Tonight is my son's Grade 12 Graduation Ceremony. I feel so proud of him as he has grown into a caring, considerate and fine young man ready to take on the world. I am filled with nostalgia as I relive memories from long ago that doesn't seem so long ago. I am filled with joy for being healthy enough and strong enough to attend his graduation tonight.
Eighteen years ago, I was holding a three month old baby boy. We lived in our first house which had very little insulation but had room for little children to run indoors as well as outdoors. We had almost an acre lot. The summers were very hot as the windows and walls were thin. We spent most of our days outdoors in order to keep cool. I had a very large vegetable garden and my son used to like being put in the wheel barrow and wheeled around. As a baby, I would have him in the old steel baby buggy we had or he would be in the playpen in the shade with the mosquito netting on. As he grew, he learned to pick the peas and beans from the garden. He enjoyed eating them raw and would help himself to snacks as he played outside.
The house had a slightly open floor plan. The kitchen was separated from the dining area by a half counter and the dining area was separated from the living room by a half wall. The kitchen/dining area had a long wall that created a hallway off of which was the nursery (the small bedroom), a linen closet (we used as a pantry) and a bathroom. At the end of the hallway was another bedroom and the hallway began in the living room. The combination of the kitchen/dining room/living room and hallway made for a long oval circle which my son loved to use as a track as he became a toddler and preschooler. During the Summer Olympics in 1996 (I think?) he ran around the track and pretended to be Donovan Bailey, Canada's premier sprinter at that time. During the Olympics he also pretended to hurdle boxes that he laid out along the "track". He would jump off our sturdy coffee table as he pretended to be an Olympic diver. The "track" in our house was also used as a stock car track. My son had a plastic racing helmet which he would put on. I had made him racing flags using the appropriate coloured felt and dowelling. He would bring out the racing flags and inevitably he would hand them to me, my husband or his grandparents to wave and start the race. He was always a local driver Bill "Moon" Mullen who was my son's hero. He would vroom, vroom and then be off as the green flag was waved. I can't count the number of times my son would race around the "track". He would even convince his grandmother to race with him! She was always tired after her visits.
We inherited a little house on stilts which we put in the yard for our son to play in. It had a little window with a swinging door that could be latched shut from the inside. This building became our son's ice cream hut. He loved to play in there and then open up for business. We would come up to the window and receive our make-believe ice cream cones.
As our son was little, he would sit on his father's lap as they cut the grass using the riding lawnmower. My son thought this was wonderful as he got to help steer the lawn tractor. Somehow he would again be pretending to drive the race car as they cut the grass. The yard was where he learned to bat a ball using a plastic bat. Although he had been "playing baseball" since he started to walk. In the winter, he would use an empty paper towel tube and a rolled up ball of tinfoil to play baseball indoors. His grandma would toss the ball to him and he would try to hit the tinfoil ball with the tube. We were always proud parents when he hit the ball. When he graduated to swinging the plastic bat and hitting the plastic ball in our yard, we would cheer and he would again pretend to run the bases as if he'd hit a long home run.
One summer, my husband decided to introduce our son to golf. He took an old driver of his and cut the shaft down so it was a child sized driver. Our son hit the golf balls around the yard for hours as he tried to get some lift on the ball. One time, my mother was visiting and we were sitting on the back deck while our son was hitting the golf ball around the yard. The only rule he had was that he could not go in front of the house to hit the ball. That was our way of keeping him away from the busy country road and also keeping our cars safe in the driveway. There was plenty of room for him to hit the ball in other areas of the lot. Anyway, we were visiting on the deck and we heard a big "BOOM". Our son was not in sight and I had a sinking feeling that he was out in front of the house. My husband went down the side walkway towards the driveway. My son was terrified and had a look of extreme remorse on his young face. He had hit the golf ball and it hit our car just under the rear passenger window on the driver's side. There was a perfect hollow on the door panel where a golf ball would fit. That dent was there even when we traded the car in years later. I was just revisiting this memory with my son the other day and he admitted that he had been getting "great lift" on the ball and had decided that he could hit it over the car. At the time, I was glad that it hit our car and not my mother's!
We have spent many years watching our son play baseball throughout the summer. He loves the game. He started umpiring and is becoming a very good umpire. Coaches have approached us, knowing the umpire is our son, and have been effusive in their compliments in regards to his control of the game and patience with the young players in house league games.
I have so many wonderful memories from my son as a baby, toddler, preschooler and all the way to being a young man. He's graduating tonight and I am so proud of who he has become!
Thursday, 28 June 2012
A Tired Day (Wed.)
