue jay very gently leaned forward with his/her beak and fed the other blue jay. I was stunned by the gentleness and care. I could also hear chickadees chattering away and then the loud crows in the area with their piercing caws echoing through the air. The crows' sound triggered the memory of waking up in the mornings at my grandpa's farm back in the 1970's. While I continued to sit on the patio, I could hear the light drizzle begin as the rain drops hit the leaves in the trees. What a soothing sound! The wind also was calming as it rustled through the leaves of the trees. The wind combined with the damply weighted leaves caused more leaves to float to the ground. While I sat on the patio relaxing, I chuckled as a big red maple leaf dive bombed me as it was blown through the air and landed on the patio near me.

As my eyes gazed around the patio, I noticed our garden hose sitting on the patio table. Hubby was waiting for it to warm up enough for the hose to be pliable that he could wind it up to put away for the winter. As I looked at the hose on the table, I could see water droplets brilliantly shining as they hung from the hose. I could even see the droplets glisten and grow as the weight of the additional moisture caused the drops to eventually fall to join the moisture on the patio. This was so serene and peaceful! A perfect little retreat to relax after a very busy time. As I focused on my body, I could feel the it relaxing and sinking heavily into a state of total relaxation. This continued as I watched and listened to the natural surroundings. I have always loved nature and camping. This morning suited me fine for the moment until I got chilled. Then I made my way inside the warmth and comfort of the house. I poured myself a nice hot cup of mint tea and gave myself permission to read for the afternoon.

My first birthday is tomorrow. How will I celebrate? I think Hubby and I will have dinner out. Maybe with some friends. I don't even know what restaurant we may choose to support. I know it will be in our downtown and it will be a local restaurant....not a franchise of a chain....but a truly local eatery.

I am feeling so blessed! I believe prayers have been answered and given me a respite from the lymphoma. I am feeling so very healthy and truly try to enjoy each day with family and friends. Life is absolutely great!!!

The Extraordinary Amongst The Ordinary

This past week has passed very quickly. My life has settled into an ordinary rhythm with just ordinary tasks. I spent the early part of this week working in my gardens and finally catching up on some of the weeding that has been neglected for years. At the same time, I put my flowerbeds to rest for the winter. On Tuesday, I harvested the rest of my beets and cooked up a pumpkin that had been given to us. On Wednesday, I made curried pumpkin soup and cleaned the beets. I still need to finish freezing the pumpkin puree and I believe I will make some beet pickles with the beets that I have cleaned. Also on Wednesday night, I went to dinner and a musical show with a couple of my friends from the "Grace Notes". While I was at the concert, BAM...exhaustion hit me mid-week and mid-show. I have been struggling ever since. I listened to my body Wednesday night and left the concert during the intermission to go home and go to bed. Yesterday, Thursday, I did our groceries and errands. It wiped me out. Today was a warm Autumn day and I took advantage of it to do some laundry and dry it on the line outside. I also mowed the lawn and took the opportunity to mulch the leaves with the lawn mower.

After cutting the grass, I decided to rest on the patio with a cup of tea sitting on the table at my elbow. The tea patiently sat there waiting for me to sip it. The wasps were sluggish and "dumb". It was easy to swat and kill them. While I sat in my lounger on the patio, I could hear the wind dancing through the trees. I found this very soothing while the leaves chattered in the wind. There were gusts of wind which caused the leaves to blow through the air and run across the green, lush grass in the wind. While sitting and watching all this, my clothing on the line caught my attention as it bucked and danced in the wind while it dried them. While I listened to the wind, it was accompanied by my wind chimes. These soothing sounds were abruptly interrupted by a motorized tractor labouring in my neighbour's yard and also by a train horn from the nearby railway tracks. I always have a sense of relief in the silence which is broken by the wind rushing through the trees.

As I mentioned, I was hit with exhaustion part way through the week. It manifests itself in sore hands, achy muscles, weariness, restlessness and a general feeling of being unsettled. As I sat on the patio, I was still exhausted but I was soothed by the surrounding bits of nature. When I first sat down in my lounger, the sun was gently warming me as it seeped through my sweatpants and into my weary bones. As I surveyed the patio, I noticed the various items that still need to be brought inside and put away for the winter. I looked at my little garden statue sitting on the patio. It was given to me many years ago as a Mother's Day present. The mother, sitting on her bench holding her baby cherub, is cracked and broken but her baby cherub is still whole and healthy. I look at this statue and it is a mirror of how I feel. The last several years have caused my body to be cracked and broken but my children are healthy and whole as I have tried to protect them from some of the harsh truths of life. Anyway, back to surveying my patio and I noticed another sculpture and several lanterns that need to be brought inside before winter. Then I noticed my teal coloured metal loon decoration. As the wind blew through it today, it spun and wobbled crazily. I found it hypnotizing and very relaxing to watch it spin. Soon it too, will have to be put away before winter. Our fire pot also needs to be brought out of the elements. I don't believe we will have any more little campfires this season. At the same time, my garden bistro set needs to be put away along with our patio table and chairs.

