Coping Strategies to Living with Lymphoma

I know I have blogged about coping strategies in the past but it is always good to remind myself how to cope. In the last several months, Hubby and I have been asked by various people, "How do you manage to be so positive?" For me, there are two answers to this question. First and foremost is my strong and committed belief in God and the guidance and help of the Holy Spirit that lives within me. The other answer to this question is I use my coping skills and strategies to keep me grounded and sane. When I do this, it allows me to live each day to the fullest of my physical ability.

As I have gone through the chemotherapy in the past, there are days where I'm just not feeling well enough to "do" anything. In the midst of chemo, as I struggled with side effects, it was all I could do to just breathe and take one breath at a time. It was in these harshest moments that I would rely on my God and my faith to get me through. I would envision Christ cradling me in comfort and carrying me in big hands that enfolded me and comforted me. I would also use the mantra "One breath at a time, one moment at a time, one step at a time."

Prayer, meditation and quiet moments are necessary to face and acknowledge the seriousness of my illness. That the lymphoma may always be with me. Part of living with lymphoma is the constant tests and appointments with my oncologist that are needed to determine if the disease is truly in remission and "gone" or is it still in my abdominal lymph nodes. The waiting for tests and then the results is very difficult to endure.  These are the times that I become anxious and restless due to the anxiety. I acknowledge those anxieties and then I have to find the strategy that works best for me in dealing with it. One of those strategies is keeping busy and living each day to the best of my ability. I don't want to become debilitated by the worry which is understandably easy to do. So I plan visits with friends and family. I go for walks with Hubby or friends. I read to keep my mind occupied and also to escape the worry. Hubby and I plan activities to keep ourselves distracted. We're not running away from our worries. We're not ignoring them. But we are living with the worry and deciding to distract ourselves and give ourselves a break from it.

I must admit that I also use my blog to help cope. By writing down what I'm feeling and how I cope with it, the feelings and the lymphoma have less of a strangle hold on me. I also find it comforting and helpful to have my cat, Frodo, sit on my lap while I just quietly stroke him. There is something very soothing about the slow rhythmic strokes that works to calm me.

I mentioned reading is an escape for me but so is watching movies or television programs. As I get stronger and if I feel restless, then I go for brisk walks or I vacuum and clean my home. The physical activity helps to work off my restless stress.

Knitting is another one of my coping strategies. When in treatments or recovering from treatment and I have not been strong enough to go for walks, then the knitting helps relieve my restlessness. The act of knitting and purling is very comforting to me just like petting the cat. I assume it is because knitting is also very rhythmic. Knitting and following a pattern is also good for my mind because while following a pattern, my mind is occupied and I can't dwell on the anxiety and worry of my situation.

Another reason I decided to blog about coping strategies today is I needed a reminder of what is in my "strategy tool box". I had my PET scan last week and on Wednesday, I will get the results of that. Hubby and I have spent the weekend attending the Kingston Canadian Film Festival. In 3 days, we attended 11 films together. This helped us to escape from the worry of the upcoming results. It tired us out physically as we walked briskly from one venue to the next to pick up tickets and/or get to the next film on time. Attending the film festival helped us to forget about our worries for the weekend.

This morning I am physically tired so I have to listen to my body and rest. Unfortunately, this is also when the "what ifs" and worries about the upcoming results of the PET scan like to make themselves known. So for today, I am reviewing my coping strategies. I am using these various strategies to get me through until Wednesday when I will get the results of the PET scan. So for the rest of the day, I will vacuum, clean, read and hopefully go for a brisk walk to clear my mind and work off any residual restlessness. However, after stating all this, I still have to listen to my body and probably adjust the activities I do today. So if the physical activity is too much, then I will read to escape the worry. Escapism is not running from my problems but another way to cope and give myself a break from the anxiety that I have already acknowledged. I absolutely refuse to let this disease (and all the fears that go with it) suck the life out of me. I will enjoy each day to the fullest of my physical ability. Carpe Diem!!