Getting ready to start my R-GDP

Yesterday, I took my turkey carcass from our Christmas dinner out of the freezer and boiled it all day to make turkey broth. As has been the norm for the last couple of weeks, I slept badly last night. It doesn't matter what position I lay in, I'm in discomfort. I took 1000 mg of Extra Strength Tylenol around 1 a.m. to help. It barely touched the pain. Finally around 3:30 a.m. I fell asleep. My cat, Frodo, jumped up on me at 6:43 a.m. to let me know that it was time to feed him. So I jumped out of bed, changed Frodo's water and fed him. Then I went to the fridge and took out the large soup pot that still had the turkey carcass and I separated it all. I froze some turkey broth so that when I have days that I don't feel well, I can at least have some broth. Then I made turkey soup and let it simmer all morning. That will be my dinner tonight and if there's some left over, I will freeze it for meals later on.

After all that was done, I got my laundry done. I wanted to get everything ready for the week. Chemo starts tomorrow, but I still had to take one tablet of Allopurinol this morning in preparation for the chemo. This pill will help my kidneys process the cancer cells. It needs to be taken with food, so I had it with my breakfast.

Hubby and I decided yesterday that today we would go out on the Honda Goldwing. We refuse to let the cancer take one more day from me before it needs to. So out we went for our annual jaunt to Westport, Ontario. We love this village! At least once a year, we go to The Cove Inn for lunch. So that's what we did. I wasn't really hungry but again, I don't want to give in to this cancer. I had Beef Dip Au Jus. At one time, a meal like that would be perfect for lunch. I struggled to get through it, just because my stomach often feels full and if I overeat, then I struggle with pain in the abdomen. After our lunch, we hopped back on the bike and took some back roads over to Perth. Then I had to admit to my hubby that I was tiring fast and needed to head home. We enjoyed the ride home and I, as always, enjoyed the scenery.

After a long nap, I awoke and realized I needed to bring in the laundry off the line and get our turkey soup heated up. I wasn't hungry, but again, I forced myself to eat a bowl of soup. Who would have ever thought that I would have to force myself to eat?! Me....who used to love food!! Now my response to food is ... meh.

So after supper, I got my backpack out and loaded it up for the ordeal of chemotherapy tomorrow. I will be there for 6 to 8 hours as Rituximab is pumped into me. So in went fig bars, chocolate covered almonds, chocolate covered raisins and  gummy juice snacks. Then went in the puzzle books and a book I'm currently reading. The anxiety just reared its ugly head and I was overcome with anger and frustration. This isn't fair!!! This SUCKS!!!!  I feel like I'm on a train and I can't get off. It's rolling along down the tracks closer and closer to this dreadful chemotherapy journey. I'm afraid of the side effects on my body. I'm afraid of what's going to happen. But I really don't have a choice. I need to do this.

My bag is packed and ready to go first thing in the morning. Now my evening lies before me. More anxiety. More pain. More sleeplessness. I will try knitting, reading, doing crosswords, sudokus and playing on the computer. Just putting in time. Waiting....waiting......