I sat long enough on the patio that the sun moved further west and my chair was now in the shade. I realized that there was a chill in the air to remind me it is Autumn and not Summer. On a day like today, I am happy to be off work and able to enjoy this last fling of a warm day. I was able to see the trees were getting ready to sleep for the winter. The leaves are drying out and curling on the branches. As they are partially dried, this explains the chattering sound as the wind blows through them and attempts to tear them off the trees.

Our bird feeder is still hanging in the tree but less birds are around to partake of the free meal. Today, a pair of mourning doves were grazing and eating seeds under the feeder. While they enjoyed their meal, a fat grey squirrel ran near them and the mourning doves scattered. The squirrel made its way to our pear tree and then over to the oak tree where it seemed to find some acorns. After the squirrel was near the oak tree, the mourning doves settled back down and returned to pecking at the fresh, cut grass. I could also hear some chickadees chattering away at the same time as sparrows chirped nearby.

Along with all this beautiful nature, my wind chimes were creating soothing and slightly sad music in the background. While listening to them, I recognized that the minor third was most prevalent in today's music. These wind chimes were a souvenir from our trip to PEI in 2014. The stained glass pendulum always reminds me of the ocean water and white breakers of the waves. The stained glass is full of swirling blues and whites. With the wind chimes and the opportunity to enjoy the nature in my backyard, it was a lazy, calming and meditating sort of afternoon. Other people might feel this way on a hot, sunny beach at the ocean's edge, but I like the moderate temperatures and green grass. In my backyard, I do miss the sounds of the waves. But today, if I listened closely, I could just hear it in the gusts of wind in the trees.

As I mulled my thoughts this afternoon, I remembered my former neighbour from when we lived in the country. She passed away very recently. Most of what I know about gardening, I learned from her. She used to have a wide variety of vegetables and fruits and used her bountiful harvests for freezing and canning. She was always a generous woman and shared her knowledge and bounty with me and my children. A few times, I did some hand stitching on her quilts with her. She was a lovely, warm and loyal Christian woman. I have many fond memories and am saddened to know that she has passed away. She will be remembered.

Post Stem Cell and Adjusting to the New Normal

After my maintenance treatment of Rituxan, I was pleased to see there were less ill effects. There was no infection in the injection site as I feared may happen. I had a couple of days of headaches and about a week of being really tired. However, it did not stop me from enjoying the late summer weather.

 My right eye has continued to water non-stop. I had my appointment with my ophthalmologist this past Wednesday. He carefully examined my eyes and there was great news. There were no growths. There were no scratches or issues with my eyes. Everything was stable and healthy. In his opinion, the stem cell transplant has affected my eyes' ability to lubricate and secrete enough tears. I have "dry eyes". So I am now having to permanently use eye drops to help lubricate my eyes. Over time, my eyes will stop watering but I will need to continue to use the drops. I can live with this.

In the past couple of weeks, I have enjoyed being busy. My church had a fundraising garage sale. It was different this year in that they rented tables to people who wanted to sell their "stuff". The people who rented tables got to keep the money from their items that they sold. BUT....they were also responsible for removing any unsold items. This meant the church/committee was not responsible for disposal of garbage, electronic waste, etc. The church also sold lunch and refreshments as part of the fundraiser. So I decided to rent a table and declutter some of my house. Last year at this time, I had gone through my music collection and put together piles of flute music, piano music and vocal music that I was willing to part with. At my table, I had baskets of music for sale. I was pleased with what I sold. Yes, some of my articles came back home with me but they just went back into the closets and cupboards where they came from. I was at the sale from 9 a.m. through to about 2:00 p.m. It wiped it me out and I was too tired to do much the next day.

I have been busy in my gardens harvesting tomatoes, beans, garlic, parsley, sage and onions. I need to do a major clean up as some of the gardens have not been touched this summer. Lots of weeding to be done. I am slowly catching up. Throughout the summer, I have been able to putter around and do the weeding but it is always dependent on my energy levels. I'm noticing that my endurance is getting better. I really enjoy working outdoors. I listen to the birds. I've had chickadees perch almost beside my shoulder in the trees. They chirp at me as I pull weeds. This past week, I cleaned up an area of the flowerbed that hasn't been touched in a few years. I was able to dig out some persistent weeds and tubers of plants. I transplanted some new plants into the area.

