Finally I'm on the upswing in this cycle!!! I woke up and felt great. I did a load of laundry and hung it out. Who knew that one day I would rejoice in doing a mundane chore such as laundry! I went shopping for about one and a half hours with my husband where I got to visit with merchants that I haven't seen since November. Unfortunately, part way through I ran out of energy and got dizzy and weak. We were at the local mall and my husband had to go get the car and drive to the nearest door to collect me. Then he drove me to the other end of the mall so we could finish our shopping. It's frustrating that I can't even walk the length of the mall. But at least I got out and did some shopping! My husband and daughter dropped me off at home and continued the shopping and errands.
I had some of my carrot ginger soup for lunch and rested for a while. By the time my husband came home in the mid afternoon, I went out and, with his help, finished pruning the grape vines. We rewarded ourselves by sitting on the patio and watching the different birds visit our backyard. We saw our first house finch this season visit the bird feeder. He then flitted away but I could hear him singing from whatever tree he landed in. We had black-capped chickadees, sparrows, grackles, mourning doves and red-winged blackbirds. The highlight was seeing Mr. and Mrs. Cardinal come to the feeder. I wished I had my camera with me but I didn't. Mr Cardinal arrived and sat on the feeder. Then he gently chirped and along came Mrs. Cardinal. She was more reserved and sat in our red maple a little while before joining her mate on the feeder. From our view on the patio, they ate together and it looked like they were embracing each other in a hug. After a bit, Mr. Cardinal flew away to the big oak tree in the corner of our yard. Mrs. Cardinal flew to our hedge which is located just under the oak tree. We could hear Mr. Cardinal chirping for her to join him. She didn't immediately, but when he flew away to another yard, she wasn't to be left behind and off she went.
My husband decided to make dinner at this point as our entertainment for the afternoon appeared to be over. I was getting cold, so I wrapped myself up in our warmest afghan and continued to sit outside with our cat on my lap. We watched and listened to the sounds of the neighbourhood which were the birds singing and dogs barking. My cat's ear just swivelled as he relaxed on my lap. At one point, I heard a noise to my right and slowly turned my head to see what it was. There was a plump, healthy grey squirrel slowly meandering down the length of our yard. I watched him get to the chainlink fence at the bottom of the yard. He quickly scampered up and ran along the length to our neighbour's yard. He then disappeared from view.
My husband made a wonderfully delicious dinner of double baked potatoes, BBQ-Honey Garlic Marinated Steak and caesar salad. My daughter made the caesar salad. I'm so glad my taste buds are back and my appetite is back. Our dinner was great!
Both my husband and I are very tired tonight. I haven't done very much and he has extended himself again and did all the errands and cooked supper. Unfortunately, I spent too long on the patio as I'm now feeling a little chilled tonight. It was worth being in the fresh air though. So as I write this tonight, I'm wrapped up in my afghan and prayer shawl as well as wearing a warm hoodie.
The only drawback tonight is that I'm still taking my Nystatin for the thrush. It seems to create less nausea if I take it after meals. So, unfortunately, the taste of my dinner was short lived and was overpowered by the taste of the Nystatin. At least I enjoyed my meal while I ate it though.
Tomorrow we will be having our delayed Easter Dinner. I'm looking forward to that. We delayed it to this weekend because last weekend I would not have enjoyed it. It is supposed to rain all day tomorrow so I don't know what else we'll do but it will be enjoyable just because both children will be home and it will be a "family" day.
Saturday, 14 April 2012
Friday, 13 April 2012
Day 9 - 5th Chemo Cycle
I awoke with my first morning of feeling "normal" since my chemotherapy injection last Thursday. By saying "normal" I mean I have energy and clarity of thought. I feel happy to embrace the day ahead. This morning I was happy to be coming out of that first week. I always feel like I've lost a complete week in my life. It is a week that is spent just surviving and going one breath at a time. The week gets dropped from my memory which is rather disconcerting. Today I did some laundry and hung it outside to dry in the sunny and breezy day. I love the fresh smell that comes from clothes being hung outside. That is a smell that cannot be imitated or bottled. I was also planning to try pruning some more grape vines.
After having done the laundry, it was lunch time. I made some carrot ginger soup yesterday so I reheated a bowl and enjoyed that. Then my day changed. I started having some stomach cramping. My diarrhea returned. It lasted for one hour which is an improvement to earlier in the week when it would last for 2 hours each day. Although it was only an hour, I was back to feeling chilled, weak, dizzy and exhausted. I'm wondering if it is being caused by the senokot and stool softeners which I use to keep from being constipated. When I didn't use them on Wednesday night (Day 7), I was not afflicted like this yesterday (Day 8). I took the senokot and stool softeners last night because I was afraid of becoming constipated.
Anyway, this afternoon I went with what my body told me and I didn't do anything else. The grape vines will have to wait for another day. My thrush is still here. I've been using the Nystatin (swish and swallow) for the last 3 days. I really don't like it. I always feel nauseous after taking it and I have to take it 4 times every day. It is less nasty if I take it after having eaten a meal. Having said that, my appetite is coming back so I see that the good days are going to be arriving over the weekend probably.
It's helping me emotionally to remind myself that there is only 4 weeks left of this process. This reminder is what got me through this last week. I'm so tired of doing the chemotherapy. I've lost 4 1/2 months of my life to this. I know it is so I can have a full and healthy life ahead of me which is why I'm enduring it. Although, now that I truly think about it, the last 4 months have also been incredibly blessed with self-knowledge, a deeper faith, renewed friendships, affirmed relationships, and a sense of being completely surrounded by love. So I guess the last 4 months or so have not been a waste. I just can't wait to "do" things in life again and enjoy them. I'm looking forward to relaxing on my patio with a glass of wine (or two), camping, visiting with friends, eating anything I want and not worrying about how it will affect my stomach or my thrush, watching my son play baseball, shopping with my daughter, wandering downtown while window shopping, walking along the shoreline, hiking in the conservation areas and eating at my favourite restaurants.
I will be doing some of this in the summer but I will have to pace myself and see what my body's stamina is capable to doing. I'll continue to listen to my body. People have often asked how did you find the lymphoma. What were the symptoms. All I can say is that in order to catch something early, you have to listen to your body. If you're tired all the time, ask youself why. If there is any change in your body, emotions, energy levels, etc. pay attention to them. If something doesn't "feel" right, go to your doctor. Press for answers. As my family doctor said at the beginning of all this, "we'll run tests to see what it is not". Listen to your body.
After having done the laundry, it was lunch time. I made some carrot ginger soup yesterday so I reheated a bowl and enjoyed that. Then my day changed. I started having some stomach cramping. My diarrhea returned. It lasted for one hour which is an improvement to earlier in the week when it would last for 2 hours each day. Although it was only an hour, I was back to feeling chilled, weak, dizzy and exhausted. I'm wondering if it is being caused by the senokot and stool softeners which I use to keep from being constipated. When I didn't use them on Wednesday night (Day 7), I was not afflicted like this yesterday (Day 8). I took the senokot and stool softeners last night because I was afraid of becoming constipated.
Anyway, this afternoon I went with what my body told me and I didn't do anything else. The grape vines will have to wait for another day. My thrush is still here. I've been using the Nystatin (swish and swallow) for the last 3 days. I really don't like it. I always feel nauseous after taking it and I have to take it 4 times every day. It is less nasty if I take it after having eaten a meal. Having said that, my appetite is coming back so I see that the good days are going to be arriving over the weekend probably.
