Day 15 - 6th Chemo Cycle

I was tired again today.  I still can't make firm plans each day.  My plans are all contingent on whether I have the energy to go out.  I had hoped to do the mundane task of grocery shopping today.  I so want to help out towards household chores and make it easier on my husband.  However, when I woke up today I just knew that I didn't have the energy to do the shopping.

My mind had energy even though my body did not.  I was in a creative mood and made another quinoa salad for lunch.  I was very pleased with it and there was enough to have at dinner time too.  My son and husband even enjoyed it.  I created a stuffed chicken breast using the few ingredients we had in our refrigerator and pantry.  I could tell it is time to do a grocery run.  Anyway, I flattened some chicken breasts and put a slice of black forest ham on each along with a small square of cheddar cheese.  I rolled the breasts up and secured them with a toothpick.  Then I took some leftover salsa and combined it in a pot over medium heat with orange marmalade, dried lemon peel, cardamom, cumin and celery seed.  Once the orange marmalade was melted and combined with the salsa and spices, I spooned it over each chicken breast and then baked them uncovered for 35 minutes at 350.  I served it with the quinoa salad and a caesar salad.  In my opinion, it worked very well.  My son asked for me to reserve the extra breast for him to eat after his baseball game tonight.

I was happy to be able to have enough energy to be creative and cook a full meal today.  I know this is something that I used to take for granted but in the last 6 months, it has been an infrequent activity for me just because I did not feel well enough or have enough energy to cook.  I now appreciate and take pleasure in the small things in life.

Secretly, I was glad it was cool and rainy today because I allowed myself to have a rest day.  I enjoyed a leisurely visit with a friend over tea this afternoon.  It has currently stopped raining and I'm hoping I can go for a short walk yet tonight.

Tomorrow I go for my CT scan in the morning.  The last one I had in December, I had a slight reaction to the red dye that they injected into me.  I hope that my veins don't roll as they try to get the needle into me tomorrow.  My veins rolled away from the nurses in both my fifth and sixth chemo treatments.  As far as the rash, I have some liquid benedryl at home now so I will just have to take that if I get a rash.  I'm not overly anxious but I am a little nervous about tomorrow.  I just hope the results will show that everything is clear and fine.  I won't know the results until Wednesday, May 16.  I have to mentally gird myself from thinking about the "what ifs".  I just want this all to be done with.  I'm looking forward to feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  At the moment, I still have a "huge boulder" resting on top of my shoulders as I wait.