Thursday 31 May 2012

A Busy Bee

I forgot to post last night because I'd had a busy day and then went for a very long walk with my husband.  I still don't walk too fast but I'm definitely able to walk farther.  Yesterday, I collected and handed in the offline money that had been collected so far by our team for the Relay For Life.  I also ran some errands and did 2 loads of laundry and hung them out to dry.  By the time I got home from my walk last night, I was very tired.  As a result, I slept well last night.

This morning I did another load of laundry and finished transplanting all my plants.  I wanted to go to my son's high school baseball game so I had to have everything done and myself cleaned up by 2:30.  I did it!!  I was out of breath and my muscles were sore but I did it.  I enjoyed my son's ball game except the wind was cold.  This was a quarter-final game and they won.  My son pitched four innings and, in my humble opinion, he played very well.  My hips stiffened up and it was difficult to get off the bleachers but again I did it with out any help!

I'm tired again tonight and my hips are achy.  I'll have to keep them moving and maybe stretch them before I go to bed tonight.  I've noticed a change in myself in the last couple of weeks.  I've always been sensitive, caring and compassionate.  I would feel hurt for other people and even for myself but I wouldn't shed many tears.  The full emotions including tears were often dealt with inside of myself.  I now find that tears fill my eyes and overcome me very easily.  I just need to read about another survivor of cancer and I'm filled with emotions that overflow in the form of tears.  These won't be gushing, noisy tears but more the silently weeping kind.  I'm wondering if this is a delayed reaction to the last several months.  Maybe they are tears of thanksgiving.

For example, this afternoon as I was transplanting some petunias into my front flowerbed, a young but full-sized doberman pinscher was running loose in the street with the owners trying to catch her.  The owners were in a car but also on foot.  We were all trying to catch their dog when she ran into the street and hit a moving van on the side.   The dog was alright as she twisted and ran down the street towards a very major intersection.  After the owners took off after the doberman, I found myself trying to go back to my gardening, but I had tears in my eyes.  I felt just terrible watching the dog hit the van.  I was very thankful that she seemed to be OK but I was overcome with emotion.

I also find I'm overcome with emotion when I read the obituaries in the paper and see that someone young (I'm including myself as being young) has died from cancer.  This will bring me to tears very easily.  I used to feel sad for the families but I never actually cried over the obituaries.

I know it is perfectly acceptable to cry but the tears just seem closer to the surface now.  On a happier note, the Relay For Life team has made over $5,700!  I can't thank everyone who has supported us to reach this goal.  We did this in just four weeks of fundraising.  Tomorrow is supposed to be wet, windy and raw (cold).  I'm still hoping to last for the full night.  I'm going to bring my warm track pants, my warmest hoodie, my winter coat and my warmest toque which a friend made for me.  I've got my rubber boots and I will extra pairs of socks.  I'm even bringing mitts with me.  I'm going to try to nap tomorrow afternoon so that I can stay up all night long.  My husband has different ideas.  He has already said that he will drag me out of there if it gets too damp and cold.  I'm hoping that I will be dressed warm enough to withstand the weather.  We'll see.

1 comment:

  1. Way to go Cathy..what an accomplishment...$5700...I tend to agree with Scott.....don't overdo it...you are still healing from all the chemo and ordeal etc...there is always be next year to do the all night part...enjoy and embrace the moment

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