It's helping me emotionally to remind myself that there is only 4 weeks left of this process. This reminder is what got me through this last week. I'm so tired of doing the chemotherapy. I've lost 4 1/2 months of my life to this. I know it is so I can have a full and healthy life ahead of me which is why I'm enduring it. Although, now that I truly think about it, the last 4 months have also been incredibly blessed with self-knowledge, a deeper faith, renewed friendships, affirmed relationships, and a sense of being completely surrounded by love. So I guess the last 4 months or so have not been a waste. I just can't wait to "do" things in life again and enjoy them. I'm looking forward to relaxing on my patio with a glass of wine (or two), camping, visiting with friends, eating anything I want and not worrying about how it will affect my stomach or my thrush, watching my son play baseball, shopping with my daughter, wandering downtown while window shopping, walking along the shoreline, hiking in the conservation areas and eating at my favourite restaurants.
I will be doing some of this in the summer but I will have to pace myself and see what my body's stamina is capable to doing. I'll continue to listen to my body. People have often asked how did you find the lymphoma. What were the symptoms. All I can say is that in order to catch something early, you have to listen to your body. If you're tired all the time, ask youself why. If there is any change in your body, emotions, energy levels, etc. pay attention to them. If something doesn't "feel" right, go to your doctor. Press for answers. As my family doctor said at the beginning of all this, "we'll run tests to see what it is not". Listen to your body.
Thursday, 12 April 2012
Day 8 - 5th Chemo Cycle
I didn't sleep well again last night. This time it was because my sleep was interrupted by dreams. I don't remember the dreams but I do know that I woke myself up by hearing me yelling out and thrashing in the bed. As a result, I was very tired again today. I know what triggered the dreams and as the day progressed, I was finally able to start to put aside the anxiety and worry.
Today I finally recognized the amount of energy I have wasted over the years through worrying and fretting about situations that I have no control over. As the realization dawned, I began to move to a place of acceptance and peace. Over the years I've heard that you cannot control other people's emotions, reactions and to just move on. I had accepted that I could only control my own reactions and actions. What I hadn't fully learned, and today I took a small step to finally learning, is that it doesn't help to fret about upcoming events and the fretting is wasted energy. I need this energy focused on my healing right now. I can't afford to fret about something that is 2 or 3 months away. This is another example of one breath at a time, one moment at a time, one step at a time. I have started to look too far ahead. I NEED to not worry about what is going to happen in the future due to someone else's emotions, reactions or actions.
Today I was embracing the idea of an encircling prayer to keep me safe and give me peace. It helped. I had started to use this method of prayer in January and into February. Then I forgot. I need to establish the habit of this type of prayer. I believe that the encircling prayer actually has its roots in the Celtic/Druid tradition. The one I've been using is actually a Christian one. It goes:
"The Sacred Three my fortress be
Encircling me.
Come and be round
my hearth and my home."
I found this at www.northernway.org/cpprayers.html
Today I finally recognized the amount of energy I have wasted over the years through worrying and fretting about situations that I have no control over. As the realization dawned, I began to move to a place of acceptance and peace. Over the years I've heard that you cannot control other people's emotions, reactions and to just move on. I had accepted that I could only control my own reactions and actions. What I hadn't fully learned, and today I took a small step to finally learning, is that it doesn't help to fret about upcoming events and the fretting is wasted energy. I need this energy focused on my healing right now. I can't afford to fret about something that is 2 or 3 months away. This is another example of one breath at a time, one moment at a time, one step at a time. I have started to look too far ahead. I NEED to not worry about what is going to happen in the future due to someone else's emotions, reactions or actions.
Today I was embracing the idea of an encircling prayer to keep me safe and give me peace. It helped. I had started to use this method of prayer in January and into February. Then I forgot. I need to establish the habit of this type of prayer. I believe that the encircling prayer actually has its roots in the Celtic/Druid tradition. The one I've been using is actually a Christian one. It goes:
"The Sacred Three my fortress be
Encircling me.
Come and be round
my hearth and my home."
