I can't believe that it has been 4 weeks since my last post! Time flies when life is great!! So we had our flooring installed (most of the house), my daughter was home for a week (wonderful, wonderful visit), I continued to fund raise for Relay for Life which was last night, I had a chest CT scan and I'm unpacking all the boxes of "stuff" that was packed up for the floors to be installed.
It's been a crazy and hectic month but I've had a grand time! Throw in a few parties, barbecues, bike rides and life is very, very full. The best thing of the many best things was the news this past Wednesday that my Follicular Lymphoma is currently in full remission!!! Woo Hoo!!! Do we know how long it will be in remission? No, but that's OK. I am all about living fully in the moment and enjoying every single minute.
Last night was the Relay for Life event. I had set my fund raising goal at $2,000. I am very pleased that I surpassed that amount. As I walked the track last night, I couldn't help but compare my energy to a year ago. Last year, I was only able to walk about 2 laps and was at the event from 5:30-8:30 p.m. Last night, I walked a number of laps and I was there from 5:30-11:45. This is how I measure my progress in energy levels. Hubby and I celebrated my good health and remission by walking and flirting and dancing (kind of) to the music. It was a special night. The Luminary Lap is always an emotional time for us and last night was no different. We remembered 3 close family members who are no longer with us due to cancer. Hubby had made a luminary in honour of me (not in memory). As I looked at all the luminaries that lined the track and lit the way after the stadium lights were turned off, I felt anger. It's not often that I have had that surge of rage about how unfair my journey has been or that I have been afflicted with lymphoma. But as I walked the track and struggled with tears in my eyes, I also had anger deep within. It took me by surprise. I acknowledged it but I didn't dwell within it. When we left to come home, I was not in as happy a place as I normally am. As I think about my emotions, I am coming to the conclusion that all the emotions will be coming to the surface now that I have been granted good health. Kind of like the wake of a boat. When a motor boat goes full throttle and then stops, the wake can come up and swamp the back of the boat. Perhaps now that I've been given the great news of remission, some of the other negative emotions that have been restrained unconsciously and consciously, are now straggling through to the forefront of my being. Who knows, but the anger I felt last night regarding cancer certainly took me by surprise. It was like "Where did that come from?!"
While my floors were being installed, I chose to spend my time outdoors to avoid the dust and dirt. A year ago, I would not have been able to consistently weed my garden. This year, I've been able to dig and weed, till and plant my gardens. It is wonderful to have energy and feel healthy. As I write this post today, I'm feeling very tired. So I'm giving myself a day off.....kind of. It's Giveaway Day in my city today and so I put out my free items at the curb around 7:30 this morning. I made turkey soup yesterday, so I divided it up into single servings and froze it this morning. A large load of laundry has been done and is hanging on the line. We are have a wonderfully warm first day of summer and the warm breeze is causing my laundry to gently flap on the line. This is what I call living in the moment. Enjoying all the little things. I am so blessed and I truly believe that all the prayers said for me and by me have been answered. A cure? Not yet, but I am blessed with the ability to recognize the good things, feelings and people around me. Thank you God!!
Living fully in each moment.....seizing the day....carpe diem. This is what makes life worth living and enjoying. ENJOYING!!!! Bring summer on! I'm ready!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment