Day 17 First Chemo Round - Doctor's Appointment & Errands

I awoke very early again this morning (5:30) and needed to be up to take my pills with food at 6:15. So I grabbed a book with a cup of tea and enjoyed some quiet, relaxing time before making breakfast and taking my antibiotics for my forearm and the Nystatin for my thrush. Both are looking better. Tomorrow will be my last day of taking the antibiotics. Woo Hoo!!! One less medication that affects my stomach and makes me nauseous. Good riddance and hopefully I won't have to go back on antibiotics for awhile.

I had to be at the Cancer Clinic for my doctor's appointment at 9:00 a.m. but I always have to be there 45 minutes before the appointment to have blood taken and tested. The doctor always wants to check my red blood cell, white blood cell and platelet counts. The other markers he wants to look for is my kidney function and lymphoma/cancer protein in the blood.  So arrived at the Cancer Clinic around 8 a.m. to have my blood taken (it takes 45 minutes to 1 hour to get the results) and tested so that the results would be available for my appointment at 9:00. This was the first time that we've been able to use my picc line that was installed on Friday. As I registered at my arrival, I found out that in order to have blood taken using my picc line, I had to go to the chemo lab to have the blood taken. When I got to the chemo lab, I was told the blood room doesn't open until 8:30. So there was no way that my blood would be tested and back to my doctor for 9:00. The other option was to go to the normal blood room and have my arm pricked to have the blood taken. That blood room opens at 7:45 a.m. I opted to use my picc line because of the infection that I've been fighting in my forearm. So as a result of my choice, the doctor did not have a full report from my blood test. The white blood cell count had not been finished in time for my appointment. This was disappointing because this was the count that I was most concerned about. The rest of my appointment went well. My other counts were OK and would allow the chemo to continue. I am scheduled for my next chemo to start on Tues. Sept. 5. I will have to have more blood work done to check my white blood cell counts. Hopefully they will have risen and the chemo and take place.  Once I got home, the phone rang and it was the chemo scheduling nurse. I am supposed to start my chemo at 8:30 a.m.  I mentioned that I have to have blood work done ahead of time. The only way that can happen is for me to go to the normal blood lab and have my arm poked again to have blood taken. I have to be there at 7:45 a.m. So much for the advantage of having a picc line and reducing the number of times I have to be poked. Again, a little disappointing but I'll do what I have to do.

After my appointment, I went to visit some of my former co-workers and volunteers. This was kind of like a little reward for me. I'm into rewarding myself for going through some of these appointments. Anyway, then hubby and I headed home to rest for a bit. Then we decided to go for lunch at our favourite Afghani restaurant called Limestone Kebab House. Their food is excellent. I opted to have their veggie wrap as it has many of the foods that help boost white blood cell counts. The taboulah in the wrap helps with the protein requirement. I had my antibiotics with me and took the pill with their house tea. I took the Nystatin while sitting in the car. I have to take it using a dropper so while hubby was picking up some drycleaning, I took my Nystatin.

After lunch, we made our way to the Cataraqui Cemetery. Because of the seriousness of the diagnosis this time, hubby and I decided that I need to make sure all the details for my Celebration of Life and internment wishes are fully finalized. Five years ago, I had a basic outline planned out but not final details. This time, it's time to finish the planning. This would make it easier on hubby if the worst happens although I don't intend to give up and use this just yet. So we wandered through the cemetery and looked at the various sized monuments on the graves and also looked at the areas that house the cremated remains in walls/columns and in the gardens. This gave me a better idea of what I might want. Hubby and made an appointment with someone in the office ahead of time and we were there early. So we enjoyed wandering and seeing the various options I might have.  As the time for the appointment approached, we made our way back to the office.

How naive I've been!! Our eyes were certainly opened as far as the pricing of various options and add-ons. While we met with the funeral director, we had many questions answered and learned a lot about what we have to pay for. Details, details, details!! The funeral director took us around to show us the options for cremated remains. It was all described in terms of "real estate property". We could own "property". We could own a space in a "condo" or have our own "home". We were driven around just like a realtor would if we were looking at houses, etc. It was very informative but at one point, hubby looked like a deer in the headlights. There was a lot of information and we have a lot to look over, think about and make decisions on.  After our appointment, we decided to drop in on a local funeral home that hubby had been in contact with several weeks ago. The funeral director that he had been communicating with was not in today. So we made an appointment to go back and see him on Friday.

I have a lot of mixed feelings. I want a place where my hubby and children can come and "visit". I think I'm leaning towards a "condo" style resting place. I find myself having to force myself to be practical and not emotional about all this. I want these details looked after so that if my health declines quickly, hubby will not have to deal with this. It will be all ready. I would like it to be that hubby just needs to make a couple of phone calls to set the plans in motion.

When we got home from our errands, I was physically and emotionally tired. I took my book and laid down to read. As per normal when I do this, I fell asleep. I awoke just before dinner feeling refreshed. We enjoyed a lovely meatloaf dinner prepared by a good friend who had dropped of frozen dinners for us a few weeks ago. I could only eat half of my portion of the meatloaf, so I'll have the rest of it for dinner tomorrow night. After dinner, I went for a walk with my friend from around the corner and enjoyed our chat.....although truth be told I think I did most of the talking about my afternoon. It confirmed in her mind what she doesn't want.

Now I'm relaxing and enjoying watching the Toronto Blue Jays on television. I would love to be at a real game, but truth be told, I probably won't be going to any large, crowded venues for a long time. My immune system is too compromised to sit among a lot of people who would be coughing, hacking, etc. This is disappointing because I really like to go to our local OHL team, The Kingston Frontenacs, hockey games. Oh well....short term pain for long term gain. I have to admit that the emotional component of chemo is hard. When you feel great, you worry about the upcoming next treatment because you know how awful you're going to feel. You get in the dumps and start to dread what's coming up. On top of that, you feel keen disappointment about the things you like to do and now are curtailed from doing. When my emotions start to sink, I really find that comments on the blog and the cards of encouragement that I've been receiving in the mail help me to recognize the love and support of my friends and family. The prayers that are ongoing truly help me emotionally and I really do believe that some of the specific requests for easing the nausea, etc. has helped. Is it placebo? Is it belief? Is it mind over matter? I don't know. I just know it seems to work. So thank you to my family and friends who are supporting me emotionally throughout all this so far. It really helps!!