I found this at www.northernway.org/cpprayers.html
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
Day 7 - 5th Chemo Cycle - "Waiting"
Today was a little better than yesterday in that I had a tad more energy, but not much. I am still plagued by diarrhea, thrush, fatigue, dizziness and weakness. So again, I've listened to my body and have rested most of the day.
Throughout the day, I felt like I was waiting. I'm waiting for the first week of side effects to pass. I'm waiting for strength to return so I can organize my team for Relay For Life. I'm waiting for a return to full health so I can LIVE!!!
As I thought about all this waiting, my first reaction is waiting seems to be a waste of time. But I'm in a situation where all I can do is wait and think so there is no time being "wasted". This quiet waiting that I'm being forced to endure makes me look deep into myself. As I rested in bed because I was too dizzy to sit upright, I waited quietly and silently. This made me look inside and re-evaluate what is important.
I have always tried to live my life by "doing the right thing" even to the detriment of my mental and physical health. Not having family live nearby, means constantly weighing choices between extended family functions against activities that our children have been involved in. Often there seems to be scheduling conflicts and I have tried to juggle and "do the right thing". This has meant making very long trips by car for a weekend visit (2 days of travelling, 1 day of visiting) when the children were very small. Sometimes "doing the right thing" has meant carrying out volunteer obligations that maybe didnt' need to be fulfilled all of the time. After mulling over how I can continue to juggle and balance all the demands, I came to the conclusion that I still think it is admirable "to do the right thing" but not always at the expense to my physical and mental well-being. This is a huge step for me to acknowledge this. My process of re-evaluating is ongoing for the moment. No firm decisions have been made yet.
As I continued to contemplate "waiting", I realized that waiting quietly allows us to reconnect with ourselves (inner self, soul, etc.). Our society is always so busy with rushing from one activity to another that we don't take the time to quietly wait. I know I haven't. I'm just now quietly waiting because I've been forced to do so. Quietly waiting allows us to take stock of our attributes and our flaws. The next step is trying to improve on the flaws. I've been doing this throughout my journey through cancer. Identifying what needs to be improved is somewhat easy. It's implementing the change that is very, very difficult.
But....this all starts with quietly waiting.
Throughout the day, I felt like I was waiting. I'm waiting for the first week of side effects to pass. I'm waiting for strength to return so I can organize my team for Relay For Life. I'm waiting for a return to full health so I can LIVE!!!
As I thought about all this waiting, my first reaction is waiting seems to be a waste of time. But I'm in a situation where all I can do is wait and think so there is no time being "wasted". This quiet waiting that I'm being forced to endure makes me look deep into myself. As I rested in bed because I was too dizzy to sit upright, I waited quietly and silently. This made me look inside and re-evaluate what is important.
I have always tried to live my life by "doing the right thing" even to the detriment of my mental and physical health. Not having family live nearby, means constantly weighing choices between extended family functions against activities that our children have been involved in. Often there seems to be scheduling conflicts and I have tried to juggle and "do the right thing". This has meant making very long trips by car for a weekend visit (2 days of travelling, 1 day of visiting) when the children were very small. Sometimes "doing the right thing" has meant carrying out volunteer obligations that maybe didnt' need to be fulfilled all of the time. After mulling over how I can continue to juggle and balance all the demands, I came to the conclusion that I still think it is admirable "to do the right thing" but not always at the expense to my physical and mental well-being. This is a huge step for me to acknowledge this. My process of re-evaluating is ongoing for the moment. No firm decisions have been made yet.
As I continued to contemplate "waiting", I realized that waiting quietly allows us to reconnect with ourselves (inner self, soul, etc.). Our society is always so busy with rushing from one activity to another that we don't take the time to quietly wait. I know I haven't. I'm just now quietly waiting because I've been forced to do so. Quietly waiting allows us to take stock of our attributes and our flaws. The next step is trying to improve on the flaws. I've been doing this throughout my journey through cancer. Identifying what needs to be improved is somewhat easy. It's implementing the change that is very, very difficult.
But....this all starts with quietly waiting.