I struggled today. I've been fairly active and able to do more around the house lately. On Sunday I realized that this week was going to be a real test of my ability to get things done and prioritize. I had a function to attend tonight in support of my husband. I was looking forward to this event as I do every year. To me it was not an option to miss the event so it was a priority. Today I also had some laundry to get done, some grocery shopping to do in preparation for the long weekend and I wanted to clean my bathrooms in preparation for family who are coming to visit and attend our son's graduation. I don't know if it is the pressure of getting prepared for graduation and the long weekend, but I was already overtired before the day even began.
I was able to get the shopping done with my son's assistance. My mind and memory were not working well today at all. Even with writing things down to remind myself, I kept forgetting. My son helped me keep it all straight and on track. I got the laundry done and hung outside. And then I ran out of energy completely. I felt dizzy and nauseous which still happens when I have done too much. It was only 12 noon. I still had the bathrooms that I wanted to clean but I knew I did not have the energy to do it. I also knew that I still wanted to support my husband at his event tonight. So I decided to put the bathrooms off until tomorrow and I laid down to rest. I slept for two hours!
When I awoke, I did not feel refreshed. I was still really tired. I got myself ready for the evening and as I brushed my teeth, I struggled with my gag reflex and the memory of struggling to brush my teeth during the days immediately following my chemo. I sat on the patio and read a book until it was time to head to my husband's event. I was a little more alert but still feeling dragged out. I'm assuming it is my body being tired after I've had three consecutive good and busy days.
I went to the "party" but I did not have enough energy to stand and mingle at the beginning. So I found the table where we were seated and sat down. People were really understanding and came over to visit. I enjoyed myself and I also enjoyed the meal. While the speeches and presentations took place, I was very proud of my husband and glad that I had attended the event. He has been such a rock for me throughout the last eight months and in the process he still did an amazing job at work and received a promotion. I'm always happy to see him in his element at these functions as he appreciates and applauds the employees and volunteers. However, at about 8:45 p.m. I started to tire quickly. The formal part of the evening finished around 9:45 and I tried to mingle with the others out on the terrace and in the main room. Unfortunately, I started to feel unwell. By this I mean, I started feeling dizzy and ill. I said my farewells and made my way to the van. The drive home seemed to take a long time as I concentrated on the road.
It was so nice to be out and see people that I haven't seen since this time last year. Everyone was so supportive and encouraging. People were complimentary about the blog and how insightful it has been for them and how they were able to walk with me every step of the way. These comments came at a time when I've been questionning whether to keep the blog going. When I started the blog, I decided I would write it from the time that I discovered the lymphoma through to the time that I was cured of the lymphoma. Although I'm in remission, I'm not deemed cured until five to seven years from now when I'll be cancer free for the whole time. The blog will still meet my need to express how my body continues to get stronger as well as any setbacks. The blog still helps me keep life in perspective.
I was able to get the shopping done with my son's assistance. My mind and memory were not working well today at all. Even with writing things down to remind myself, I kept forgetting. My son helped me keep it all straight and on track. I got the laundry done and hung outside. And then I ran out of energy completely. I felt dizzy and nauseous which still happens when I have done too much. It was only 12 noon. I still had the bathrooms that I wanted to clean but I knew I did not have the energy to do it. I also knew that I still wanted to support my husband at his event tonight. So I decided to put the bathrooms off until tomorrow and I laid down to rest. I slept for two hours!
When I awoke, I did not feel refreshed. I was still really tired. I got myself ready for the evening and as I brushed my teeth, I struggled with my gag reflex and the memory of struggling to brush my teeth during the days immediately following my chemo. I sat on the patio and read a book until it was time to head to my husband's event. I was a little more alert but still feeling dragged out. I'm assuming it is my body being tired after I've had three consecutive good and busy days.
I went to the "party" but I did not have enough energy to stand and mingle at the beginning. So I found the table where we were seated and sat down. People were really understanding and came over to visit. I enjoyed myself and I also enjoyed the meal. While the speeches and presentations took place, I was very proud of my husband and glad that I had attended the event. He has been such a rock for me throughout the last eight months and in the process he still did an amazing job at work and received a promotion. I'm always happy to see him in his element at these functions as he appreciates and applauds the employees and volunteers. However, at about 8:45 p.m. I started to tire quickly. The formal part of the evening finished around 9:45 and I tried to mingle with the others out on the terrace and in the main room. Unfortunately, I started to feel unwell. By this I mean, I started feeling dizzy and ill. I said my farewells and made my way to the van. The drive home seemed to take a long time as I concentrated on the road.
