I have had a great week! This past Sunday, Hubby decided to get me out of the house and take me for a drive along the shores of Lake Ontario. What a gorgeous drive it was! Highway 33 is one of my favourite drives whether it be in the car or on the motorcycle. The sun was shining brightly and made the car feel very warm inside. However, once you stepped outside of the car, the wind still had a cold bite to it.
Monday was another sunny, blue sky kind of day here where I live. I wanted to be outside and was tempted to work on the yard. I am the one who normally rakes up all the leaves in our yard throughout the Fall. Unfortunately, this past Autumn, I was not well enough to work on this chore. So now as the snow is melting away, I see all those leaves on the lawn which will inhibit the new growth of grass. I want to get out there and rake it all up. I am not supposed to work with soil or leaves as my immune system is still compromised and I would inhale the mold and bacteria that would be disturbed. I am still tempted to tackle the leaves and I love to work in my gardens. I'm considering wearing a mask and using my gardening gloves to protect myself. Anyway, on Monday there was still too many patches of snow on the lawn that I could not get out there and do a good job of the raking. I still wanted to be outside so I decided to go for a brisk walk and at the same time find some geocaches. As I stepped outside, I realized that the wind was still bitterly cold. I came back inside the house and grabbed my toque and mitts. Now I was ready for my walk. I was very pleased with the pace that I was able to keep. I reached my destination and found my first geocache of my list of three that I intended to find. As I continued ,my walk, I realized that my right heel was beginning to feel like it was blistered. I need to be careful of cuts and open sores because it would be very easy for me to get infected and my body would have trouble fighting it. I decided to forego my second geocache and walked towards home. My third geocache was closer to home anyway so I could still go get it. As I continued to walk briskly, I could feel the blister getting worse. By the time I reached my subdivision, I realized that it would be foolish to continue to the third geocache. I went home and then checked the heel. Yes, there was a nasty blister and it had broke open. I treated it. Then I spent the rest of the day indoors with no socks on so that my heel could dry up. Today it is looking better but I continue to wear a bandage over it when I have to put on socks or shoes.
The rest of my week was spent visiting with friends. I went for another 45 minute brisk walk with a friend on Wednesday. Yesterday, I went for a 2 hour walk with my cousin-in-law through the woods and along the shore of the local conservation area. We had a terrific visit and the 2 hours went by very quickly. Last night Hubby and I went to our favourite Indian restaurant and then to the local OHL playoff hockey game.
This afternoon, Hubby and I will go visit a local funeral home as we lost a good friend earlier in the week. He and his wife have been so kind and generous to us over the years that we have known them. He will be sadly missed by many people. After our afternoon visit with the family, Hubby and I are meeting up with another couple of friends and going out for a lovely dinner at a local Italian restaurant and then we are going to see Foreigner in concert tonight. I've been looking forward to this concert for a couple of weeks.
I've had a great week but I often wonder about the spot that showed up in the PET scan. I wonder if it is getting bigger. I'm showing no symptoms at all. Any tiredness that I feel this morning is due to all the fun activity that I've been enjoying. I do worry about "the spot" (as I call it) though. There have been a couple of nights when I wake up around 2 a.m. and worry. Normally when this happens, I pray not just for myself but for various friends who are also currently going through their own challenges. I did have one night this week where I was frustrated and angry with God. My questions for Him were "Why are you not answering my prayers and all the other prayers that have been said on my behalf?!" "Why are you letting this lymphoma continue create havoc within me?!" That particular night, I worked myself into an anxious mess emotionally. I realized what I was doing and then relied on The Lord's Prayer to calm me. As calm and peace came over me, I realized that God has answered prayers last Fall. I was told to expect to be in hospital for 4 to 5 weeks. Instead I was there for 2 weeks and 2 days. The lymphoma had disappeared and was not apparent in the CT scan done on January 2. Perhaps prayers are being answered. Perhaps "the spot" is not lymphoma. I then recalled that I saw a medium in October 2016. She had mentioned that I would have a "small blip" with my health and then that would be the end of the major illness. On Monday night, there was a local call-in show on television that dealt with tarot card readings and something called "channeling". The host, who read the tarot cards, had a special guest who did "channeling". An email was sent asking about my cancer journey and the "cloud on the horizon". Both ladies answered that I was going to come out of this turbulence and into calm, healthy waters. Both ladies said that they did not believe "the spot" was cancer. I know that I sound like I'm grasping at straws. I know that I sound desperate to receive good news regarding the lymphoma. Does what the two ladies do and fully believe in work? I don't know. I do know that my faith has been shaken in the past couple of weeks. I found that the ladies on the show on Monday night gave me hope.
I still think I've had a great week. Of course, there is uncertainty. I think it is normal to be concerned. I'm really trying not to let that concern overtake my life. I still believe in not letting cancer take one more day from me than it needs to. I feel great right now so I will take each day and wring as much joy, activity, enjoyment and love from it as I can. I truly am trying to seize each day and live it to the fullest.
No comments:
Post a Comment