Tuesday, 10 April 2012
Day 6 - 5th Chemo Cycle
This has not been a good day. It is probably because it is my first day off of the prednisone and I seem to "crash" for two days. Today I've felt chilled, dizzy and weak. This is also my third day of diarrhea. I'm trying to keep up my fluid intake. I don't like the taste of water and tea is too hot for my thrush. I've resorted to drinking lukewarm or cold water that has been steeped with fresh ginger. I seem to like the taste of that. I can't stand for long at all today. Even sitting is difficult. It's time to just sit or lay down and roll with the waves for the next 2 days. In my mind I imagine myself being a piece of wood bobbing along as waves roll underneath me and I'm adrift.
Monday, 9 April 2012
Day 5 - 5th Chemo Cycle
Again, I had a sleepless night due to being on the prednisone. As a result, I was very tired today. But again, being on the prednisone, I couldn't sleep or nap today because of the excess energy they create. So I spent the day watching tv, knitting and reading. The prednisone also makes me restless so even though I'm tired, I'm up and wandering around. I'm glad today was my last day to take the prednisone in this cycle.
I did go to the chiropractor today to help keep my bowels in line. The thrush is still just in my mouth and not down my throat, so I'm continuing to do the swish and spit rather than swish and swallow. Even swishing and spitting leaves a terrible taste in my mouth from the Nystatin. I've struggled the last couple of days with nauseousness immediately after using the Nystatin. I'm also struggling to keep the fluid intake going because it doesn't go well with the Nystatin. I have to make sure that I drink enough water or tea so that I'm hydrated and the chemo can continue to be cleansed from my system. I know that the chemo is gone after 2 days but I always emit a chemical smell until almost the third week.
While I was at the chiropractor, I realized that in 3 weeks time I will have finished my last chemotherapy treatment and will be on the road back to normalcy!!! This was such a bright light to my day. I realized that I've been getting through the last 5 months by plodding along one day at a time. Plodding and plodding. Not getting too excited and trying to keep myself out of the doldrums.
A couple of days ago, I had one of my few days where I was feeling sorry for myself. I was in a complaining and whiny mood because I was getting tired of the whole process. I hope that I never have to go through chemotherapy again. I like food. I like to eat. I like to have a glass of wine with my meal. I like to visit with friends and watch my children do their activities even though it makes life a little hectic. I've really missed doing these things. I can't wait to enjoy a turkey dinner with all the fixings and not worry about mixing bread with meat or starch with meat because it will increase and irritate the thrush. I can't wait to sit with friends or my husband on the patio and enjoy a glass of wine. I can't wait to just see friends again and not worry about pacing myself or tiring myself out or wondering if I'll catch some germ or bug from them. I can't wait to go shopping with my daughter and not run out of energy. I can't wait to buy my son a suit ensemble for his prom. I can't wait to go shopping for paint swatches with my daughter for her room. I can't wait until my body is back to normal. I'm not complaining. I'm just looking forward to the activities that I'll be able to start to do again.
I have to thank all my friends and family again. I know I repeat myself in my blog at times. This is because there have been many times when I've been feeling down or weak and you have all loaned me some of your strength, your faith and your encouragement. This has helped me through the last 5 months and I have realized the importance of being weak enough to lean on the strength of those around us. It is through this weakness and then the sharing of others' strength that relationships have grown in depth. It is also through weakness that our faith is strengthened.
I did go to the chiropractor today to help keep my bowels in line. The thrush is still just in my mouth and not down my throat, so I'm continuing to do the swish and spit rather than swish and swallow. Even swishing and spitting leaves a terrible taste in my mouth from the Nystatin. I've struggled the last couple of days with nauseousness immediately after using the Nystatin. I'm also struggling to keep the fluid intake going because it doesn't go well with the Nystatin. I have to make sure that I drink enough water or tea so that I'm hydrated and the chemo can continue to be cleansed from my system. I know that the chemo is gone after 2 days but I always emit a chemical smell until almost the third week.
