Monday, 9 April 2012

Day 5 - 5th Chemo Cycle

Again, I had a sleepless night due to being on the prednisone.  As a result, I was very tired today.  But again, being on the prednisone, I couldn't sleep or nap today because of the excess energy they create.  So I spent the day watching tv, knitting and reading.  The prednisone also makes me restless so even though I'm tired, I'm up and wandering around.  I'm glad today was my last day to take the prednisone in this cycle.

I did go to the chiropractor today to help keep my bowels in line.  The thrush is still just in my mouth and not down my throat, so I'm continuing to do the swish and spit rather than swish and swallow.  Even swishing and spitting leaves a terrible taste in my mouth from the Nystatin.  I've struggled the last couple of days with nauseousness immediately after using the Nystatin.  I'm also struggling to keep the fluid intake going because it doesn't go well with the Nystatin.  I have to make sure that I drink enough water or tea so that I'm hydrated and the chemo can continue to be cleansed from my system.  I know that the chemo is gone after 2 days but I always emit a chemical smell until almost the third week.

While I was at the chiropractor, I realized that in 3 weeks time I will have finished my last chemotherapy treatment and will be on the road back to normalcy!!!  This was such a bright light to my day.  I realized that I've been getting through the last 5 months by plodding along one day at a time.  Plodding and plodding.  Not getting too excited and trying to keep myself out of the doldrums.

A couple of days ago, I had one of my few days where I was feeling sorry for myself.  I was in a complaining and whiny mood because I was getting tired of the whole process.  I hope that I never have to go through chemotherapy again.  I like food.  I like to eat.  I like to have a glass of wine with my meal.  I like to visit with friends and watch my children do their activities even though it makes life a little hectic.  I've really missed doing these things.  I can't wait to enjoy a turkey dinner with all the fixings and not worry about mixing bread with meat or starch with meat because it will increase and irritate the thrush.  I can't wait to sit with friends or my husband on the patio and enjoy a glass of wine.  I can't wait to just see friends again and not worry about pacing myself or tiring myself out or wondering if I'll catch some germ or bug from them.  I can't wait to go shopping with my daughter and not run out of energy.  I can't wait to buy my son a suit ensemble for his prom.  I can't wait to go shopping for paint swatches with my daughter for her room.  I can't wait until my body is back to normal.  I'm not complaining.  I'm just looking forward to the activities that I'll be able to start to do again.

I have to thank all my friends and family again.  I know I repeat myself in my blog at times.  This is because there have been many times when I've been feeling down or weak and you have all loaned me some of your strength, your faith and your encouragement.  This has helped me through the last 5 months and I have realized the importance of being weak enough to lean on the strength of those around us.  It is through this weakness and then the sharing of others' strength that relationships have grown in depth.  It is also through weakness that our faith is strengthened.

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