While I was away in August, I had one cherry tomato plant that exploded in growth. I have been picking my tomatoes regularly as they ripen. I have made lots of tomato sauce and frozen many of the tomatoes. The weather cooled down this past week and so I decided to harvest the rest of the tomatoes off this one plant (I still have 5 other cherry tomato plants to tackle). I ended up with at least 16 quarts of green tomatoes. On Saturday, I made and canned a batch (8 quarts of green tomatoes) of Green Tomato Chow Chow. It is a recipe that I use out of our church cookbook that we published in 2004. The recipes in the book were all original or "heirloom" recipes (handed down through the families). A lady in my congregation indicated the Green Tomato Chow Chow was her great-grandmother's recipe. Her great-grandmother had lived in New Brunswick. On Saturday, the house smelled wonderful with the scents of onion, tomato, cider vinegar. This is like a chunky relish and it has a spicy bite to it. I love it on sandwiches, hot dogs, hamburgers and on top of meats. I will be starting another batch tonight to use up the rest of the green tomatoes I harvested on Friday.

It is raining here today and is supposed to rain tomorrow as well. This will give me the opportunity to clean the house and catch up on indoor "chores". Thanksgiving is approaching this coming weekend and I want to get some baking done for that as well. In the last couple of weeks, I've been enjoying life with friends. There have been some small campfires here and at our friends' home. I find it mesmerizing and relaxing to watch the flames dance around the logs. I love seeing the blue hues as gases are released from the wood. It is the time of year though, where I feel my hips getting cold while we are around the fire. Out come the old blankets and afghans to wrap around me so I can enjoy these last days of summer.

Yesterday, Hubby took me out on The Goldwing for a brief ride. The weather was forecasted to be overcast with sunny breaks but no rain until late in the evening. The temperature yesterday afternoon was supposed to reach 15 degrees Celsius. We bundled up with in layers and with the inner linings in our motorcycle jackets. Off we went. We travelled north of the city so that we could see the changing leaves. We will have to go out again in a week or so because the leaves were just starting to change colour. We travelled through one of our favourite areas near Desert Lake. The road is full of hills and is twisting with some sharp turns. As you come over the top of a hill, you see a lake at the bottom and the road will turn 90 degrees to go around the tip of the lake. It is a beautiful ride. As we climbed a hill on this road, we saw 4 deer off to the right grazing on some uncut grass near a cottage. A little further along, we had to slow down as rafter (flock) of wild turkeys crossed the road. As we continued our ride, a mist developed. Enough moisture was falling that my helmet and the

windscreen on the bike were covered in water. Hubby turned towards home. Once we arrived back in the city, we went to our local butcher and picked up a piece of ribeye steak to barbecue for dinner. I didn't realize it until this morning, but yesterday was my 11 month celebration of my stem cell transplant. Hubby recognized the significance of the date yesterday. Hence, the steak and fun ride to celebrate life.

I also finally had my hair cut in the style I had before my diagnosis a year ago. It has taken this long for the hair to grow in even enough to style. I had it trimmed in June but that was just to even the hair out. My hair dresser indicated on Thursday that the hair is still coming in but she was able to cut it and make it look good. She praised me on my patience while it grew in. I was not liking how it was bushy as it got longer. After she cut my hair on Thursday, the floor of the salon was filled with tight, red curls. I've gone back to short hair on the sides and back with the hair being longer on top. This way, I will still have my natural waves (maybe tight curls) on the top. I don't like hair hanging in my face and it had got long enough on the sides that the curls were curling into my face and eyes. I'm happy. I never really complained bitterly about my hair looking bushy and a bit like a clown because....it's hair! It was better than not having any hair and being a cue ball.

So I sign off on this dreary day. It's time to get to "work", be ac
After my maintenance treatment of Rituxan, I was pleased to see there were less ill effects. There was no infection in the injection site as I feared may happen. I had a couple of days of headaches and about a week of being really tired. However, it did not stop me from enjoying the late summer weather.

 My right eye has continued to water non-stop. I had my appointment with my ophthalmologist this past Wednesday. He carefully examined my eyes and there was great news. There were no growths. There were no scratches or issues with my eyes. Everything was stable and healthy. In his opinion, the stem cell transplant has affected my eyes' ability to lubricate and secrete enough tears. I have "dry eyes". So I am now having to permanently use eye drops to help lubricate my eyes. Over time, my eyes will stop watering but I will need to continue to use the drops. I can live with this.

In the past couple of weeks, I have enjoyed being busy. My church had a fundraising garage sale. It was different this year in that they rented tables to people who wanted to sell their "stuff". The people who rented tables got to keep the money from their items that they sold. BUT....they were also responsible for removing any unsold items. This meant the church/committee was not responsible for disposal of garbage, electronic waste, etc. The church also sold lunch and refreshments as part of the fundraiser. So I decided to rent a table and declutter some of my house. Last year at this time, I had gone through my music collection and put together piles of flute music, piano music and vocal music that I was willing to part with. At my table, I had baskets of music for sale. I was pleased with what I sold. Yes, some of my articles came back home with me but they just went back into the closets and cupboards where they came from. I was at the sale from 9 a.m. through to about 2:00 p.m. It wiped it me out and I was too tired to do much the next day.