While I was at the chiropractor, I realized that in 3 weeks time I will have finished my last chemotherapy treatment and will be on the road back to normalcy!!! This was such a bright light to my day. I realized that I've been getting through the last 5 months by plodding along one day at a time. Plodding and plodding. Not getting too excited and trying to keep myself out of the doldrums.
A couple of days ago, I had one of my few days where I was feeling sorry for myself. I was in a complaining and whiny mood because I was getting tired of the whole process. I hope that I never have to go through chemotherapy again. I like food. I like to eat. I like to have a glass of wine with my meal. I like to visit with friends and watch my children do their activities even though it makes life a little hectic. I've really missed doing these things. I can't wait to enjoy a turkey dinner with all the fixings and not worry about mixing bread with meat or starch with meat because it will increase and irritate the thrush. I can't wait to sit with friends or my husband on the patio and enjoy a glass of wine. I can't wait to just see friends again and not worry about pacing myself or tiring myself out or wondering if I'll catch some germ or bug from them. I can't wait to go shopping with my daughter and not run out of energy. I can't wait to buy my son a suit ensemble for his prom. I can't wait to go shopping for paint swatches with my daughter for her room. I can't wait until my body is back to normal. I'm not complaining. I'm just looking forward to the activities that I'll be able to start to do again.
I have to thank all my friends and family again. I know I repeat myself in my blog at times. This is because there have been many times when I've been feeling down or weak and you have all loaned me some of your strength, your faith and your encouragement. This has helped me through the last 5 months and I have realized the importance of being weak enough to lean on the strength of those around us. It is through this weakness and then the sharing of others' strength that relationships have grown in depth. It is also through weakness that our faith is strengthened.
Sunday, 8 April 2012
Day 4 - 5th Chemo Cycle - Easter Sunday
The prednisone kept me awake last night until about 3:30 a.m. After a night of not sleeping well, I woke up early this morning as always in order to eat my breakfast and swallow my pills. We had forgotten to put out the chocolate bunnies and scatter the chocolate eggs last night. After my breakfast, I had a nostalgic time hiding the chocolate mini eggs for our children to find. I put the chocolate bunnies at everyone's place setting on the table. This brought back memories of setting up the house on Easter Sundays when my children were quite young.
My stomach was rumbling and rolling again. The bathroom was my "room" for about 2 hours. After that all settled down, it was time for my last anti-nausea pill. I was going to head back to bed because I was already tired but at that point my son awoke and I wanted to see my children participate in one of their last Easter Egg Hunts. I gently shook my daughter awake. She is not a morning person and is slow to respond. That was until I said "Your brother is already awake and will be getting all the eggs." She jumped out of bed and grabbed one of the baskets. The race was on! It brought joy to my soul and a smile to my face to watch my teenage children enthusiastically participate just like when they were little children.
We then sat down and watched the Men's World Curling Championship game where Canada won the gold!!
I found my stomach responded better to smaller healthy snacks instead of breakfast, lunch and supper. I'm still fighting thrush and I read that fresh strawberries, cantaloupe and carrots help. So I had a mid-morning snack of strawberries, a lunch of leftover carrots from last night's supper and then a combination snack later on of carrots and strawberries. I did break down and have a good serving of supper which consisted of pork roast, yorkshire puddings (done on the BBQ), mashed potatoes, gravy and salad. I had read that if you combine meat with starch (potatoes) and if you eat white bread it encourages the thrush. I had no restraint and ate all of the supper. I did pay for it as I could feel the fizziness of the thrush working. So out came the Nystatin as a rinse and spit solution. It has helped.