It was so nice to be out and see people that I haven't seen since this time last year. Everyone was so supportive and encouraging. People were complimentary about the blog and how insightful it has been for them and how they were able to walk with me every step of the way. These comments came at a time when I've been questionning whether to keep the blog going. When I started the blog, I decided I would write it from the time that I discovered the lymphoma through to the time that I was cured of the lymphoma. Although I'm in remission, I'm not deemed cured until five to seven years from now when I'll be cancer free for the whole time. The blog will still meet my need to express how my body continues to get stronger as well as any setbacks. The blog still helps me keep life in perspective.
Tuesday, 26 June 2012
A Fulfilling and Satisfying Life - Part 2
In the first of this series of three posts, I concentrated on the first of the three circles that make up our being. As a very brief review, the three circles are separate but overlap to create a mutual centre which is our soul or deepest being. The three circles are Physical, Emotional and Spiritual. Last time I talked about the Physical. Today I'm going to focus on the Emotional part of our being.
The word "emotional" can evoke many different meanings and feelings to people. If someone is emotional, it may mean they are out of control and full of negative emotions such as anger, fear or hurt. It may also mean a person is very dramatic and emotes their emotions to an extreme. Emotional may mean that someone is sensitive which in itself can mean different things. Sensitive may refer to a person's ability to be receptive to the emotions, auras or "vibes" of other people. Websters Dictionary defines emotional as "pertaining to or characterized by emotion; excitable; easily moved; sensational; as, an emotional nature." In the lecture, the professor referred to our deep emotional selves where we subconsciously feel emotion but may not or will not acknowledge it. We need to nurture our emotional selves in order to live a whole and satisfying life. How do we nurture our emotional selves you ask? Does this mean we have no control over our emotions and we can just freely express all our emotions without restraint? No, this is not what the professor was encouraging. The professor was suggesting that we feel deeply and we acknowledge to ourselves what we are feeling. This may mean taking action in order to have "right relationships" with people. This means if someone hurts you deeply, you have the strength to make yourself vulnerable and talk to the person who has hurt you. This means talking to the person in such a way that the conversation itself is not hurtful to the other person. Perhaps they did not mean to hurt you. Nurturing our emotional selves also means recognizing the benefits of loving. The other day, I was reading The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo. His quote at the beginning of the daily entry was very profound and, to me, speaks to the importance of our emotional self. "The Love we show saves the Love we hide, the way a sprig in sun feeds its unseen root."
In our society, we are often so distracted by personal electronic devices, computers, internet and activities that we do not take time to feel deeply. We don't show "love" (or respect, politeness, courtesy, etc.) and if I refer to Mark Nepo's quote, we then kill and shrivel up the love deep inside just like roots can shrivel up and die. We can show our love through small acts of kindness such as holding a door open for someone at the shopping mall or asking the lonely widow or widower down the street to come for dinner. Even just letting a car out into the line up in front of you as you drive, is in itself an act of love. I know for myself when I show a small act of kindness, I feel warm inside. That is the deep root of love within my own emotional being. On the flip side, I also know that if I am grumpy or having a "bad" day, my thoughts are not very loving and I probably will not go out of my way to be kind. I'll be too busy. I'll be in too much of a hurry because my day is going poorly and I'll be distracted by that. On those kinds of days, I know that I feel an emptiness within because my deep emotions of who I am have not been nourished. I also know that there have been times when I will make a conscious decision to turn my day around and make myself vulnerable by expressing either through actions or words the love or kindness within me. We really can make ourselves feel better by caring about others more than ourselves.
While I was sick with cancer and too physically weak to "do", I took the opportunity of sitting still to think about my life. I thought about what was good, what needed improvement and my chosen career. Everything about my life went under the microscope. I realized that teaching private music lessons (piano, flute, voice and theory) nurtured my emotional self by giving encouragement, information, kindness and yes, love to my students. My review of my existence reinforced the importance of being open and reaching out to give to others. Again to refer to Mark Nepo, it is like the flower or the blade of grass that grows taller and longer above ground but at the same time the roots reach deeper into the earth for the source of living water.
So how do we nurture our emotional selves? For me, it's taking quiet time each day to connect with myself. To centre myself. It's recognizing and acknowledging to myself that I may feel hurt. It's trying to be flexible enough with my emotional viewpoint to look at the hurtful situation from the other person's emotional viewpoint. We can nurture ourselves emotionally just by deciding that the "hurt" may not even need to be acted on or discussed. That just by acknowledging it is enough. In order to nurture our emotional selves, we may have to make some hard decisions regarding the kinds of relationships we have. We may have to act and limit the exposure to some individuals. This took me over 30 years to figure out. Once I limited the exposure to a negative individual, my emotional self felt less bruised and more whole. It is beneficial to take stock and review the influences on our emotional selves. This may mean scrutinizing relationships, our current employment, our physical diet of what we eat, our sleep patterns and our thought patterns. This is not an easy exercise but it really does help to keep our emotional selves whole and healthy.
