Day 5 - First Cycle of Chemo

This post may not be as upbeat as some of the others.  Beware.  I'll try not to be too graphic :)  It seems like the side effects of the drugs chemo is starting to kick in.  Constipation is starting to be a worry.  It kept me up last night along with the "revving" of the prednisone (another side effect).  Scott mentioned to me this morning that I was rather irritable in an unreasonable way last night which is another side effect of the prednisone.

Because of lack of sleep last night, I am dragging today.  I had an early lunch and then went back to bed for 3 hours.  I felt a little more refreshed after the nap, but the constipation is still causing discomfort.

I posted on my facebook that I was struggling with side effects today and the immediate response and encouragement from my friends was quite comforting.  As one friend, Shelly, succinctly put it..."the side effects of the chemo is better than the side effects of not having chemo".  Thanks Shelly.  It made it a little more bearable.  I am still afraid this is just the tip of the iceburg of side effects and that what is to come is going to be a whole lot worse.  The fear of the unknown.  I'm not really very strong...it is my faith that keeps me strong.  I'm feeling my steely will is being challenged already and feel a little weak (determination wise).  I guess this is where my God keeps me cupped in his hands with wings wrapped around me.  The wings are the love and support of wonderful friends and family.

I must say that a student called last night and left a voice mail where he played his Christmas piece for me.  It had been a very difficult piece for him and when it came time to play at the Christmas Recital on December 22, he was ill.  It made my evening to hear his performance over the phone.  Another layer to the wings that are surrounding me.

I did receive a late Christmas present from my sister which was a calendar with family pictures.  The first picture I saw was a group casual pic of my sister's family and my brother's family on the beach at Sauble Beach, Ontario, Canada on Lake Huron.  This is one of my most favourite places in the world.  Another Godcidence that I see that picture just when I'm feeling the lowest in the cycle so far.  It lifted my spirits.

I'm alert enough to help my daughter study for her french exam.  The positive of this is on Tuesday nights, I would normally be teaching in my home studio and lose the opportunity to help her learn.

I'll end with what my abdomen is doing....gurgle, gurgle, gurgle.  See you tomorrow.