Day 13 - 6th Chemo Cycle

I slept really well last night for a change.  I had energy when I woke up so I kept the van today.  I went to the school where I taught piano lessons and visited my students and the teachers during the noon hour.  It was nice to see everyone and it warmed my heart to receive the outpouring of affection and good wishes.  As per usual, everyone was very surprised at how well I looked.  My cheeks are pink and my weight hasn't changed.

This visit tired me out and I had no energy for the rest of the afternoon.  Generally, I'm feeling well at the moment.  The constipation bug is visiting and this time around, I'm trying to handle it through diet.  So I'm eating lots of fibre and drinking lots of water.  At some point, it will all start to move again.  I tire easily and I just have to make sure that I don't do too much in one day.

Tonight, I was very happy to go out with my son and buy a suit for his graduation.  It was fun and seemed to give me even more energy.  It's been a good day today.

A few days ago, I posted about watching my son play baseball.  It has been brought to my attention by various readers that I left everybody hanging and didn't let them know the outcome of the game.  His team won their game that day but I don't remember the score.  I just know it was great fun to be able to embrace life and participate in the outside world.

I realized today that I'm not experiencing a feeling of relief that I'm done my chemotherapy.  I expected that I would feel a great relief and feel like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  That hasn't happened yet.  I'm assuming it is because I still have a CT scan to go through on Friday and that I still have to hear my doctor tell me the results are clear.  I'm still just going day to day.  I'm not looking too far ahead yet.  I'm waiting for the day that I feel free and can celebrate fully a clean bill of health.  I'm not sure if this will happen next week or will I mentally and emotionally not feel like celebrating until 5 years from now when I'm declared "cancer free".  I guess I'll have to wait and see.  Just like at the beginning of this journey when I had to wait for chemotherapy to start, I'm back to waiting for clear results of medical tests.

Stay tuned.