Next time, I'll be talking about the third circle which is our spiritual being. In the meantime, I'm going to continue to reach out to others in kindness, compassion and love.
The word "emotional" can evoke many different meanings and feelings to people. If someone is emotional, it may mean they are out of control and full of negative emotions such as anger, fear or hurt. It may also mean a person is very dramatic and emotes their emotions to an extreme. Emotional may mean that someone is sensitive which in itself can mean different things. Sensitive may refer to a person's ability to be receptive to the emotions, auras or "vibes" of other people. Websters Dictionary defines emotional as "pertaining to or characterized by emotion; excitable; easily moved; sensational; as, an emotional nature." In the lecture, the professor referred to our deep emotional selves where we subconsciously feel emotion but may not or will not acknowledge it. We need to nurture our emotional selves in order to live a whole and satisfying life. How do we nurture our emotional selves you ask? Does this mean we have no control over our emotions and we can just freely express all our emotions without restraint? No, this is not what the professor was encouraging. The professor was suggesting that we feel deeply and we acknowledge to ourselves what we are feeling. This may mean taking action in order to have "right relationships" with people. This means if someone hurts you deeply, you have the strength to make yourself vulnerable and talk to the person who has hurt you. This means talking to the person in such a way that the conversation itself is not hurtful to the other person. Perhaps they did not mean to hurt you. Nurturing our emotional selves also means recognizing the benefits of loving. The other day, I was reading The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo. His quote at the beginning of the daily entry was very profound and, to me, speaks to the importance of our emotional self. "The Love we show saves the Love we hide, the way a sprig in sun feeds its unseen root."
In our society, we are often so distracted by personal electronic devices, computers, internet and activities that we do not take time to feel deeply. We don't show "love" (or respect, politeness, courtesy, etc.) and if I refer to Mark Nepo's quote, we then kill and shrivel up the love deep inside just like roots can shrivel up and die. We can show our love through small acts of kindness such as holding a door open for someone at the shopping mall or asking the lonely widow or widower down the street to come for dinner. Even just letting a car out into the line up in front of you as you drive, is in itself an act of love. I know for myself when I show a small act of kindness, I feel warm inside. That is the deep root of love within my own emotional being. On the flip side, I also know that if I am grumpy or having a "bad" day, my thoughts are not very loving and I probably will not go out of my way to be kind. I'll be too busy. I'll be in too much of a hurry because my day is going poorly and I'll be distracted by that. On those kinds of days, I know that I feel an emptiness within because my deep emotions of who I am have not been nourished. I also know that there have been times when I will make a conscious decision to turn my day around and make myself vulnerable by expressing either through actions or words the love or kindness within me. We really can make ourselves feel better by caring about others more than ourselves.
While I was sick with cancer and too physically weak to "do", I took the opportunity of sitting still to think about my life. I thought about what was good, what needed improvement and my chosen career. Everything about my life went under the microscope. I realized that teaching private music lessons (piano, flute, voice and theory) nurtured my emotional self by giving encouragement, information, kindness and yes, love to my students. My review of my existence reinforced the importance of being open and reaching out to give to others. Again to refer to Mark Nepo, it is like the flower or the blade of grass that grows taller and longer above ground but at the same time the roots reach deeper into the earth for the source of living water.
So how do we nurture our emotional selves? For me, it's taking quiet time each day to connect with myself. To centre myself. It's recognizing and acknowledging to myself that I may feel hurt. It's trying to be flexible enough with my emotional viewpoint to look at the hurtful situation from the other person's emotional viewpoint. We can nurture ourselves emotionally just by deciding that the "hurt" may not even need to be acted on or discussed. That just by acknowledging it is enough. In order to nurture our emotional selves, we may have to make some hard decisions regarding the kinds of relationships we have. We may have to act and limit the exposure to some individuals. This took me over 30 years to figure out. Once I limited the exposure to a negative individual, my emotional self felt less bruised and more whole. It is beneficial to take stock and review the influences on our emotional selves. This may mean scrutinizing relationships, our current employment, our physical diet of what we eat, our sleep patterns and our thought patterns. This is not an easy exercise but it really does help to keep our emotional selves whole and healthy.
Next time, I'll be talking about the third circle which is our spiritual being. In the meantime, I'm going to continue to reach out to others in kindness, compassion and love.
