After my rant yesterday, I have spent two full days cleaning the house. Unfortunately only a quarter of the house has been done but it is being cleaned very thoroughly. At the same time, I'm going through and ridding myself of trinkets that are over 20 years old.
I must say that I really didn't believe my teenagers would follow my lead and clean their rooms. They may not have cleaned their rooms but at least I can see their floors now. My son helped me move heavy furniture today so that I could thoroughly vacuum under and behind all the furniture. My living room is cleaned completely and I feel very content in it now. I'm slowly making my way through the house.
Today I did realize that I'm still not 100%. As I was vacuuming, I was overcome with some dizziness which is a sign that I've pushed myself too hard. It is a little unfortunate because I was going along at a good pace and getting lots accomplished. Oh well, I'll just have to listen to my body again and take it easier. Tomorrow I won't clean at all but I will be visiting with a good friend. I'll tackle cleaning my house again on Thursday.
As I'm embracing life more fully again, I run into little irritants and other people's issues. I mentioned yesterday that I'm continuing to work on making positive changes to myself. Today I found that as I ran into other people's negativity, it helped me to stop doing for a few moments. Whether I was standing or sitting, I stopped and mentally envisioned myself as an atom that moved into the very centre of my being (close to where my heart and sternum are) and just settled. I breathed deeply as I envisioned this and it helped to relax me and get my thoughts and emotions centred again. Then I was happier to continue with the cleaning.
As I dusted the shelves and trinkets in the shelving units in the living room, I came across some old photographs. I was able to share with my daughter a picture of myself and my sister as we were graduating high school. I also came across a photograph of my father-in-law, mother-in-law, husband, son and myself that was taken at a Mother's Day Brunch 15 years ago. I showed my daughter the photograph and said "You are in this picture too. You see, I was pregnant with you when this photo was taken." She took the framed photograph and mentioned that her grandpa looked funny with a mustache. I also came across trinkets and gifts that friends and family have given to me over the years. It was enjoyable to reminisce and feel the echoes of past friendships that have unfortunately faded away.
I could become melancholy as I miss these old friends that I've lost contact with but instead, I remember them fondly and realize that sometimes friends are only in our lives for a short time. It may be to teach us something about ourselves or to help us or them through that period of our or their lives. Whatever the reason, there are still very fond memories that bubbled up as I dusted the little trinkets that were given to me many years ago.
So as my house is starting to get back into shape after a very long nine months, tonight I am feeling more serene and at peace with myself. Just in time to go visiting tomorrow and have a well-deserved break.
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