Day 2 Second Chemo Round - The Mental Game

I forgot to mention that my hair has started to fall out. I noticed it on Monday night (Day 21) when I saw hair all over the shoulders of my sweater. Then yesterday morning there was enough hair on my pillow case in the morning that I had to go to the back door and shake it outside in order to clear it off my pillow case. Again, yesterday morning when I went to comb my hair there was a lot of hair in the comb. I experimented with taking a bunch hair in my fingers and pulling. Yup it all came out in a big tuft. Then this morning as I was getting dressed, I saw my pillow case was full of hair again. Again, I shook it outside the back door. When I washed my hair this morning, there was a lot of hair came out again. By tonight, you can see where my hair has really thinned out and you can see the scalp at the top of my head. My head coverings will be used once my hair is unattractive. At the moment, I can still live with it because I'm tall and not many people can see the scalp at the top of my head. And isn't it ironic, that as I sat in my chemo chair today, a lady walked by and then turned back and commented how she loved the colour of my hair.

The mental part of the game has begun. I am OK with losing my hair as it will grow back later on. And I have some very nice head coverings that I'm actually looking forward to wearing. This makes the difference. Five years ago when I lost my hair, I was not comfortable using scarves as I'm not handy folding them and making them look nice. It was the middle of the winter and I was happy to wear my favourite toques and then when the weather warmed up, I had a favourite pink ball cap with a horse on it that said "Life is Good" that I enjoyed wearing. In fact, I wore that cap on Monday to keep the top of my head from being in the sun.

Today, I had my Day 2 chemo input. First, I had to take an Ondansetron pill to counteract the nausea. Then I had my Dexamethasone put into me through the IV. Next came the Gemcitabine and finally the Cysplatin. I was in the same chemo chair as yesterday and overlooked Lake Ontario. I was there from 9:15 a.m. until 3:30 p.m. It was a long and tiring day but made pleasant by some visits by friends who are volunteers. The nurses in the chemo lab are fantastic individuals. They are often short-handed and overworked but always have a smile and are pleasant to be with.

After my chemo was done, hubby and I went to my optometrist to pick up some new glasses for me that I ordered last week. My frames had broken just before I started chemo at the beginning. So I ordered a pair of regular prescription glasses and also a pair of prescription sunglasses. I've never had prescription sunglasses before so this is a treat.

After we got home and relaxed for a bit, hubby wanted to treat me to a dinner out before the darkness of nausea and side effects kicks in the next 4 to 5 days. So we went off to our favourite Afghani restaurant, "The Limestone Kebab House" where hubby was able to get a full meal and I had the soup and veggie wrap. It was enough to fill me up but still light enough it wasn't sitting in my stomach and uncomfortable. I've continued to drink plenty of fluids to flush the chemo out of my system.

I'm getting weary and will be heading to bed soon. I've taken my last Ondansetron to control the nausea that will inevitably occur tonight. I also have more prochlorperazine if I need to take it in the night. The Ondansetron should last 6 to 8 hours though. Enough to give me good night's sleep, I hope.  Again, this now a mental game and I have to gird my mental strength, using my unfailing faith in God through prayer and envisioning Jesus walking beside me and God holding me in the palm of his hands. The love, prayers, good thoughts and positive vibes of friends and family really helps to get me through the dark times. So a heartfelt thank you to all of you who are supporting me emotionally and mentally from near and far.