Monday, 25 June 2012
A Quiet Day?!
Today was supposed to be my quiet day of the week. I was supposed to conserve my energy. I didn't. I cut the grass and trimmed the front yard with my hand clippers because our weed trimmer is still needing to be fixed. I cut back some of the plants that have finished blooming. I took my son to an appointment, dropped off the plant trimmings at the city composting site and then I came home and relaxed by dead heading some of the flowers in my front flowerbed. This was a relaxing and enjoyable task for me.
Tonight, I went shopping at the local mall with my daughter and my husband. While in the store, I started to feel weak and dizzy like I used to feel while in the midst of my chemotherapy treatments. This is always a sure sign that I've done too much and that I'm too tired. I will be going to bed early tonight. I still have to learn to pace myself. I know I shouldn't let myself get as tired as I was tonight. I guess I'm feeling stronger and better because I'm not noticing that I'm getting overtired.
My hair is another sign that I'm slowly getting better. I currently look like a "Chia" head. The hair is starting to thicken up a little but it is still very fine and soft. At least my head is not mouldy like a "Chia" head. You can see where the pigment is affected by the chemotherapy. It isn't white or gray like we thought it would be. It looks more sandy or strawberry blond on the tips and as the hair grows it is becoming more of a darker red close to the roots. I wear a hat while I'm outside only because I don't want my scalp to get sunburned. On a rainy day, you'll see me outside without a hat. I also don't wear a hat while I'm driving or indoors.
Tonight, I picked my daughter up from a friend's house just before we went to the mall. Her friend's mother had heard through the grapevine just a couple of days ago that I had cancer. When she saw me at the door, she was a little uncomfortable and stuttered out that she had heard I have cancer. I gave her a brief summary of the last 8 months and reassured her that I'm on the mend. She was obviously relieved to hear I'm in remission.
Tomorrow, I'll try to continue my post of a fulfilling and satisfying life which is based on a lecture I attended over 20 years ago.
Tonight, I went shopping at the local mall with my daughter and my husband. While in the store, I started to feel weak and dizzy like I used to feel while in the midst of my chemotherapy treatments. This is always a sure sign that I've done too much and that I'm too tired. I will be going to bed early tonight. I still have to learn to pace myself. I know I shouldn't let myself get as tired as I was tonight. I guess I'm feeling stronger and better because I'm not noticing that I'm getting overtired.
My hair is another sign that I'm slowly getting better. I currently look like a "Chia" head. The hair is starting to thicken up a little but it is still very fine and soft. At least my head is not mouldy like a "Chia" head. You can see where the pigment is affected by the chemotherapy. It isn't white or gray like we thought it would be. It looks more sandy or strawberry blond on the tips and as the hair grows it is becoming more of a darker red close to the roots. I wear a hat while I'm outside only because I don't want my scalp to get sunburned. On a rainy day, you'll see me outside without a hat. I also don't wear a hat while I'm driving or indoors.
Tonight, I picked my daughter up from a friend's house just before we went to the mall. Her friend's mother had heard through the grapevine just a couple of days ago that I had cancer. When she saw me at the door, she was a little uncomfortable and stuttered out that she had heard I have cancer. I gave her a brief summary of the last 8 months and reassured her that I'm on the mend. She was obviously relieved to hear I'm in remission.
Tomorrow, I'll try to continue my post of a fulfilling and satisfying life which is based on a lecture I attended over 20 years ago.
Sunday, 24 June 2012
Two (too?) Busy Days
Yesterday, I had lots of energy and felt great when I woke up. I spent the morning grocery shopping with my husband and planned to go to my son's double header baseball games in the afternoon. The grocery shopping tired me out and I wanted to conserve my energy for going out for dinner with friends. So I had a nap, saw the second baseball game and then enjoyed a lovely evening out with friends. We shared so many laughs. I was tired though when I got home.
This morning I woke up exhausted. I guess I expended more energy than I thought yesterday. My son had another double header this afternoon but I didn't think I'd have the energy to go to the games. I took it easy and about 10:30 this morning I regained my energy. I ended up doing 2 loads of laundry, doing some house cleaning and going to both baseball games this afternoon. I had an opportunity to go and watch my husband play a double header tonight but I'm too tired. In addition, it is raining and cool. In the past, I would have still gone to the games because I do enjoy watching my husband and son play ball together. I'm still in the process of learning to recognize when I need to say no to an activity and then not feel guilty for missing it.