Early this afternoon, my husband took me out for a drive down to Lake Ontario. It was windy down by the lake and our attempted walk was aborted because I was getting cold. We then went for a circuitous drive home so I could enjoy some different scenery as well as get some water views. Once we got home, I sat outside on the patio in the sun for a little bit. I was bundled up as if it was mid winter. I had a touque, 2 hoodies, jacket and 2 afghans wrapped around me to help keep me warm. I didn't last that long outside as I was getting chilled. So I carried the afghans inside and they kept me warm while I sat on the couch and watched The Masters golf championship. It took me several hours to warm up.
It's been a good day although the prednisone is giving me excess energy. I was wanting to help with the laundry but I seemed to just create tension because I didn't just sit down like I was told. When I'm on the prednisone, I can almost feel a hum of energy buzzing inside of me. I know my body is not up to doing much at this point and so it is very frustrating to be "humming" and not able to use the energy up. However, if I do too much at this time in the cycle, I get light-headed and dizzy. I feel useless when I'm like this. I see my husband trying to carry the whole load and I feel very torn as I know that I should be taking it easy but also have this extra energy that could be used. It is frustrating to say the least.
Overall, this has been a good day though. I loved watching my children this morning and I loved being out for a drive in the sunshine. It was nice to get outside and down to the shoreline. On top of it all, I noticed that my asparagus is sprouting up. I should be able to cut some for eating this week. I love asparagus!
My stomach was rumbling and rolling again. The bathroom was my "room" for about 2 hours. After that all settled down, it was time for my last anti-nausea pill. I was going to head back to bed because I was already tired but at that point my son awoke and I wanted to see my children participate in one of their last Easter Egg Hunts. I gently shook my daughter awake. She is not a morning person and is slow to respond. That was until I said "Your brother is already awake and will be getting all the eggs." She jumped out of bed and grabbed one of the baskets. The race was on! It brought joy to my soul and a smile to my face to watch my teenage children enthusiastically participate just like when they were little children.
We then sat down and watched the Men's World Curling Championship game where Canada won the gold!!
I found my stomach responded better to smaller healthy snacks instead of breakfast, lunch and supper. I'm still fighting thrush and I read that fresh strawberries, cantaloupe and carrots help. So I had a mid-morning snack of strawberries, a lunch of leftover carrots from last night's supper and then a combination snack later on of carrots and strawberries. I did break down and have a good serving of supper which consisted of pork roast, yorkshire puddings (done on the BBQ), mashed potatoes, gravy and salad. I had read that if you combine meat with starch (potatoes) and if you eat white bread it encourages the thrush. I had no restraint and ate all of the supper. I did pay for it as I could feel the fizziness of the thrush working. So out came the Nystatin as a rinse and spit solution. It has helped.
Early this afternoon, my husband took me out for a drive down to Lake Ontario. It was windy down by the lake and our attempted walk was aborted because I was getting cold. We then went for a circuitous drive home so I could enjoy some different scenery as well as get some water views. Once we got home, I sat outside on the patio in the sun for a little bit. I was bundled up as if it was mid winter. I had a touque, 2 hoodies, jacket and 2 afghans wrapped around me to help keep me warm. I didn't last that long outside as I was getting chilled. So I carried the afghans inside and they kept me warm while I sat on the couch and watched The Masters golf championship. It took me several hours to warm up.
It's been a good day although the prednisone is giving me excess energy. I was wanting to help with the laundry but I seemed to just create tension because I didn't just sit down like I was told. When I'm on the prednisone, I can almost feel a hum of energy buzzing inside of me. I know my body is not up to doing much at this point and so it is very frustrating to be "humming" and not able to use the energy up. However, if I do too much at this time in the cycle, I get light-headed and dizzy. I feel useless when I'm like this. I see my husband trying to carry the whole load and I feel very torn as I know that I should be taking it easy but also have this extra energy that could be used. It is frustrating to say the least.
Overall, this has been a good day though. I loved watching my children this morning and I loved being out for a drive in the sunshine. It was nice to get outside and down to the shoreline. On top of it all, I noticed that my asparagus is sprouting up. I should be able to cut some for eating this week. I love asparagus!
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