I have been busy in my gardens harvesting tomatoes, beans, garlic, parsley, sage and onions. I need to do a major clean up as some of the gardens have not been touched this summer. Lots of weeding to be done. I am slowly catching up. Throughout the summer, I have been able to putter around and do the weeding but it is always dependent on my energy levels. I'm noticing that my endurance is getting better. I really enjoy working outdoors. I listen to the birds. I've had chickadees perch almost beside my shoulder in the trees. They chirp at me as I pull weeds. This past week, I cleaned up an area of the flowerbed that hasn't been touched in a few years. I was able to dig out some persistent weeds and tubers of plants. I transplanted some new plants into the area.

While I was away in August, I had one cherry tomato plant that exploded in growth. I have been picking my tomatoes regularly as they ripen. I have made lots of tomato sauce and frozen many of the tomatoes. The weather cooled down this past week and so I decided to harvest the rest of the tomatoes off this one plant (I still have 5 other cherry tomato plants to tackle). I ended up with at least 16 quarts of green tomatoes. On Saturday, I made and canned a batch (8 quarts of green tomatoes) of Green Tomato Chow Chow. It is a recipe that I use out of our church cookbook that we published in 2004. The recipes in the book were all original or "heirloom" recipes (handed down through the families). A lady in my congregation indicated the Green Tomato Chow Chow was her great-grandmother's recipe. Her great-grandmother had lived in New Brunswick. On Saturday, the house smelled wonderful with the scents of onion, tomato, cider vinegar. This is like a chunky relish and it has a spicy bite to it. I love it on sandwiches, hot dogs, hamburgers and on top of meats. I will be starting another batch tonight to use up the rest of the green tomatoes I harvested on Friday.

It is raining here today and is supposed to rain tomorrow as well. This will give me the opportunity to clean the house and catch up on indoor "chores". Thanksgiving is approaching this coming weekend and I want to get some baking done for that as well. In the last couple of weeks, I've been enjoying life with friends. There have been some small campfires here and at our friends' home. I find it mesmerizing and relaxing to watch the flames dance around the logs. I love seeing the blue hues as gases are released from the wood. It is the time of year though, where I feel my hips getting cold while we are around the fire. Out come the old blankets and afghans to wrap around me so I can enjoy these last days of summer.

Yesterday, Hubby took me out on The Goldwing for a brief ride. The weather was forecasted to be overcast with sunny breaks but no rain until late in the evening. The temperature yesterday afternoon was supposed to reach 15 degrees Celsius. We bundled up with in layers and with the inner linings in our motorcycle jackets. Off we went. We travelled north of the city so that we could see the changing leaves. We will have to go out again in a week or so because the leaves were just starting to change colour. We travelled through one of our favourite areas near Desert Lake. The road is full of hills and is twisting with some sharp turns. As you come over the top of a hill, you see a lake at the bottom and the road will turn 90 degrees to go around the tip of the lake. It is a beautiful ride. As we climbed a hill on this road, we saw 4 deer off to the right grazing on some uncut grass near a cottage. A little further along, we had to slow down as rafter (flock) of wild turkeys crossed the road. As we continued our ride, a mist developed. Enough moisture was falling that my helmet and the windscreen on the bike were covered in water. Hubby turned towards home. Once we arrived back in the city, we went to our local butcher and picked up a piece of rib eye steak to barbecue for dinner. I didn't realize it until this morning, but yesterday was my 11 month celebration of my stem cell transplant. Hubby recognized the significance of the date yesterday. Hence, the steak and fun ride to celebrate life.

I also finally had my hair cut in the style I had before my diagnosis a year ago. It has taken this long for the hair to grow in even enough to style. I had it trimmed in June but that was just to even the hair out. My hair dresser indicated on Thursday that the hair is still coming in but she was able to cut it and make it look good. She praised me on my patience while it grew in. I was not liking how it was bushy as it got longer. After she cut my hair on Thursday, the floor of the salon was filled with tight, red curls. I've gone back to short hair on the sides and back with the hair being longer on top. This way, I will still have my natural waves (maybe tight curls) on the top. I don't like hair hanging in my face and it had got long enough on the sides that the curls were curling into my face and eyes. I'm happy. I never really complained bitterly about my hair looking bushy and a bit like a clown because....it's hair! It was better than not having any hair and being a cue ball.

So I sign off on this dreary day. It's time to get to "work", be active and enjoy the simple things in life.