I'm a little concerned about my stamina. I know that it's getting better but I have a very busy upcoming week. This will be a test this week. I know that I can handle one really full day which means appointments or activities in the morning, afternoon and evening. I normally am very tired the next day. This weekend was the first time that I've had two consecutive very busy days. I know that tomorrow will be a fairly quiet day but Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday will be busy with appointments and activities throughout the days and evenings. I have just caught myself fretting about something that may or may not happen! I need to keep reminding myself that if I can't change the circumstances, then it doesn't help it to worry. Worry only drains my energy and emotional self. Worry leads to a feeling of being stressed which then affects my health. I used to be able handle being "run off my feet" and still get the family organized and packed for travelling. This is going to be my challenge this week.
This morning I woke up exhausted. I guess I expended more energy than I thought yesterday. My son had another double header this afternoon but I didn't think I'd have the energy to go to the games. I took it easy and about 10:30 this morning I regained my energy. I ended up doing 2 loads of laundry, doing some house cleaning and going to both baseball games this afternoon. I had an opportunity to go and watch my husband play a double header tonight but I'm too tired. In addition, it is raining and cool. In the past, I would have still gone to the games because I do enjoy watching my husband and son play ball together. I'm still in the process of learning to recognize when I need to say no to an activity and then not feel guilty for missing it.
I'm a little concerned about my stamina. I know that it's getting better but I have a very busy upcoming week. This will be a test this week. I know that I can handle one really full day which means appointments or activities in the morning, afternoon and evening. I normally am very tired the next day. This weekend was the first time that I've had two consecutive very busy days. I know that tomorrow will be a fairly quiet day but Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday will be busy with appointments and activities throughout the days and evenings. I have just caught myself fretting about something that may or may not happen! I need to keep reminding myself that if I can't change the circumstances, then it doesn't help it to worry. Worry only drains my energy and emotional self. Worry leads to a feeling of being stressed which then affects my health. I used to be able handle being "run off my feet" and still get the family organized and packed for travelling. This is going to be my challenge this week.
Saturday, 23 June 2012
A Fulfilling and Satisfying Life
Years ago while I was in university, I attended a lecture on humanity and spirituality. The other day, a sudden and unbidden memory of that lecture popped up out of a dusty, archived file deep within my brain. I have time to think while I recover and heal from the chemotherapy treatment for my lymphoma. Being in remission, means my body is slowly gaining strength but it is still does not have the stamina to return to teaching privately or even do all the household activities. This leaves me with lots of time to think and ponder various subjects. So while I was enjoying some quiet time, this memory from 20 years ago made itself known.
The premise of the lecture was that every person has three components to their being. In order for a person to feel fulfilled, all three areas need to be nurtured in a balanced way. If these components become unbalanced, then life just doesn't seem to feel or go "right". If the three areas are balanced, then the person seems to succeed better in life. In the lecture, I remember the professor drawing three circles which overlap each other to creat a centre which would be our soul. Each circle was labelled "Physical", "Emotional" and "Spiritual". The "Physical" part of us refers to our physical bodies. We need to nourish our bodies in a healthy way which would include healthy nutrition, liquid, and exercise to keep our bodies strong. "The "Emotional" part of us obviously refers to our emotions. This would mean paying attention to our emotional selves and making sure that our emtional relationships with others are in our best interests. This could mean attempting to keep good thoughts about others, weeding out friendships or relationships with people that are hurtful on a regular basis, making sure that our thoughts and actions are not hurtful or harmful to others. The "Spiritual" part of us refers to the deep and profound part of us that appreciates nature, meditation, prayer, and/or "deep thinking".
Let's start with the Physical circle. We have to feed ourselves on a daily basis. Do we always make good food choices? What we put into our bodies, is it always in our best interests? I know that I am guilty of making bad choices. I have been known to go through a phase of craving and junk food which ranges from hamburgers through to cheesies and does not include many vegetables. My body doesn't work quite as well when it is fed an unbalanced diet. I know that I feel much better when I have more vegetables than meat. Sometimes I am known to go "meatless" and get my protein from legumes in a vegetarian meal. I find my body seems to work at its most optimal level when it gets an abundance of fruits and vegetables, some grains and less meat. Having said that, I still like my steaks and pork chops. I just try to eat everything in moderation.
