Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Day 20 - 5th Chemo Cycle

Today I registered my team for the Relay For Life.  This is a fundraiser for the Canadian Cancer Society and the money goes to support the programs for those living with cancer.  Some of the money also goes towards research.  For those who may be interested in donating on my behalf you can go to the following link:


All I can think is that the donations in the last 20 years helped fund the lymphoma research.  If I had been diagnosed with lymphoma 20 years ago, my husband would be attending my funeral and adjusting to life as a widower at much too young an age.  Because people have been generous with their donations in the past, I am looking at a 80% cure rate.  My hope is that I can help raise funds so that somebody in the future is given the good news that their cancer is curable.  Just think what it would be like to live in a world where all cancers were beatable!

Today, I was also very anxious about my upcoming treatment.  What if the lymph node in my neck is growing again.  I have been fighting some hoarseness since Friday.  There also seems to be some puffiness in the area where the tumour was orginally located.  Logically, I tell myself this could be caused by the trimming of the hedge.  I was using manual hedge shears.  The fearful part of me says it could be the tumour getting ready to grow again.  I'll be mentioning the hoarseness and the puffiness to my doctor tomorrow.

My husband remembers the doctor telling us that if there are still enlarge lymph nodes after the sixth treatment, then I can still have two more chemotherapy treatments.  The extra treatments would interfere with my being able to participate in the Relay For Life and also another weekend that I have planned as a reward for myself.  I don't want to have to go through anymore chemotherapy treatments.  My anxiety has been causing me to feel a little nauseous again.  I've also had trouble sleeping although that is being caused by night sweats.

I'm feeling grumpy and out of sorts.  I'm tired of the treatments.  I know that this is probably the last one but I really don't look forward to next week when I'm tired, nauseous and food tastes sour and terrible.  I also don't like seeing the IV bags hanging on the pole and watching the chemicals go down the tube into my arm.  The worst chemical is the third one that is red.  I hate seeing the red liquid come down the tube and then into me.  That's why I bring a book to read so I don't have to watch such unnatural chemicals pump into me.  I don't like how my body smells of chemicals afterwards.  I want my body to be back to normal.  I want to be able to have energy to work in my garden.  I want to be able to go for long walks and not be exhausted.  I want to be able to talk for hours and not have any hoarseness.

The good news is that my team Cathy Conquers Cancer is now able to start raising funds online and offline.  I managed to get this organized and registered before my next treatment.  People can be fundraising while I'm recuperating from my last treatment.  Hopefully, I'll feel better in time for my birthday.  That would be nice.

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