The Art of Being Peace-Filled

The laundry is started. I can hear the machine whirring away downstairs as I sit on my comfortable couch with my legs up. I have a cup of fresh, hot coffee sitting beside me so I can sip on it while I blog. The light in the stable, that a friend made for me many, many years ago, is lit and highlights the figures of Mary, Infant Jesus, the 3 wisemen, the little shepherd boy standing back with a lamb in his arms, the angel and the various animals (including the camel). Joseph isn't there because my cat Frodo knocked him over several years ago and broke his head off. The Advent candles are lit. My Christmas tree lights are on. Daylight is just beginning to brighten the day outdoors as seen through my windows. Yesterday it was 10 degrees Celsius here and the ground was green. This morning, the ground is white. The rooftops are white. The street light across from our home is highlighting the snow on the branches on the maple tree nearby. The neighbourhood is not stirring yet, although I do see lights blinking on in some of the homes as people are waking up. There has been a couple of cars drive slowly past as the roads look to be a little icy. This is my view from my couch where I am settled in to write.

The Art of Being Peace-Filled. That title says it all in one little sentence. Peace isn't always an easy thing to find or be. Our world is filled with lots of distractions. There's the noise of cars and machinery. There's the mind's distraction of our electronic devices. These detractors from our ability to be peace-filled are games, news, social media, texting, emails, and the list goes on.We need to learn and practise the art of being peace-filled. For me, it is important to start my day with some quiet time. Today that includes my candles, my Nativity scene, the drapes open and seeing the quiet peaceful and snowy outdoors. I much prefer to look at a country scene. We moved from a rural area to the city 18 years ago. I grew up in the city but I spent time at my grandparents farm and enjoyed rural areas much more than the city. Living in a rural setting confirmed to me that it is where I am happiest. The city is harder to be peace-filled. There's noise. There's traffic. There's lots of people walking their dogs by the house. So I have had to adjust and learn to be peace-filled even with all the distractions. So I start with a quiet morning. I get mesmerized by the flames dancing on the candles. I stare at them and see the round glow of the flame. It calms my mind. It calms my body. It calms my soul.

Throughout the day, especially during the Christmas season, there will be moment where my peace is shattered. News of someone's illness taking a grave downward turn will shatter my peace. The grief I feel for my friend who died in the summer pulls at the edges of my peace-filled soul and helps to weaken it. I grieve but I still work to practise being peace-filled. The hustle and bustle in the stores and on the roads can erode the peacefulness that I work to keep. At this time of year, other people are stressed. Some of them are rude. Some of them are grumpy. These negative emotions and behaviours are insidious and before you know it, the employees are grumpy. There are no smiles. People become "automated" as they use their "practised, public, customer-service phrases". So how do I achieve a peace-filled being despite these detractors throughout the day? I stop rushing. As I shop in the stores, I keep in the back of my mind, the peaceful morning that I had. I think ahead to spending time with the people that truly matter to me. These are my friends and family. I also live in the moment and enjoy the Christmas music that is playing is generally cheerful as I march through the stores. On the roads, when someone cuts me off, I think that's OK, I'm not in a hurry. I practise courtesy when I'm driving. If someone is wanting to move over and there's no room, I slow down and make room for them. I feel good.

This is a busy season and it is hard to stay peaceful. So when I leave a store, I get in the car and take a couple of deep breaths. It's like cleansing all the negative "stuff" out. Throwing off the cloak of the affect of other people's problems. Is this always easy? No it isn't. I wrote my blog on Thursday about illness, dying and reflecting on the poem that day. Later on Thursday, I heard about someone I know getting bad news about their cancer. The treatment didn't work. It is not good news. I was sad. This person went through chemo at the same time I did. We saw each other at the public health nurses' office to have our dressings changed and cleaned. So on Thursday, when I heard about this person, I was sad. I questioned why? Why am I doing and feeling well? Why did this not work for this person? Did I feel peaceful? No, I didn't. I delayed going to a Christmas party until I managed to get my emotional self a little more balanced. I was late for the party, but that was OK. I needed to spend time alone to process the sad information before I could be among other people celebrating Christmas.