We also need to ingest liquid in order for our bodies to work well. The type of liquid is important too. Our liquid choices (beverages) could be water, juices, milk, coffee, tea or alcoholic drinks. We know that too much alcohol is not good for our bodies. We know that caffeinated drinks are not good for our bodies as well. There are studies now that say juice is too full of sugar and therefore not good for us either. I don't know about you, but I do like to drink water but not only water 100% of the time. However, I also know people that refuse to drink anything but water. It has always been recommended that we drink at least 8 glasses of water per day. A few years ago, a nutritionist on television did say that clear tea, black coffee, fruit juice and milk could count towards those 8 glasses of water. I know that when I don't drink enough water, I can feel lethargic and have headaches. While I had my chemotherapy treatments from January to May, I drank mostly water and green tea. These made me feel a little better. I believe that drinking all that liquid helped flush the chemicals through my body faster. I remember I asked my oncologist at one of my first appointments before the chemotherapy started, "Will I be able to enjoy a glass of wine?" I remember him telling me that maybe towards the end of the 21 day cycle that I could probably have a glass of wine or two. I was able to enjoy one glass of wine around Day 17 or 18 of the cycle. I like a glass of wine with my dinner but it wasn't something that I was able to do on a regular basis even on Day 17 or 18. I would have glass of wine when we had company for dinner, but otherwise it just didn't "feel" right. I definitely felt good drinking water and green tea.
The last part of keeping ourselves physically balanced is exercise. We are in a society now where exercise is often a scheduled visit to the gym. If it isn't scheduled in a gym, it is definitely scheduled into our day based on the number of people you see running, power walking and walking with weights. We do need to keep ourselves fit and give our bodies exercise. Personally, we have one vehicle and I often walk as a mode of transportation. I use hand shears for trimming my hedge and shrubs. When I was healthy (before cancer), I would run up and down my stairs when carrying my laundry down to the washer and back up to be hung outside. I'm not able to run up and down the stairs yet with the laundry but I am trying to run up and down the stairs when I have reasons to go into the basement and back upstairs again. When I cut the grass, I try to walk quickly and get my heart going. We can all build exercise into our day and it is important that we keep our bodies fit.
We need to be aware that we don't focus just on the physical part of ourselves. We need to make sure that the other circles, "Emotional" and "Spiritual" get just as much focus and weight as we give our physical selves. I will continue this topic at another time. Enjoy the weekend!
The premise of the lecture was that every person has three components to their being. In order for a person to feel fulfilled, all three areas need to be nurtured in a balanced way. If these components become unbalanced, then life just doesn't seem to feel or go "right". If the three areas are balanced, then the person seems to succeed better in life. In the lecture, I remember the professor drawing three circles which overlap each other to creat a centre which would be our soul. Each circle was labelled "Physical", "Emotional" and "Spiritual". The "Physical" part of us refers to our physical bodies. We need to nourish our bodies in a healthy way which would include healthy nutrition, liquid, and exercise to keep our bodies strong. "The "Emotional" part of us obviously refers to our emotions. This would mean paying attention to our emotional selves and making sure that our emtional relationships with others are in our best interests. This could mean attempting to keep good thoughts about others, weeding out friendships or relationships with people that are hurtful on a regular basis, making sure that our thoughts and actions are not hurtful or harmful to others. The "Spiritual" part of us refers to the deep and profound part of us that appreciates nature, meditation, prayer, and/or "deep thinking".
Let's start with the Physical circle. We have to feed ourselves on a daily basis. Do we always make good food choices? What we put into our bodies, is it always in our best interests? I know that I am guilty of making bad choices. I have been known to go through a phase of craving and junk food which ranges from hamburgers through to cheesies and does not include many vegetables. My body doesn't work quite as well when it is fed an unbalanced diet. I know that I feel much better when I have more vegetables than meat. Sometimes I am known to go "meatless" and get my protein from legumes in a vegetarian meal. I find my body seems to work at its most optimal level when it gets an abundance of fruits and vegetables, some grains and less meat. Having said that, I still like my steaks and pork chops. I just try to eat everything in moderation.
We also need to ingest liquid in order for our bodies to work well. The type of liquid is important too. Our liquid choices (beverages) could be water, juices, milk, coffee, tea or alcoholic drinks. We know that too much alcohol is not good for our bodies. We know that caffeinated drinks are not good for our bodies as well. There are studies now that say juice is too full of sugar and therefore not good for us either. I don't know about you, but I do like to drink water but not only water 100% of the time. However, I also know people that refuse to drink anything but water. It has always been recommended that we drink at least 8 glasses of water per day. A few years ago, a nutritionist on television did say that clear tea, black coffee, fruit juice and milk could count towards those 8 glasses of water. I know that when I don't drink enough water, I can feel lethargic and have headaches. While I had my chemotherapy treatments from January to May, I drank mostly water and green tea. These made me feel a little better. I believe that drinking all that liquid helped flush the chemicals through my body faster. I remember I asked my oncologist at one of my first appointments before the chemotherapy started, "Will I be able to enjoy a glass of wine?" I remember him telling me that maybe towards the end of the 21 day cycle that I could probably have a glass of wine or two. I was able to enjoy one glass of wine around Day 17 or 18 of the cycle. I like a glass of wine with my dinner but it wasn't something that I was able to do on a regular basis even on Day 17 or 18. I would have glass of wine when we had company for dinner, but otherwise it just didn't "feel" right. I definitely felt good drinking water and green tea.
