Day 1 - 5th Chemo Cycle

I didn't sleep well last night.  Between the multiple night sweats and anxiety about today, I was up many times.  My chemotherapy treatment was booked for 8:30 a.m.   When I arrived, I was surprised at the amount of people in the waiting room.  I have never seen that many people in the waiting room before.  There were not enough chairs and many people were standing wherever there was space. 

I was called in at 8:50 a.m. and was given a "window" seat.  I looked out over Lake Ontario today.  I've been fortunate because out of 5 treatments, I've looked out over Lake Ontario 3 times.  Anyway, I found out that it was extra busy today because they are closed tomorrow for Good Friday.  They will busy like that again on Tuesday as they are closed for Easter Monday.  The poor nurses were run off their feet.  But they kept their pleasant and humourous demeanors throughout the morning.  The Easter Bunny came through with baskets of mini chocolate eggs, so she dropped two off for me to enjoy.  I ate them immediately because I wasn't sure how I would feel about eating chocolate later.  They were good!  While I had the chemo drip into my vein, I read my current novel.  There is a bell at the entrance/exit of the Chemotherapy Clinic that patients can ring at the halfway mark of their treatment and/or at the end of their treatment.  I heard the bell ring three different times this morning.  I don't know if people were only half way through and ringing the bell or if they were finished their whole chemo regimen and ringing the bell.  Whichever, it encouraged me emotionally and I am glad that there is only one more treatment to go.  The next time I'm in the Chemothereapy Clinic, I'll be ringing the bell when I walk out!!!

So far this afternoon, I've been tired and cold.  I slept most of the afternoon.  No nausea has shown up yet, although the stomach was gurgling when it came time for my next dose.  I ate a 6 inch turkey sub for lunch.  I normally like onions and green peppers among other things but I have found in the last treatment cycle that the onions and green peppers repeated on me.  I don't want to give my stomach any ammunition to ambush me, so omitted those items off my sub.  For supper, we had chinese food.  I have always eaten everything because I never wanted to teach my children to be picky eaters and, honestly, I like most foods anyway.  However, I did pick around the green peppers and onions again.  My appetite was pretty good tonight.

The last few days, I was struggling with my attitude toward the chemotherapy.  Then yesterday, I heard about two people that I know who do not have good survival rates.  As the chemo was going into me today, all I could think was that although I don't like to do the chemo and I dont want to do the chemo, the chemo is curing me.  The fifth and sixth round of chemo are used for the long-term cure.  This put it all in perspective and the ultimate goal is to cure me completely.  I never want to go through this again.  So bring it on!  I'll get through this cycle and then only one more to go.

After my treatments, I will get stronger and then we will begin the Cathy Conquers Cancer Tour!  I'll blog about that later on when plans are more confirmed.