Thursday, 19 January 2012

Day 7 - First Cycle of Chemo

Finally...a full night's sleep!!!!  Woo Hooo!!!  I woke up feeling refreshed but within 30 minutes was back to struggling with my sore gut.  I knew I had to eat some breakfast but nothing was appealing.  I'm tired of cereal and I was considering oatmeal but with my gut in discomfort that was too heavy a breakfast.  I was looking for something with protein and the thought of even a boiled egg didn't agree with me.  I settled for a piece of toast with peanut butter.  I hate peanut butter but knew that I needed to get some protein into me.  Yuck!!  By noon the discomfort had worn off and food was starting to appeal to me again.  I had half a bowl of turkey/lentil soup which I had made and froze before starting chemo last week.  It tasted good and didn't cause my tummy to gurgle.

I'm so tired and drained today that I've had moments of dizziness.  I was able to do some knitting but in a much slower fashion.  I also noticed that my left forearm is tender.  I worried throughout the day that maybe I've got phlebitis.  I had this when my son was born by C-section and at that time, I didn't even know I had it.  The nurse, at the time, caught it when she checked my temperature and found I was fevered.  I spent the afternoon today checking my temperature every hour because I'm afraid of coming down with an infection or phlebitis. The good news was there was no raised temperature today.  I also had an internal dialogue with myself about phlebitis would have shown up long before today.  I talked with my husband about my fears.  He reminded me that the doctor and nurses did tell me that I would end up having some bruising around the intravenous insertion area because of side effects of the chemo.  I guess another side effect is coming along.  This side effect is bleeding/bruising easily because my platelets will be low to non existent in the next week.  It's a good thing Scott comes to the appointments with me because he seems to be remembering things that I must have missed along the way during the appointments.

I really dislike not having control over my body.  Today I am feeling a little bit invaded by side effects.  I shouldn't be complaining because I didn't get the nausea too badly with the chemo.  But the constipation, heartburn, fatigue, bruising, hair starting to fall out, sleeplessness, and racing brain are all out of my control and I can't do much about them.  It's like I'm along for a reckless joyride and can't get off!  If I'm feeling this way now, then how on earth am I going to feel around the fourth or fifth cycle of chemo!!!  Oh yes, the doctor yesterday did say that I would feel "blah" today after stopping the prednisone.  Perhaps that explains my current state of mind.  Another side effect out of my control.

I did have a nice visit with my minister this morning and I could feel a surge of positiveness during her visit.   My spirits were raised when I received a card from my aunt in the mail today.  Although it also brought tears as I seem to be extra teary lately too.  The really good news was that my appetite came back during the day and tonight I was able to enjoy a lasagna with caesar salad.  I even tempted the stomach gods by having seconds of lasagna.  Then I immediately had some green ginger tea to help digest and settle my stomach just in case.

I'm happier this evening because I was able to be useful and help my daughter study for her french exam tomorrow.  It was an enjoyable experience for both of us.  By the way, she says "Hi".  She asked me to include that greeting last night and I forgot.  Maybe I can blame forgetfulness on "chemo brain".  I don't think I have that side effect yet.

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