The last part of keeping ourselves physically balanced is exercise. We are in a society now where exercise is often a scheduled visit to the gym. If it isn't scheduled in a gym, it is definitely scheduled into our day based on the number of people you see running, power walking and walking with weights. We do need to keep ourselves fit and give our bodies exercise. Personally, we have one vehicle and I often walk as a mode of transportation. I use hand shears for trimming my hedge and shrubs. When I was healthy (before cancer), I would run up and down my stairs when carrying my laundry down to the washer and back up to be hung outside. I'm not able to run up and down the stairs yet with the laundry but I am trying to run up and down the stairs when I have reasons to go into the basement and back upstairs again. When I cut the grass, I try to walk quickly and get my heart going. We can all build exercise into our day and it is important that we keep our bodies fit.
We need to be aware that we don't focus just on the physical part of ourselves. We need to make sure that the other circles, "Emotional" and "Spiritual" get just as much focus and weight as we give our physical selves. I will continue this topic at another time. Enjoy the weekend!
Thursday, 21 June 2012
My Altered Mind
Throughout my chemotherapy treatments, my doctor warned me of the reality of "chemo brain". I had moments in treatment when one word would escape me in the middle of a sentence. I had other moments where I would be in the middle of a conversation with someone and then go blank and couldn't remember what we were talking about. I expected "chemo brain" to get better and disappear once the treatments were finished.
Yesterday I was talking with my neighbour and wanted to sat something using the word "railing". I could not think of the word at all. All that came into my mind was "handle". It was embarrassing as I stood there with this silence in the middle of the sentence while my brain was blank and couldn't think of the word I was wanting to use. I knew that "handle" was not the word I was looking for. I couldn't think of the word "railing". Eventually it came to me but it was very frustrating. Last night, I was speaking with a student's parent regarding giving him a lesson and she asked me how much it would cost for the one lesson. My mind was absolutely blank. I couldn't remember what I charge for lessons! It was very embarrassing to ask the mother what she paid me before. She told me what she has been paying the teacher that took my student while I've been off. We agreed on that amount. I still couldn't remember what I used to charge for lessons! My husband had to tell me what he thought my rate was. I still don't remember and I will have to look up my financial records to get the amount.
Tonight, I was out shopping with my husband and I had my list of what I needed to buy. We picked the items up and came home. As I was unloading the bag, I realized that I had bought liquid dish soap but I really meant to buy Mr. Clean! My mind is just not working right at all. This is very frustrating for me as I've always had a mind for details and could remember everything.
I could understand my mind working this way if I was still in treatment or if I was not getting enough sleep. But I'm well rested and my treatments have been done for five weeks. It's not making any sense to me and at times I'm not making any sense to anyone else either. I hope this gets better because how will I go back to teaching when I'm not making sense!
Yesterday I was talking with my neighbour and wanted to sat something using the word "railing". I could not think of the word at all. All that came into my mind was "handle". It was embarrassing as I stood there with this silence in the middle of the sentence while my brain was blank and couldn't think of the word I was wanting to use. I knew that "handle" was not the word I was looking for. I couldn't think of the word "railing". Eventually it came to me but it was very frustrating. Last night, I was speaking with a student's parent regarding giving him a lesson and she asked me how much it would cost for the one lesson. My mind was absolutely blank. I couldn't remember what I charge for lessons! It was very embarrassing to ask the mother what she paid me before. She told me what she has been paying the teacher that took my student while I've been off. We agreed on that amount. I still couldn't remember what I used to charge for lessons! My husband had to tell me what he thought my rate was. I still don't remember and I will have to look up my financial records to get the amount.
Tonight, I was out shopping with my husband and I had my list of what I needed to buy. We picked the items up and came home. As I was unloading the bag, I realized that I had bought liquid dish soap but I really meant to buy Mr. Clean! My mind is just not working right at all. This is very frustrating for me as I've always had a mind for details and could remember everything.
I could understand my mind working this way if I was still in treatment or if I was not getting enough sleep. But I'm well rested and my treatments have been done for five weeks. It's not making any sense to me and at times I'm not making any sense to anyone else either. I hope this gets better because how will I go back to teaching when I'm not making sense!
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