Hubby was at the Christmas party waiting for me and looking for me. He knew something wasn't right when I was not arriving on time. I'm always a stickler for arriving on time. I was 45 minutes late. He organized this party and was busy circulating but he noticed when I arrived and he felt relieved. I didn't tell him why I was late. I didn't want to ruin his night. I waited and I told him after we were back at home later in the evening. We discussed. We commiserated with each other and we feel really bad for this person's family. What a terrible time of year to get the news that your treatment didn't work! I don't know what to do for this person and their family. So Thursday night, to help reclaim a sense of peace, I played a mindless electronic game. It has a rhythm to it that calms my mind. I needed to calm myself before going to bed to sleep for the night. It was late. I saw a message come in on my laptop, asking if I was still up. It was from a lady who was/is the best friend of my friend that passed away in the summer. I replied to her, "Yes, I'm still up. Do you want to call me?"

My attempt to calm my soul, mind and body was about to be shattered again. The phone rang and I talked with my deceased friend's friend for about an hour. We cried together. We grieved together. We really miss our mutual friend. After the phone call ended, I was an emotional mess again. Honestly, my grief for my friend has been freshened and sharpened in the last week or so. She died in July, but every Christmas we would chat on the phone. We would exchange Christmas cards through the mail. I miss her. I miss our sporadic but spontaneous phone calls. After our mutual friend's phone call on Thursday night, all my sadness and grief was fresh and heightened again. This in combination with the information that I had received earlier in the day was enough to completely shatter any remaining dregs of peace I had. Hubby had long since gone to bed for the night. I was up and meditating, thinking, and praying. Praying for my deceased friend's friend. Praying that she can progress in her grieving process. Praying for the family of the person whose health is deteriorating. Praying for myself. Thinking why?! I cried. It was good to cleanse my soul that way. I eventually made my way to my bed, but I was far from feeling peaceful. I didn't sleep well Thursday night. When I don't sleep, I pray. I meditate. Eventually at 4 a.m., I fell asleep only to be shocked awake by the phone ringing at 6:30 a.m. I was afraid something was wrong with my mom or my father-in-law. Why else does the phone shatter your sleep in the middle of the night?! Oh wait....it was morning already. By the way, the phone call was a telemarketer. Grrrr....

So much for being peace-filled and starting my morning calmly. This is why it is an art. It is something to be practised. Being peace-filled is an ongoing journey. I did a better job of it yesterday. I started out with my candles, fireplace channel, Christmas lights, etc. I did my grocery shopping. I genuinely smiled at other shoppers and cashiers. I delivered our "Advent Basket" to the food bank. Throughout the month of December, Hubby and I added one item to the basket each day. It was overflowing, so I delivered it yesterday after I had finished my grocery shopping. This project made me feel good every time I put something in the basket. When I dropped it off at the food bank, they were so appreciative! It put another smile on my face and a peaceful glow inside me.

When I have days that are not easy, I sometimes rely on the memories of the rural area where Hubby and I lived and started our family. It was our first home. Our 2 children arrived while we lived there. It was on a paved country road. We were surrounded by cornfields. Across the road was a bush. In the winter, there was lots and lots of snow. We didn't have a dishwasher but while I washed my dishes by hand, I could look out the window and see the bush. The snow would blanket the ground and trees and it was peaceful. The memories of playing outside with my children in the deep snow brings calm and happy feelings to my soul. Hubby and I would pick the kids up and throw them into the soft deep snow. The giggles and laughter echoing across the fields just added to the joy we felt. These memories are precious and still give me peace when I need it most. In the winter, the cornfields would be covered with snow. Sometimes, we would see deer way back behind the house on the edge of the woods. We would see foxes and hear wolves at night as their howls and yips echoed through the night. One time, we even saw a moose exit the bush across the road, cross the road, walk across our yard and into the snowy cornfield behind the house. Another time, I was hanging my laundry on the clothesline and heard a "whoosh, whoosh". I looked up and saw a big blue heron fly right overtop of me. I ran into the house and got my very young son to look out his bedroom window. There was the heron standing on the ground in close, perfect view! These memories help fill my soul with peace on bad days.

So try to find what quiet activity helps give you calm and peace in the morning (or evening). Do something nice for somebody without getting anything tangible in return. You might just find that living in the moment mindfully and positively will translate into being peaceful and calm. As always, these are just my thoughts....